Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 07, 2022

Best opening lines are off the cuff spontaneous.

It is OK to call someone a Lady, but it is not OK to call someone a Lord.

He is wearing a red tie

I’ve always been partial to whom.

Too much information, Phil.;D

Ladies, get use to those, cause you created them…

Well, it’s a great closing line, Phil.

Phil is more than half empty.

Phil has a better chance if he pretends to be mute… or unconscious.

What happened to "What’s a beautiful looking young thing like you doing in a place like this? Do you come here often? I don’t think I’ve seen you before … " Oh, sorry, too 1960s – my apologies.

Swing and a miss

“Lady, would you like to take my seat?”“F*ck off, you sexist crap”“Sorry, I mistook you for a lady”

Woof! A look at the comments shows that Phil has a lot of company in just not getting the concept. Meeting people is not supposed to be as if you were treating them like prey or the gravy bowl at the buffet table

I can relate to that.

“A sensitivity training certificate?”

“Yes, top of my class.”

“Why did you take a sensitivity training class?”

“The judge ordered if after I said all the women at the office were lazy tokens, who should be home and pregnant.”

I met my wife in high school. I never had to play the dating game. That’s one huge stressor out of my life.

Political correctness, another example of the ongoing trend of the tail’s ability to wag the dog.

He flunked the course. Look closely. That is a participation certificate.

Give it up, Phil. They fall somewhere in the LBGTQETC rainbow.

I think not knowing what a pronoun is (or why some people feel they’re important) is going to be a hangup for you, there, bud.

I’ve found that a really bad joke works quite well. Luckily, I have no sense of humour at all, though I pretend to have one.

None of that matters until after she’s realized she’s attracted to him (or, more likely in this case, not).

Being without a partner for over 16 years. I wouldn’t know how to go about finding anyone these days. Too scary.

hey baby fool around, that work for me

https://resources.arcamax.com/newspics/238/23811/2381104.gif

oh i’ve got to use that one!

ARE there any good opening lines when picking up a person at a bar? I thought people went to bars so they wouldn’t have to expend any energy or thoughtfulness in picking up. . .

“Lady” is a noun, not a pronoun, Phil.

Me pronoun is “El Conquistador”

It’s in his underpants (allegedly).

I’d say he flunked…

“Can I buy you a drink?” Works or it doesn’t and no one’s offended.

“I’m not really this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet…” Years later we’re still together.

If ladies sense you’re shy,they’ll forgive the faux paux.

um, ladies is not a pronoun

Um, only third person singular pronouns are gender marked, and they are not forms of address. Basically, in English and related languages, the discourse categories are Speaker (first person), Spoken-To (second person) and Other (third person). Some languages do it differently, and there are various ways to handle “spoken-to” (in English, the old plural form has completely ousted the original singular).

Just show them your bank account. If it is big enough that will work.

Most women (I can’t speak for men) realize that men who have to think up opening lines in advance [or even think in terms of ‘opening lines’] aren’t worth getting to know. Women don’t usually like to be thought of as a stereotypical and they also don’t like to be considered prizes or prey.

Anybody who’s gone through sensitivity training should never admit to needing it.

This toon comes a long way from my days of looking for fine chicks in our watering holes!

Okay, Phil has demonstrated his lack of sensitivity and the invalidity of his certificate. Now he should take a class in basic English grammar, and this time, actually try to learn something.

Has he had all his shots?

A simple “hello” would suffice.

Phil should take a look at their black belt certificates.

Let the girls approach you… works out better

Even better… allow the lady to make the overture, if she is interested.

I don’t know about the pronouns, but I’m guessing they have a few good verbs for him.

Um…Nope

Not to quibble, much, but Ladies is a Noun, not a Pronoun.