Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 15, 2023

You mean Tom Brady’s an Alien?

Save the watches, it’s too late for the boots.

Yeah, I’m a former HR director at Twitter. You can check, if you can find anyone there to talk to.

Please don’t let this lead up to Eddie & the Fabulist having a drag race.

I guess fishermen and congressmen both claim to have almost landed whoppers.

The question is: Do we swallow the bait and the hook?

I hope Douglas Adams estate gets royalties for that ‘joy riding’ ides.

Am I barking up a gum tree, or does George look a lot like Henry Kissinger?

Takes “beware the Ides of March” to a new level.

Was a “resume’ Embellishment throw-down” a requirement to get a job at FAUX Noise???

hardly a new discovery about aliens. the idea of ‘teasers’ was established in 1978 in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy rich kids with nothing better to do landing on planets and strutting up and down in front of some loner no one would believe.

Great Summary Wiley, exactly mine as well!

My resume is the truth … just not the whole truth. I get to defend my screw-ups at the interview.

The guy sounds like he’s a friend of chairman of the oversight committee who has ended the investigation into Buttercup’s financial gains while president. He claims no knowledge of a name that has been floated in every news media for months. Either he is a full-on ignoramus or a liar, or both, as he is equally qualified in either category.

I wonder who’s Kissinger now?

Whelp, GQP, you’re now officially operating at Eddie level, ‘ceptin’ that Eddie is nicer.

Wait a minute. The commenters are denigrating the winner of the EGOTPHONB? You are probably familiar with the small number of Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony winners known as the EGOT. The egoist has them all beat because he has won the Emmy Grammy Oscar Tony Pulitzer Heisman Olympic Nobel and Booker awards, prizes, medals and trophies.

Anticipating the “Mike Drop”

I heard Santos has the unmitigated gall to file the paperwork to run for election in 2024

$19 million yacht at center of new probe into scandal-plagued George Santos

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) brokered a $19 million yacht deal between two of his wealthy donors that has become one of more than a dozen leads under investigation by the FBI.Federal and state authorities are investigating the purchase of a 141-foot super yacht by Long Island auto dealer Raymond Tantillo from Mayra Ruiz, a Republican donor in Miami, that was brokered by Santos, who negotiated the $12.25 million up-front payment to be followed by $6.5 million more paid in installments, reported the New York Times.

This just in: New York Times, March 15, 2023, Sale of $19M yacht brokered by George Santos. For real. Happy trails!

Santos was exiled here BY aliens.

He’ll write his meal at the diner off as a “campaign expense”

The boys are just doing their warm-ups for the Burlington Liars’ Club contest.

2022 winner Daniel B. Lohnis: “The list price of my new car was so high, I was able to use the cash back rebate to purchase my first home.”

A resume bullet point might say “Well-versed in alien spaceship design”

She is not wrong

Eddie has met his match

My money’s on Captain Eddie. He’s more entertaining, anyway.

My sister in law’s husband offered to tune up my resu for me. The finished product was about someone with the same name I have but totally different otherwise.

Yes, and the only uniform item for this new pastime is a barf bag.

In the next room I have an Esteemed Toastmasters Bullslinger Trophy for reporting my discovery of the Chugwater Runestone, whose inscription tells of the Viking animal breeder who came to Wyoming and created jackalopes.

Those two are so boring!

So, it was advice from Aliens that Crashed Silicon Valley Bank.

“Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets that haven’t made interstellar contact yet and buzz them.” “Buzz them?” Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life difficult for him. “Yeah,” said Ford, “they buzz them. They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one’s ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises.”