Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 23, 2023

And that’s why you never give in to extortion

Nah … It just seems longer … A lot longer …

They live longer, but . . .

2 rules for a happy marriage : 1. Your wife is always correct 2. See Rule 1. BTW I’ve seen this cartoon before – probably back in 2019 (which is the publication date, bottom left). Still funny; nice to be gently reminded.

And I’d like to change that steak to the baked chicken…for dessert, do you have Jello?

Tell her you want to eat like a king!!!

One who has subjugated himself to his wife’s desires, is that living or existing?

It just seems longer.

“Scientists evaluated 3,682 adults over a 10-year period. Even after taking major cardiovascular risk factors such as age, body fat, smoking, blood pressure, diabetes, and cholesterol into account, married men had a 46% lower rate of death than unmarried men.”

I’m doomed.

I’m thinking its been a long time since the last committee override.

My oversight committee keeps telling me to eat more :)

In (coincidentally?) 2019, a report via the CDC stated that married men had a death rate 2.4 times lower than widowers. Married women had a death rate 2.6 times lower than widows. Makes me wonder about her oversight committee …

Aw, he’s just Mister Potato Head.

Married men live longer because they have to. And the correct answer to any question from the wife is always, “Yes, dear”.

The beginning of a marriage is like a Euchcre hand. all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond, near the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

He affectionally calls his wife “Gort.”

Good one

And when they are not watching have a Cheeseburger, just make sure to rid yourself of any evidence… Onion breath!

His oversight committee is looking at him with Jewish Space Lasers in her eyes.

Married men may live longer than single men, but why do married men die before their wives?…….They want to.

‘’… for dessert, a glass of water, at room temperature.’’

So true.

We haven’t got to the coffee-at-dinner phase yet.

In our western culture (and many others), married women have long been criticized if they “let themselves go” when their looks change (i.e., when they gain/lose weight). They watch their diets partly to avoid such insults and partly because they realize that it is a good idea to stay healthy. Also, wives and mothers have long been responsible for maintaining the health of their family — making healthy meals, nurturing sick children and spouses, etc. When a husband gains weight or has health problems, the wife is criticized for not “taking better care of him.” As if she can keep him from buying and eating snacks at work or coming home via a drive-thru. Wives/mothers are criticized for nagging and criticized for not nagging enough. It’s a no-win situation.

And why shouldn’t wives be concerned about their spouse’s health? They realize that they themselves will never “be retired” — that state in which their life is secure and they are free to do whatever they want. Wives realize that they will always be the one responsible for the care and feeding of their spouse. Their “golden years” will still be spent taking care of the house and people in it. Naturally, they don’t really want that to include bedpans and diapers. Ask any man if he is looking forward to taking care of a sick spouse during his retirement years.

According to the statistics, since I am married, I will commit suicide 25% less than my unmarried counterparts.

The only time my wife has any input about what I eat is when it’s her turn to cook; she’s also the ‘sour cream on potatoes’ lover.

Mommy always says, “Eat your vegetables.”

My husband died way too soon. If he had ever fancied a loaded baked potato, I wouldn’t have made an issue of it.

Yes dear

They also have someone making sure they go to a doctor occasionally.

All the carbs from the potato can’t be good for him.

Heavy on t he blue cheese dressing.

Married men sometimes live longer because someone is taking care of us. My single friends smoked and drank, and ate stuff out of cans. They drank instant coffee. Their apartments looked like pigstys, akin to Oscar Madison of the Odd Couple

You call that living?

Women live longer than men. Because most of them aren’t married to women.

That salad dressing is probably loaded with transfats and sugar, and you’re better off with the potato.

Sugar and smoking are the leading causes of cardiovascular disease.

Married life always ends in death.

As long as you know what you Like but know what your gonna Get.

You might have a longer life, but are you living?

Screw that. It’ll buy you a few more years in a diaper sucking on a respirator. Carpe diem! Butter up, butter cup.

BTW – he forgot to wish for bacon on that potato.

My married life cannot possibly last long enough, and I can’t imagine anything better/

I have both and take the doggos out for an extra long walk the next morning or go for a long bike ride.

I always thought this is why husbands die before their wives. Because they want to.

Why do women live longer than men? Because men put up with women!