Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 22, 2023

Be smart, take a drop and a penalty stroke.

Then again, when have men ever really played it smart.

And on the eighth day, God created golf…..

AKA the Original Forbidden Fruit.

If you check the section referring to the dress code, you’ll see that you’ve already broken the rules.

Lawyers agree, you have to play tRump where he lies!

And that is an enormous area!!

The truth comes out.

Can’t be true. Eve would still be in the garden.

Darn ‘club’…I guess size does matter.

I knew golf was evil!

I thought golf was a good day in the park ruined. So, how can that be Eden?

Fried snake tastes like chicken.

The Rule Book says, “ Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and tend it. 16 The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may freely eat; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for on the day that you eat from it you will certainly die.” Gen.2

Summary: You had One job!

Well, game over.

According to Hardy Greaves in The Legend of Bagger Vance. It’s fun. It’s hard and you stand out there on that green, green grass, and it’s just you and the ball and there ain’t nobody to beat up on but yourself; just like Mister Newnan keeps hittin’ himself with the golf club every time he gets angry. He’s broken his toe three times on account of it. It’s the only game I know that you can call a penalty on yourself, if you’re honest, which most people are. There just ain’t no other game like it.

According to the rules of golf an unplayable lie has 3 options and all entail a 1 stroke penalty. So let us use the example of TFG’s claim that the 2020 election was stolen. That lie caused many to have a stroke and they could advance no further than that. Option #1 would be to go back to the spot of their original lie and replay it. Well they have done that often enough and gone no further except to have more strokes so let us examine option #2 – going back as far as you would like and dropping the ball on that line. Obviously going back to the Dark Ages is where the GQP would like to go but they cannot because cleary the oligarchy would have to go with them and they have no balls for that. So maybe option #3 – drop anywhere within 2 club lengths of where their lie is. With so many lies they cannot choose 1 single spot to drop. Since they have already dropped their balls the GQP simply has to have another stroke and try yet again but what club would ever have them and that only puts them right back where they started, i.e. their 1st of many, many strokes

This is a much more sensible explanation than that apple thing.

Since Eve was present, she proves that GOLF does not mean gentlemen only, ladies forbidden. Play through, ladies!

Decisions, decisions forget golf and bend over Eve because it’s time for you to get the shaft.

Well, Eve’s finally off the hook for causing all the evils to befall humans.

Eden was supposed to be paradise. If there is the frustration of golf, then it’s not paradise.

OKay! So it was actually Golf that caused The Original Sin! The idea of original sin was already the sickest and most evil thing humans have managed to come up with to make life unbearable, but to add one of the most useless ‘games’ to the pile as cause is a bit over the top.

Didn’t he write the rule book for golf?

don’t look now but Eve appears to be trans

I’ve already said (since I was about 3) that chasing those poor innocent little golfs around is EVIL.

Out of spite!

Cuz God has a wicked sense of humor.

I prefer George Carlin’s take on golf.

Take a penalty stroke and drop a new ball.

Where is the Funny Part??

More enticing than the apple.

Grammar kudos to Mr. Miller. He knows when to use “to lie” and when to use “to lay.”

But shaking fists, growls and curses to the fates, which made the past tense spelling of the first the same as the present tense spelling of the second! Boo!

Golf… Truly a Satanic creation.

Adam is leaving Eve to interpret a golf rule-book?