Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 04, 2023

I’m cool with cyclists as long as they get me my lunch on time.

Another difference is that psychos can fake sympathy for others.

Only about 1 in 5 say that on our bike/walk path.

I never felt that safe as an adult riding my bike in town. As a hiker, I wanted the trail all to myself, but sometimes I had to share the trail with horses and mountain bikes. The key is that everybody has to be polite to everybody else.

I wonder if any real-life Jefs ever learn anything from this strip.

Snuck? Sneaked?

un-thank you!?!

If you commute by bicycle then you know how often you are shouting “On your left” at people who are totally oblivious to you being right behind them and will not get out of the way.

From my experience working in DC, cyclists have no regard for traffic laws.

Rat’s ability to get on the wrong side of so many people never ceases to amaze me…though I’m with him on this one. :D

He’d shout, “Share the road!” In my city the problem is electric scooters. they don’t even shout, they’re too busy listening to music with earpods. They just zip down the pavement and it’s up to pedestrians to be aware, I guess.

I had quite a shock the other day. A group of bicyclists stopped at a red light.

Saw another cyclist temporarily stop then start moving while it was still red.

Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles? They tend to lose their balance!

From what I can tell cyclist are immune to the traffic laws, such as stop signs. The Cyclist motto is slow or bring traffic to a complete stop.

Use to hate that when I was on a bike , it would always startle me and almost causing an accident, they would always wait until they were next to me.

Jeff isn’t a psycho, but these two animals are making him think of becoming one.

Ha, wish they’d call out. Most of the time I don’t know they’re there until they fly past.

LOL!!

Maybe he’s Australian. “On your right, mate.”

Hahahaaa… When our daughter was a toddler (mid-80s), the annual Wolverine 200 bicycle ride was still a thing on Belle Isle. Husband would strap her into the baby seat on the back of his Giant and take her on a few 5-mile laps. “On your left!” was among the first things she learned to call out.

Our sympathies to cyclists everywhere. We would like to make you feel welcome on our planet. ;)

And then hit you from the right!

Those who are not cyclists are simply that – not .

On your left, on your right – whatever it takes, without slowing down, to get past those pesky pedestrians with their dogs and baby strollers.

I shout “on your left”. More than 50% of people look right.

Something tells me Stephan got this idea from fan mail.

way too many self-absorbed cyclists don’t call that out and cause problems

That would be ‘we cyclists’, not ‘us cyclists. Drop the word cyclist and that’s how you can tell to use us or we.

Now being posted in bike shops all around the country. Nice one.

I usually ring my bell and announce ‘on your left’, trying to project friendliness and civility and allowing enough time and space for people to react. I am frequently thanked. I find myself annoyed by guys who just blow past and don’t announce their presence or wait until they’re right on your flank. Startling people is both rude and dangerous.

My sense is that not nearly enough of us cyclists call out “on your left…”

We have a park with a path that’s open to pedestrians and cyclists. The cyclists must think the “Speed Limit 15” signs apply only to the pedestrians. Granted, they do call out “on your left!” as they’re pedaling hard downhill at 30 mph past the families with little kids and strollers.

I think Pastis description of many cyclists is dead on. They are our Superior Psycho’s

They are as sweet-natured as militant vegans.

I’m happy to see Jef the cyclist portrayed as a decent human being. And as such, a target for Rat’s sarcasm.

Also – even better strip today than usual.

Cheer up, Rat. Somewhere there’s an car door opening unexpectedly with Jef the Cyclist’s name on it.

They don’t even yell or whisper “On your left in Boulder,” they just blow by pedestrians with maybe an inch to spare. They’re also required by law to have a bell and ring it – but that law is not enforced. Giving them a 3-foot space passing them in a vehicle on a road IS enforced…

What ever idiot decided that it was smart to put bicycles and 2-3 ton motorized vehicles on the same path is totally ignorant. The government makes laws that vehicles yield right of way to cyclist. I think the bicycle is much more easy to control and much more maneuverable than a vehicle going 30 MPH or faster. We’ve had a few cyclist in our town that defied logic and rode out into traffic. They only did it once. Another question….when did cyclist start paying “road use taxes”? Cars pay through the nose in gasoline and registration fees and any other fee they can charge for vehicles to build and maintain roads. Don’t come back with “I pay city taxes , blah blah, blah”. So do I, but I don’t see any skateboard lanes, or roller blade lanes. They build parks for them, so build a park for bicycles. they want to use the roads, charge a registration fee for their cycles……even give a discount for the most ridiculous costume. I especially like the “winged” helmets and the body suits. Do they make them go faster? They must be trying to really go fast. They are always good for a laugh. Here is a surprise fact for all you cyclist……YOU are a hazard to traffic and yourself………otherwise, your worth about twenty points.

Are you saying most cyclists are liberals?

I would hear those bike cleats stomping on the floor first.

Any insights as to why people who ride bicycles are called “cyclists” and those who ride motorcycles are called “bikers”?

A bi-psychoist? Close enough.

On the flip side, some motorists can’t sneak up on bicyclist because they’re always screaming “#!&$ bicyclists!”

I do that, but most of the walkers on the trail get confused and turn to ask if I mean my left or their left just before I slam on my brakes and Go Head Over Heels over the handlebars. I ring my bell, too at times, but then they turn to see if it’s the ice cream truck coming.

What? There’s a strap under his ears … who is that masked man?

psycho cyclists have nearly ruined cycling for the rest of us

A friend of mine was out riding her bike a few years ago, training for a triathlon and riding with one of her frequent race partners.

Enter 19-year-old kid whose license had been suspended, who was high, and who was texting.

She’s now a paraplegic, and the story garnered some interest in local media. Every. Single. Comment. Section. mirrored this one: “Well, one time five years ago, I encountered a rude cyclist who merged into traffic in front of me and made me tap on my brake pedal for three seconds, so I’m sure this was just an aggressive cyclist who was overdue for some karma to come her way!”

Some cyclists ride like they’re daring you to hit them…sooooo tempting!!

Oh, I hate this guy. A roomfull of Hell’s Angels would be less annoying.

If anybody ever went past you at 70mph and broke two of your toes,it was him.

Roflmao! Bikers need to stick to trails and bike lanes. It is absolutely too dangerous to be on the road with licensed vehicles that belong there.

For those just arriving, Jef (one “f”) the Cyclist is a parody of cartoonist Jef Mallatt, who does the “Frazz” strip, also on GoComics. The characters in that strip are always going on endlessly about all the exercise they’re getting, running, biking, swimming, etc. The main departure from that one-note samba is when it ridicules its stout or chubby characters for not doing the same. And of course all the little kids in the strip are fully up to speed on who won all the distance events in the 1904 Olympics and will bore you to death with the details of why the 2nd-place finishers should’ve been more properly hydrated before starting out.

A true cyclist would be just skin and bones above their legs.

I’ve always assumed Jef the Cyclist was a mild ribbing of Jef Mallett

Maybe someone will give an “f” about Jef so he can finish spelling his name.

Well, it’s only polite.

You tell him, Rat! Jef (with only one “f” for the sake of improving his speed, he believes) is too obsessive to be a successful Serial Killer, though he may be murderously deranged!…

By reverse deduction we determine that Rat is not a cyclist.

Nah, most Spandex Dudes never shout “On your left!” They just whoosh past you.

Whenever someone does call out “on your left” while we’re walking, we turn around on the bike path and say “Thank you!”

Bicyclists think they don’t need to follow road rules Eye Roll emoji