Herman by Jim Unger for April 22, 2024

congrats dude – i proved it the hard way.

“I’m the Urban Spaceman, baby

Here comes the twist:

I don’t exist!"

—Neil Innes

“Don’t overthink it” – René Descartes

Isn’t there supposed to be a cloud of smoke?

That must leave him feeling empty.

In a philosophy class I showed we had no reason to be there. Professor was speechless.

As I recall when entering puberty there were many girls over the next several years who proved that for me daily.

What a relief. So, no test on Friday?

Maybe he should have a talk with Ernesto.

Poof!

Check your old photos. You might be fading away like Marty McFly.

no worries! you forgot to carry the four in that equation to the bottom left

Neither do we.

No, that’s the equation that calculates the meaning of life!

He just calculated the IQ of all politicians.

I had an old philosophy professor in college who said, “There are those who will tell you that mountain does not exist. But I tell you, if they fly too low in a plane they will hit that mountain and they will no longer exist.”

Should we tell him that …

… his numbers don’t add (or multiply or divide) up?

And I thought it would take a few more equations to prove it

He forgot to carry the one

It’s not rocket surgery!

I think, therefore I am not.

Well, I guess I don’t have to pay taxes, then.

Is he cleansing the gene pool?

He’s a hologram.

He could have gotten that answer by simply walking down the hallway during class break. Most wouldn’t even notice him. Our existence in their lives starts and ends with a bell.

That could mean that existence is some form of mass hypnosis.

Wrong answer!

Of course not; he’s a figment of Unger’s imagination.

He forgot to carry the one!

Cogito ergo sum. – I think, therefore I am.

Cogito ergo rum – I drink, therefore I am.

Great for when the IRS shows up.

Can he come up with an equation proving Trump doesn’t exist?

“It is i, the square root of -1!”

Is this the same guy from Saturdays cartoon?

I fish, therefore I am. So IF you start fishing you will FIND yourself again. AND if you continue to fish you will find that no one else will know you exist – which isn’t bad – existing and no one knowing that is.

Then his equation is seriously flawed. If he’s standing there writing that, he exists.

Rene Descartes was sitting at a cafe enjoying a pastry and coffee.

The waiter approached the table asking if monsieur Descartes would care for anything else.

Descartes replied, “I think not.” and promptly vanished.

And that my dear children is why Herman is usually a single panel. There is nothing afterwards.

Well, the top equation clearly is wrong, and the bottom equation is as well, and the rest is just a jumble of numbers except for Einstein’s equation in two forms over on the right. So I don’t think he has to worry about having proved anything. Which should be a relief!

well, if you don’t exist, you couldn’t have proven it

Good. Now go away.

I’ve seen arguments to that effect, from several different angles. It takes a lot of brains to do the mental gymnastics to reach the conclusion that “I” don’t exist as such, but only as an illusion, simulation, etc.