Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 30, 2024

Some people are not open to different ideas.

First try speaking softly, but if that doesn’t work . . .

That’s why I replaced your pencil with the smallest pencil I could find.

But sometimes, the other dude is clearly wrong.

I’d so be yelling that loudly!

Talking hands!

C’mon Rat. You shouldn’t hit somebody with a stick … if they have a bigger stick.

Judging from the furniture, the teacher applied Rat’s approach to Rat.

Hydrogen bombs. So effective no one dare use them.

It is occasionally the right tool for the job.

Well if notheeng else is work then Rat’s way is the only way to goes.

Rat’s logic is sound. It comes down to how much time you have to waste on resolution.

‘Beat them with a stick’ ?? This is America! Go get your GUN.

Yeah, do the world a favor, Rat…don’t take anything that involves other people.

As an exercise, the group will employ whatever method you suggest on you.

They have school desks for an adult seminar that most likely was NOT held at a school

A rubber hose works better than a stick. Available at your local hardware store! Love you, Rat.

Maybe he should be teaching the class.

If the conflict is in a comic comment section I believe adolescent name calling is the standard.

A walking stick serves well. Or a large branch.

“I speak loud, and I carry a bigger stick” Yosemite Sam

Maybe he shouldn’t take any if he’s gonna keep up that attitude.

I once attended a 5 day “Time Management” course. Trainer promised we’d get Friday off, but later decided not to. I complained, and got in trouble. Was made to apologize to the Personnel manager responsible for training.

Nowadays, there are no 5 day-anythings.

Drag them into court on bizarre pretzel logic charges supported by a pathological liar and prosecuted by a racist prosecution minority hire affirmative action token to try to slander and bankrupt the defendant is hip these days. Just like, as the Beatles say, back in the U.S.S.R.

If you’re going to use a stick, at least commit and knock them out instead of mere ineffective beating .

Guard Duck should be at this seminar! He knows how to resolve conflict.

In parochial school, all stick-like objects (rulers, pointers, etc.) were primarily disciplinary tools.

It works in lacrosse.

Rat is ready for the advanced class.

See? The suggestions in the second panel are good ways to resolve conflicts.

Sometimes, Rat’s solution seems like the best idea.

Tragically, a “big stick” (war) is typically the way nations resolve differences of opinion.

Conflict to solve conflict. Irony.

Yet, another place where Rat is no longer welcome.

March into the country through underground tunnels, slaughter over a thousand and hide behind civilians. Then claim to be the victim

But beat them politely.

Well, it IS one way to resolve a conflict, just not the peaceful one.

I have a ‘Rat be good’ stick.

Gonna need a bigger stick.

Unfortunately, some folks need that stick upside the head to get the point (or to at least acknowledge that there IS one) when all conversational skills fail and even THAT doesn’t always work.

You know, you see the punchline coming in the first frame and it’s still funny.

Didn’t John Wick kill someone with a pencil?

just make sure your stick is bigger than the other person’s…(and don’t forget to speak softly, while you’re at it!)

Shoot first, ask questions later.

Well I see Rat has gotten past his “Mister Nice Guy” phase.

Au contraire, Rat!

Sounds like a plan.

Tear gas launchers allows you to put the ball in their court and let them think about it..

Write their bosses boss a factual complaint nastygram signed by my bosses boss.

Extinction of the bi-pedal species.

These days it’s more trendy to use a flag staff and bear spray.

Vote them off the island.

At the sentencing, the judge will h it Trump over the head with his gavel and yell :Here Come the Judge!"

There must have been cold, hard stares and crickets chirping after Rat gave his idea.

Employ Guard Duck

Sorry for your loss (of your mind).