Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 11, 2024

Stephan, you made an ash of yourself.

Anyone for roast pork?

It depends on how far back in time “traditional” refers to. Burial used to be cheaper.

Apparently the guy is good at his job.

Just stuff me full of popcorn kernels and light me up!

Does anyone else smell bacon?

$2500 and done! They pick you up and put you in the ground in your personal jug!

Sort of like a Genie in a bottle!!!!

Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

I want my remains scattered over Mar-A-Lardo.

I DON’T want to be cremated.

Cremated? Burning? Smoke? Climate acteevists will kills ya.

Depends on if you want a viewing , also if you want to be interred or put into a niche!

I knew some folks who loved their booze, if cremated they would burn for a week!

‘We can burn her, we can bury her, or we can dump her…’

By the way, that dust on your shelves and all over the house…

After I’m cremated, put my remains (cremains?) in an urn engraved “Kiss My Ash”

Pig expressed anger. That’s rare!

What an ash!

All natural for me … on the White House lawn.

Cremation. The secret ingredient in Al’s Bundy Burger.

Ashes to ashes dust to dust come to my door kill you i must

Soylent Green anyone?

Don’t get all hot, Rat.

My plan is to donate any useful organs I may have left (minus the eyes) and cremate the rest. Use the ashes to fertilize a tree or coral reef or something like that. Burials are such a ridiculous waste of money, real estate and wood.

Cremation is the only way to be sure you don’t come back as a zombie or a vampire. Better safe than sorry. Those darn undead can be a real nuisance.

ashes to ashes

Pig’s kind usually meet their demise in a butcher shop, a smokehouse or in the jaws of a predator.

I want a green burial — untreated pine box, no formaldehyde, just worm food. My cemetery insists on a concrete vault to hold the coffin and pickling me to poison the soil.

Hope I live long enough to change their minds.

Just kick his ash and get it over with.

At least have the decency to wait until he’s dead.

hm

A little hot under the collar, eh, Pig?

Getting scorched by puns?

That pun was fire.

I love how he always draws himself with a sort of deadpan deer-in-the-headlights look.

There’s a pun buried in there somewhere.

Pig should be recording his show while he answers the door, so he won’t miss anything. Technology is great.

Burning Man!

Pastis knows how to put the fun

in funeral

hmm… roast pork.

Raat!

That was a stretch for a pretty lame gag…even by Pastis standards.

It has seemed strange to me that in some countries (like the U.S.) it is not legal to simply dig a hole, put the body in it, and cover it up. It has to be in some kind of box. And that box is often not very biodegradable. Seriously?

Humans are strange and unreasoning creatures. Return the body to the earth, and let the planet benefit from it.

Stephan is on fire.

Rat would call up a crematorium and ask, “What’s cooking?”

I don’t need cremation services. I’m not dead, yet.

At some point during a cremation, the meat is perfectly cooked.

So Pig, how do you want to be cremated? Kansas City, Carolina or Lexington style?

Come back later. MUCH later.

Hope this is still a joke, since I love this comic

We’re in our 70’s. Once a month we get a letter from the Neptune Society. It’s like being circled by buzzards.

Composting is the wave of the future.

…but cremation is pig’s last chance to have a smokin hot body!!…other than at a BBQ.

hmm…pig isn’t in the 4th panel…so, did he really burn up then??

Mr Pastis, the Wise A** has recomended a traditional Tibetan sky burial for you after you pass. The Rat however, says there is no time like the present.

I’ll bring marshmallows… :D

Human composting, supposedly a green way to dispose of the body, is now legal in about 8 or 9 states. Just dump the body in a barrel with the dirt and composting medium, turn the barrel every few days, and in a month or so, just add the new fertilizer to the garden. Your family can eat veg that have absorbed you.

I think I would prefer pig smoked. Especially the bacon.

Or do what I’m planning: donate my body to science and let them cremate me when they’re done…

“My grandfather slept with the rest of our family. But he died so they made him get up”

GRACIE ALLEN

It’s traditional. Pigs pass by spit-roast.