Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 02, 2024

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    carlsonbob  4 months ago

    If a guy like that shows up on our porch, he’ll learn the my .22 will negate that thing he’s carrying. He may learn it in the after-life though.

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    leopardglily  4 months ago

    Hey, free bodyguard. Maybe use the backdoor for a bit.

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    Bilan  4 months ago

    What happened to Guard Duck !?!?

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    BasilBruce  4 months ago

    Is he from Pittsburgh?

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    MichaelAxelFleming  4 months ago

    Plank you very much.

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    jonnytest  4 months ago

    Never bring a blade to a gunfight.

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    A_Ron Mozilla  4 months ago

    I’d ask his going rate for stabbing people who take other’s packages from porches… but that’s just me.

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    cracker65  4 months ago

    Maybe he can stab the thiefs.

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    MayCauseBurns  4 months ago

    I don’t get mad; I get stabby.

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    Doug K  4 months ago

    … and he says, “Aye.” and “Arrr.” a lot.

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    iggyman  4 months ago

    Is Larry the croc after him? (tick,tick)!

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    markkahler52  4 months ago

    The porch pirate stole the gun I’d ordered….

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    donlackie  4 months ago

    Stabbing on the porch? It’s OJ!!!

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    Ellis97  4 months ago

    Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of ho hum.

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    The Orange Mailman  4 months ago

    I count 12 Rs in the dialogue.

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    Gent  4 months ago

    He just stab peoples? In that case he a terrorist.

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    markyakes Premium Member 4 months ago

    When I was young, we couldn’t afford a dog, my parents made me walk the plank…

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    chris_o42  4 months ago

    Where’s Guard Duck? He’d make the pirate walk the plank—any plank available!

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    SquidGamerGal  4 months ago

    Does anyone know a curvy half-genie hero?

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    RobinHood  4 months ago

    How’d ya get the eyepatch? First day with the hook.

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    walstib Premium Member 4 months ago

    Looks like a hooker to me.

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    Snolep  4 months ago

    Kids on Halloween beware. Or anyone you don’t recognize. Shoot first, ask questions later. It’s the American way.

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    mindjob  4 months ago

    That’s a relief. I thought he slit people’s gullets

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    wongo  4 months ago

    Arrrr!

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    Kurtass Premium Member 4 months ago

    Argh.

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    elbow macaroni  4 months ago

    Stabbing people. A real laugh riot.

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    HOTLOTUS1  4 months ago

    a gun won’t do any good when you’re watching them on the ring cam

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    DaBump Premium Member 4 months ago

    And he says “Arrrrr,” a lot — it’s so annoying.

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    Queen of America  4 months ago

    Pirate McStabby, at your service .

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    Linguist  4 months ago

    ’Tis a pirate after me own heart!

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    Croc Holliday  4 months ago

    I am the very model of a modern major general…………..

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    marilynnbyerly  4 months ago

    Considering some of the weird crap and critters posted online from Ring cameras, that’s not the weirdest or most dangerous thing I’ve seen.

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    pheets  4 months ago

    So far, theft from my porch has not been an issue. Most deliveries go to the garage anyway. In the event of an unwanted “guest”, those that need to know that my dogs are loose in the house already know. The rest, 50/50. Read the beware of large dogs signs and take your best shot, if you must : )

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    oish  4 months ago

    Looks like Russfert T Diggins from the “Drunk and on Drugs Happy Funtime Hour” show

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    Goat from PBS  4 months ago

    No, a literal porch pirate. I love literal jokes.

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    Cary Rodda Premium Member 4 months ago

    I refuse to use the term Porch Pirate. Too cutesy. I just call them thieves.

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    stringer831  4 months ago

    “My hand, it is a hook I cannot even clap. I often stab myself when I go to wipe my crap.It sucks to be a pirate”.——“It Sucks to be a Pirate” by the Dandy Pirates.

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    mail2jbl  4 months ago

    Where’s Guard Duck? Wasn’t he taking care of package thieves just last week?

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    pchemcat  4 months ago

    I want that porch pirate!

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    Doctor Go  4 months ago

    Arrrrrrrrr…

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    JoeMartinFan Premium Member 4 months ago

    A porch pirate to keep porch pirates away…hmmm…

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    Buoy  4 months ago

    Fighting pirates with pirates, I like it!

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    greenlynn Premium Member 4 months ago

    No ARRRGUMENT from me. He can stay there.

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    unfair.de  4 months ago

    No match for Guard Duck. Why is he even still there?

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    eddi-TBH  4 months ago

    Hoist the colors and set sail for adventure, The Crimson Permanent Assurance Company hauls anchor right after tea!

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    Chalres  4 months ago

    It’s the Knifeketeer!

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    Strawberry King  4 months ago

    Well, I’ll be…

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    alantain  4 months ago

    Where was guard duck when this guy showed up?

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