Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 06, 2024

  1. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  2 months ago

    That’s it, keep on nursing that joke.

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    iggyman  2 months ago

    Have you ever considered a job in a lab, Rat?

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    The dude from FL  Premium Member 2 months ago

    So rat is republican

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    Yakety Sax  2 months ago

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 22

    A father and his young son are at the checkout. The little boy is tugging at his dad’s shirt while he’s buying something at the self-checkout.

    Son: “Dad, I’m gonna be sick.”

    Dad: “Hold it in until we’re outside! I’m getting you medicine.”

    Within seconds, the boy turns to the side and proceeds to puke a significant amount on the next self-checkout over… and all over the customer using it.

    Dad: “S***! I’m so sorry! S***!”

    I come rushing over to check the situation and reassure the customer we will get some cleaning supplies over ASAP.

    The other customer just calmly opens her bag and starts removing her own cleaning supplies. She even has some of those gloves you see at the hospital and deftly applies them with professional precision.

    Other Customer: “It’s fine. It’s just a bit of vomit.” To the dad. “You, what medicines are you buying for your son?”

    The dad, still a little shocked at what’s just happened, shows this customer his medicines. The other customer nods approvingly and gives some advice on how to take them without causing any more mess. She then starts cleaning herself.

    Dad: “Please, let me help! I am so sorry—”

    Other Customer: “It’s fine. It’s easier if I do this myself. You just get your boy home and rested.”

    I have started cleaning the area and the other customer shares a small smile with me.

    Me: “Thank you for remaining so calm. Most people would not have reacted like that if a child was sick on them.”

    Other Customer: “Honey, I’m a nurse on my way home from a double shift. This isn’t even the top three most disgusting things I’ve had on me tonight.”

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    SameAsOldFfred  2 months ago

    Rat’s a member of the Taliban?

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    hariseldon59  2 months ago

    This is a pretty old riddle. I think I first heard it at least 40 years ago.

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    c001  2 months ago

    I heard something interesting on that topic on a TV show. Someone said to a few others: “I’ll show you what racism is. Here’s a joke: What do you call a black woman operating an aircraft?” — A few moments of silence, then one of the others said: “A Pilot.” The first one said: “Right. And the time you took to come up with that, that’s racism.”

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    eromlig  2 months ago

    Q: Why don’t women have brains?

    A: They don’t have scrota (plural) to keep them in.

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    Gent  2 months ago

    So why no operate if own son? Is there rule that doc should not operate on theirs own cheeldrens?

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    John Smith  2 months ago

    Pastis must be rerunning strips from 30 years ago.

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    einarbt  2 months ago

    The way the US empire is going towards a theocracy (ala Iran and Afghanistan) Christian style, Rat may well be predicting the future here.

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    Purple People Eater  2 months ago

    Someone has the same mother as me, and the same father as me, but it isn’t my brother and it isn’t my sister. Who is it?

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    singram6707 Premium Member 2 months ago

    or…they could be a gay couple and that’s his other Dad

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    win.45mag  2 months ago

    The real joke here is that someone misdiagnosed the dad. He was only knocked out cold, came to when placed on that ice cold gurney, saw his son needed help, and jumped up to operate mere minutes after suffering a major concussion. Later, he received a nomination for surgeon of the year.

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    Doug K  2 months ago

    So she really can’t operate because she’s not really a surgeon.

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    wombat1417  2 months ago

    They did this on “All in the Family”. Edith was the one who figured it out.

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    skildude  2 months ago

    She’s the great wife, Hope. I say let her.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member 2 months ago

    FL man who is somehow a doctor was supposed to remove a spleen and removed the guy’s liver instead. My doctor is a woman and I’m sure she knows the difference.

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    sarbez423 Premium Member 2 months ago

    I was a nurse before I became a doctor. I joked I could give myself orders.

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    Slowly, he turned...  2 months ago

    I was waiting for Rat to say she could still be a nurse.

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    SquidGamerGal  2 months ago

    Rat… Do us a favor and play with a mousetrap.

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    david_42  2 months ago

    All of the medical professionals at the clinic we use are female, ODs, PAs, RNs, all of them.

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    Steverino Premium Member 2 months ago

    I had a TAVR done by a female doctor. Best in the business.

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    Goat from PBS  2 months ago

    I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman delivering the surgery, just so long as they know how to do it well.

    I hope most people can agree on that…

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 2 months ago

    Because, Dear Brother Rat, in today’s WOKE society it identifies as a man and changed its name to Helmuth.

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    mindjob  2 months ago

    After the anesthetic hits, you never see the surgeon

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    elbow macaroni  2 months ago

    Maybe funny 30 years ago.

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    mfrasca  2 months ago

    AND she has cats. /s

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    stringer831  2 months ago

    When the US entered World War I, surgeons Maude Kelly and Alice Tallent were willing to leave their practice behind and join the American army, with hopes to be sent to Europe.They went to their local army recruiting station and were turned down-mostly because they were women, and the army had a very strict policy regarding female physicians.A woman doctor could serve in the army, but not in a foreign country. They could serve as nurses, but—Heaven forfend!—not as physicians, certainly not as surgeons.But they were determined. Dr. Tallent (and if you needed surgery, wouldn’t you feel better knowing “Doctor Tallent” was in charge?), was a graduate of Smith College, and Smith’s Alumni Association was putting together what became known as the Smith College Relief Unit—19 women, all “fit, over 25, fluent in French, and able to drive motors”. Their skills ranged from shoe repair to surgery, and France was happy to get any help it could.The surgeons worked in some of the worst conditions of “modern” warfare.Miraculously, all 19 members survived the war. Drs. Kelly and Tallent were given the honorary rank of major in the French army, and awarded the Croix de Guerre, one of France’s highest military honors. All before American women were even allowed to vote.

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    Snoopy Copter  2 months ago

    What else would you expect from rat?

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    asmbeers  2 months ago

    I am waiting for a remake of The Fugitive where Disney casts Dr Kimble as a woman.

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    rugeirn  2 months ago

    I’ll fess up. It got me.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  2 months ago

    I don’t get it. I have been operated on by women all my life.

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    Timothy Madigan Premium Member 2 months ago

    Maybe she just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express?

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    Radish the wordsmith  2 months ago

    Sexist Rat must be a republican bro.

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    Cozmik Cowboy  2 months ago

    When I was in 7th grade (‘68-’69), the teacher asked what everyone wanted to be when we grew up. One girl said “doctor”.

    Answers the (female) teacher: “Oh, no, dear – you mean nurse; boys are doctors, girls are nurses!”

    Fast forward almost 30 years; I’m sick and call for an appointment at our union’s clinic. The nice lady who answered the phone said 3 weeks. I (being sick) expressed dismay, and inquired if there was nothing sooner.

    “No. (read this part in a dismissive tone) Unless you want to see a (switch to withering disdain) woman doctor.”

    “Why the &$^* _wouldn’t I?? Make the #@%! appointment!” Saw her the next day – and requested her after that, then followed her to another practice.

    So it’s not just guys conditioned to Rat’s stupidity.

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    Ellis97  2 months ago

    Sounds like the plot of some generic daytime drama.

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    elgrecousa Premium Member 2 months ago

    This strip started nicely then went downhill. Why do we have to be hit over the head with a two-four even in cartoons?

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    Quixotic1  2 months ago

    Female surgeons routinely have better outcomes.

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    SheMc  2 months ago

    We all live in hope Pig !

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    Chalres  2 months ago

    Hm; where’s that comic from the past few weeks – same setup, ended with someone declaring it was “ghost dad” who was about to operate.

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    KEA  2 months ago

    Is “male superiority” all down to religious nonsense ?

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    DaBump Premium Member 2 months ago

    What a twist!

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    rspancomics  2 months ago

    Duh, the person operating is his other dad. That’s designed to show bias against gay marriage.

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    zeexenon  2 months ago

    As a 1970s survivor, I admit to laughing a coworker’s summation of, “Women’s Lip.” We worked for a company who hired women for all kinds of work, most called, “Operators.”

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    paul brians  2 months ago

    My barber told me this one in about 1956.

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    ncorgbl  2 months ago

    Bigotry, racism, misogyny, any bias is solely based in ignorance. If your life is in jeopardy you likely don’t care what gender, color, nationality or persuasion the person who could save you is. If you are not in any danger and have any prejudices about gender, color, nationality or persuasion you are ignorant.

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    braindead Premium Member 2 months ago

    JD Vance, or whatever his name is, approves this message.

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    JPuzzleWhiz  2 months ago

    I’d like to know where in the world, outside of this comic strip, it is written that women cannot be surgeons?

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    pig1  2 months ago

    told this to my mom, who is a surgeon, she loved it!

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  2 months ago

    Florence Nightingale wants to have a word with Rat

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    Maswartz  2 months ago

    Goat, why do you keep talking to Rat?

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    sisterea  2 months ago

    Be well aware there are organizations of rich powerful men in this country that believe exactly what Rat said. They advocate denying women the right to go to medical school and law school and other professions. They also advocate denying women the right to vote. Educate yourself on which party they support and perhaps consider casting your vote otherwise.

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    eddi-TBH  2 months ago

    Too bad Rat sounds so normal this time.

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member 2 months ago

    I heard this riddle on an episode of “All in the Family”

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    Cerabooge  2 months ago

    I went to the internet in search of a woman surgeon I’d read about, who was known for cutting as little as possible, vs the great gashes that were so common at the time. Instead, I ran across a tribute to a man who pioneered endoscopy and laparoscopic surgery, thereby bringing minimally invasive surgery to the mainstream; George Berci, MD. Cedars Sinai wrote a tribute to him upon his recent death – at the age of 103. Amazing man.

    But I still prefer a woman doctor.

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  2 months ago

    I’ve heard that riddle before. Rat as usual missed the point by a country mile.

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    lanainutahdesert  2 months ago

    I remember when I first heard that: It was about 1962, I was eleven, and my father presented the same question to we children as we sat at the table having dinner. We didn’t get it in 1962. I wonder how many would get it today as we seem to be going back to the 17th century in the country.

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