Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 09, 2024

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    ronaldspence  27 days ago

    seems no one is ever in my hurry!

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    BasilBruce  27 days ago

    They’re looking for an escalator so they can walk on it!

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    sirbadger  27 days ago

    Wise A sits around doing nothing.

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    Concretionist  27 days ago

    I always figure they’re running short of bladder space.

    Or mental space. I have been tailgated by more than one driver who responded unthinkingly to me slowing down by simply staying (too darn close) behind me until I came to a complete stop on the side of the road. THEN they woke up and drove past me.

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    Kitty Queen  27 days ago

    Tailgating = hemorrhoid

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    Bilan  27 days ago

    Because sitting around on the freeway and doing nothing is not good.

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    Kiba65  27 days ago

    Put a normal person behind the steering wheel and watch that person change without a full moon!!!!

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    Gent  27 days ago

    Well Rat that because them tailgators is just donkeyholes.

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    iggyman  27 days ago

    They are in a hurry to go nowhere!

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    GeorgeInAZ  27 days ago

    The people who just sit around may not be the same people who drive too closely behind slower drivers.

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    orinoco womble  27 days ago

    It’s worse to get stuck behind a “careful” (slow) driver, and when you try to pass they speed up.

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    Zykoic  27 days ago

    We live on a street posted at 25 mph speed limit. Pretty much a joke.

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    unfair.de  27 days ago

    I would picture Rat as the tailgating one. With that character behind a wheel there must be road rage.

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    badeckman  27 days ago

    So many important people, with important things to do, important calls to make, and important places to go.

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    warhorse_03826  27 days ago

    people who stare at a tiny screen all day do not have the best depth perception.

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    dadlivonia  27 days ago

    stay out of the left lane or keep up with the flow of traffic.

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    donlackie  27 days ago

    Traffic is full of people trying to win a competition against other people who do not know they are competing.

    But I guess folks gotta take their wins where they can get them

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    Lenavid  27 days ago

    “Rushing on their way to their busy dying day…” They have to hurry home to take their “Mother’s Little Helper” so they can sit and be more receptive to their programming from the Boob Tube.

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    happyinvenice23  27 days ago

    I notice a lot of driver’s racing to the next red light 2 blocks away.

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    Egrayjames  27 days ago

    It amazes me how people will speed up to get behind you and yet not want to pass when they have the chance. I like to set my own speed, just above the limit, and move along. I hate having someone get behind me only to ’’shadow’’ my speed with no intentions of passing.

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    The Fly Hunter  27 days ago

    They’re in a hurry to get behind the next car. They’ve got lots of tailgating that needs to be done.

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    silberdistel  27 days ago

    Der Radwechsel, Bertolt Brecht

    Ich sitze am Straßenhang. Der Fahrer wechselt das Rad. Ich bin nicht gern, wo ich herkomme. Ich bin nicht gern, wo ich hinfahre. Warum sehe ich den Radwechsel mit Ungeduld?

    I’m sitting on the side of the road. The driver changes bikes. I don’t like where I’m coming from. I don’t like being where I’m going. Why do I watch the wheel changewith impatience?

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    Kurtass Premium Member 27 days ago

    Mr/Mrs tailgator, you riding my butt isn’t going to make the cars in front of me go faster.

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    Procat Premium Member 27 days ago

    In northern Wisconsin they drive close behind you, so when the deer jump out, you hit them instead of the person following you. If you slow down, they also slow down

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    minty_Joe  27 days ago

    I think George Carlin said it best; something along the lines of ‘people driving in front of you are dumb and those driving behind you are crazy’.

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 27 days ago

    Tailgating at a Bengals game is a lot more fun. And The Count does not drink, btw. Note: The Count has seen Steeler fans so drunk they were carried in to the games.

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    Ellis97  27 days ago

    Does that donkey ever come down from his hill?

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    LongWong  27 days ago

    Hey, Rat. Rats shouldn’t be driving!

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    Ignatz Premium Member 27 days ago

    They’ve decided that it’s worth shortening their life to save 30 seconds.

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    bxclent  Premium Member 27 days ago

    go around MF go around :) folks can pass me all day long

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    RobinHood  27 days ago

    A valid question

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    ManiacEx  27 days ago

    I have to admit, based on Rat’s question I thought he was about to make a snarky comment about the Great Wise Donkey himself.

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    rshive  27 days ago

    Some answers are very complicated.

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    Chris  27 days ago

    maybe to do nothing sooner would be my guess. :j

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    uniquename  27 days ago

    I pull over and let them go by. I’ve decided that nothing I do will change their behavior and I’d rather be safe.

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    wongo  27 days ago

    The hill gets steeper with panel until it’s almost vertical in the last one?

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    Goat from PBS  27 days ago

    Hey, doing nothing needs all the time in the world.

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    Steverino Premium Member 27 days ago

    It’s obvious. They are in a hurry to sit around and do nothing.

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    DaBump Premium Member 27 days ago

    What’s really bad is that, after tailgating you for some time while there is a clear lane on both sides of you, they honk and zoom past (sometimes on the right) while giving you the finger, like you’ve done something terrible by driving right at the speed limit (or just a little faster).

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    ckeller  27 days ago

    In a hurry to be at their destination. No one actually WANTS to be in their car. Why are you driving so slow?

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    Tired  27 days ago

    They are in a hurry to get to their own funeral and maybe take other people with them.

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    royq27  27 days ago

    Good question, however the GWA sits around all day…

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    oish  27 days ago

    Todd Rundgren once did the song “Emperor of the Highway” which contains all the answers to that which you seek

    Youtube : 5IJUACu1LdA

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    Kilrwat Premium Member 27 days ago

    And why don’t they just )(&%#_! go around you?

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    Dis-play name  27 days ago

    Their jobs pay by the hour, not the productivity.

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    Snolep  27 days ago

    On a road to nowhere. Just a bunch of Talking Heads.

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    smartty cat  27 days ago

    To yack on the phone but heck they do that driving the car. They probably do that at work. Heck, try and teach bunch of 7th graders wanting to yap as well. “Oh, the sounds of silence…People talking without speakingPeople hearing without listeningPeople writing songs that voices never sharedAnd no one daredDisturb the sound of silence”

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    Yesim2don2  27 days ago

    If there is a line of cars behind you, and clear road in front of you, you’re the problem.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member 27 days ago

    Here’s a mathematical proof of why the only kinds of drivers you encounter on the open road are either jerks or ässholes. We begin with definitions:

    (a) A sane driver is anyone like you, who drives at exactly the right speed.

    (b) A jerk is anyone who goes slower than that.

    © An ässhole is anyone who goes faster.

    Since the other sane drivers are going just as fast as you are, you will never overtake them, and they will never overtake you. However, you’re guaranteed to eventually catch up to those dawdly jerks ahead of you, and those impatient ässholes in back will always end up tailgating you. Therefore it’s simple logic that the only other drivers you encounter will always be either jerks or ässholes. QED.

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    Spiny Norman Premium Member 27 days ago

    “I can’t drive 55”

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    Spiny Norman Premium Member 27 days ago

    Or 65 for that matter .

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    Count Olaf Premium Member 27 days ago

    Get out of Florida

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    sschardi  27 days ago

    I always wonder what kind of jobs they have that they want to get to so fast. I never wanted to get work that much.

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    Buoy  27 days ago

    Most of the time people are distracting themselves. When they don’t have a distraction, they remember how miserable they are.

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    John Jorgensen  27 days ago

    Just because you sit around doing nothing doesn’t mean your time isn’t precious. Idle moments are often something to be cherished.

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    zeexenon  27 days ago

    Ergo, make every effort to box them in so they miss their exit.

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    christelisbetty  27 days ago

    Weavers are the worse.

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    ArcticFox Premium Member 27 days ago

    Be a$$holes.

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    [Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce]  27 days ago

    If you can read this, my sticker says "YOU ARe a moron’

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    wildlandwaters  27 days ago

    just gotta luv it when you’re in a line of cars and there’s nothing anybody can do, and the bozo behind ya has to ride your tail… as if that’ll get things moving any faster… (too bad there’s no pill for that!)

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    willie_mctell  27 days ago

    Driving is a competition for a lot of people. When I was a kid I read an interview with Stirling Moss, one of the greatest grand prix drivers of the ’50s. He said that he thought driving on the street was more dangerous than driving in a race because in a race he knew that the drivers were all skilled and their actions were predictable.

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    bigger Nate  27 days ago

    Maybe going the speed limit possibly

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    Ina Tizzy  27 days ago

    Great Wise Donkey seems to be one of them.

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    rayloholdridge  27 days ago

    My dad used to say, “That guy’s in a big hurry to get some place and sit down.”

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    markkahler52  27 days ago

    Wiseass: “No comment…”

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    einarbt  27 days ago

    A word from the a$$ might help Rat more than a word from the a$$. If you know what I mean.

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    froggie818  26 days ago

    You’re asking the wrong question, Rat!The real question is “Why are all these people with nowhere to be driving IN FRONT of me on the highway??”

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    Mentor397  17 days ago

    We’re in a hurry to sit and do nothing. Duh.

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    Quincysorous Rex  3 days ago

    poll:do you call it the highway or the freeway?

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