Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 03, 2025

I think Pig’s is more like a skateboard with a wheel missing.

Pig’s car sounds like a Pinto.

Pig is a poet and doesn’t even know it.

I hear you, Pig.

Corvair…..

If there weren’t already a comic called “Depression Comics” that would be the perfect name for PBS.

When you have a lot of money, you get a lot of "needy "friends!

No glass half full for Pig ;(

Pig nice to see you are still taking your Debbie Downer Pills …

Feels like the timing chain is off on mine.

Oh, dear, Pig. We love you.

Awwww, Pig needs a hug. Someone hug him before I do!

Mine needs lane-assist.

Don’t wanna talk to Bob.

Pig, I think you need to get a new car.

How does one afford to do whatever they want, whenever they want?

Poor Pig—Unsafe at any speed!

Pig is always Mr. Sunshine!

If my life is a car, it is a Reliant Robin. If you are English and have seen one, you will be grinning in agreement. If you ever owned a Robin, my commiserations and I hope you were not too severely wounded whenever it rolled over.

Alternative choice, East German Trabant. Body may be rust proof and it was unlikely to roll over, but the tiny, under-powered two-stroke engine guzzled gas like a muscle car and left a cloud of blue smoke behind. At least it had the virtue of almost never running.

Pig’s car is a Yugo…

…And the check engine light won’t go off…

Today’s “F Minus” has the perfect solution.

Lucky, when the gas tank exploded, he walked away in slow motion with a smug look on his face

I’m busted, and I know my car won’t start…

At least the brakes work. Safety first!

Not sure about my life as a whole, but my actual car has snow on it this morning.

i loved my Pinto too. small, nimble, good on gas and i beat the heck out of it. kinda wish they would remake it but you know, better

Pig is wallowing in bad luck. Otherwise he’d have no luck at all.

Pig’s life is so interesting — it’s filled with challenges.

Hard for a car with 4 flats to roll ANYWHERE !

Pig, you and me both, bro.

how’s the car stereo?

Must be before California added guard rails to their curved mountain roads.

It’d be so nice to live a life where you could light your car on fire and send it down a being able to walk and bike everywhere. But, i work too far from home and still need to drive to get there. :(

You can extend a metaphor too far.

Hang in there, Pig. My life was close to being a wreck in a couple ways, at least by standard measures and maybe a couple others, but I’m very happy with where I’m at now.

not funny, but true, when some of us get too old a doctor asks the dmv to take away our driver’s license, whereupon we can’t get back to doctors anymore # boo hoo

ps: so far today’s strip has 100 comments and nearly 300 likes

My account is overdrawn, my car slid down the hillI’m givin’ up, I’ve got no more to giveMy beagle bit the vet, and my daughter’s on the pillAnd my fiscus plant has lost its will to live

I owe Master Charge my life, I’ve got adolescent skinMy doctor says I can’t use any saltMy waist is getting thick, but my hair is getting thinAnd my house is on the San Andreas Fault

I need your help, Barry ManilowI’m miserable and I don’t know what to doSing me a song, sing it sad and lowNo one knows how to suffer quite like you

My shrink is out of town, my love life is a jokeMy ex-wife sold my diary to RonaAll my ashtrays are overflowed, and I don’t even smokeAnd my sinuses came back from Arizona

Hello, Mandy? It’s meI’m here at the CopaYou know, the CopacabanaI know I don’t write the songs that make the whole world sing butI do know one thing, MandyI can’t smile without youForget LolaRemember that weekend in New England?I thought then that This could be the magic at lastNow here I amTryin’ to get the feelin’ again

I need your help, Barry ManilowI’m all alone and sitting on a shelfSing me a song, sing it sad and lowI feel like feeling sorry for myself

I need your help, Barry ManilowYour songs can really comfort the unluckySing me a song, sing it sad and lowI wish I didn’t have to feel so yuckyI wish I didn’t have to feelSo yucky

Pig’s live reminds me of the Ray Stevens spoof of Barry Manilow (the voice, the lyrics and even the key change for the last chorus, and the kettle drums before the 1st “so yucky”)

My account is overdrawn, my car slid down the hillI’m givin’ up, I’ve got no more to giveMy beagle bit the vet, and my daughter’s on the pillAnd my fiscus plant has lost its will to live

I owe Master Charge my life, I’ve got adolescent skinMy doctor says I can’t use any saltMy waist is getting thick, but my hair is getting thinAnd my house is on the San Andreas Fault

I need your help, Barry ManilowI’m miserable and I don’t know what to doSing me a song, sing it sad and lowNo one knows how to suffer quite like you

My shrink is out of town, my love life is a jokeMy ex-wife sold my diary to RonaAll my ashtrays are overflowed, and I don’t even smokeAnd my sinuses came back from Arizona

Hello, Mandy? It’s meI’m here at the CopaYou know, the CopacabanaI know I don’t write the songs that make the whole world sing butI do know one thing, Mandy I can’t smile without you Forget Lola Remember that weekend in New England? I thought then that This could be the magic at last Now here I am Tryin’ to get the feelin’ again

I need your help, Barry Manilow I’m all alone and sitting on a shelf Sing me a song, sing it sad and low I feel like feeling sorry for myself

I need your help, Barry Manilow Your songs can really comfort the unlucky Sing me a song, sing it sad and low I wish I didn’t have to feel so yucky I wish I didn’t have to feel So yucky

And driven by Toonces.

If life is just a highway,Then the soul is just a car,And objects in the rear view mirror,May appear closer than they are. —Meat Loaf

How can his car be rolling down hill when it is placed on four cinder blocks?

“Dashing through da snow,

In my rusty Chevrolet,

Down the roads I go,

Sliding all the way.

I need new piston rings,

I need some new snow tires,

My car is held together

With a piece of chicken wire.

Oh, rust and smoke,

The heater’s broke,

The door just flew away,

I light a match to see the dash,

And then I start to pray.

The frame is bent,

The muffler went,

The radio, it’s okay,

Oh, what fun it is to drive

This rusty Chevrolet."

“The muffler fell off and all the old fast food fries under the seats have fomented a revolution.”

The Tariff Fairy is going to fix all that.

My doc said that I’m like a car that looks good on the outside, but the transmission is going out. Osteoarthritis.

at least it’s not a Tesla that caught on fire!… (that’s actually a good metaphor for it’s creator… lol!)

My car is fine. But I’m sitting in it thinking I’ll get gas for it tomorrow.

A short life but a merry one.

Pig’s car started as lemon and only got worse.

If I inherited a ton of money, I would make sure no one around me was in need. I would only hang with other rich guys.

I would say just let it go and get the insurance $$

If Pig’s life were a car, it would be a Ford Pinto.

Hey Pig, I see you borrowed my car?

Yet, the nut behind the wheel is still in place.