Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 06, 2020

They’ve got an ape for that.

Working on the next caucus contract.

Naw. The great apes aren’t stupid enough for Twitter. Emus may be the stupidest animals on Earth but they can’t type. That leaves people.

wonder who is aping who?

I’m pretty sure apes are a lot more polite than people. It would be pretty hard to be less…

If you happen to know the password to Trump’s twitter account, tell them that. Judging from what he posts, they have probably already hacked into his account.

The fact that she doesn’t believe it means she actually is doubting it…

I would give it to them faster than it takes Trump to tell his next lie.

Maybe this is how the Orange-utan got started.

Just to say there’s apes written on the sign, that include humans too.

So that’s what happened to my donated iPhone 5c.

The one on the tire just Twittered “covfefe”.

I’m not even on Twitter, and this made me Laugh!

The joke is on the zoo. The cage is within range of the free Wi-Fi from the McDonald’s next door.

Oh, they’re just watching cat videos – no harm, no foul.

There are a million monkeys at a million keyboards, but Twitter looks NOTHING like Hamlet.

But if one of these guys is secretly Andy Serkis …..

Over the years, some have speculated on the likelihood that human hands would morph into other shapes and maybe lose the thumb. I guess that went out the window when thumbs became the main tool for operating cell phones. Probably the left fingers will meld into a holding device for phones while the right thumb keeps working, the first finger becomes the pointer/swiping device, and the other three turn into brackets.

Why fling poo when you can tweet poo emojis?

I had just finished Navy ‘boot-camp’, San Diego 1968 (dating myself, a bit). My friend Bucky and I went to the zoo, our first day free in 10 weeks, first day in our Navy whites. Got as far as the orangutans, big crowd of people, lots of laughing and cheering. In spite of a large ‘Do not feed’ sign, complete with dietary explanation, one idiot had taken it into his tiny brain to toss a peanut across the divide. The grand old man, the father orangutan, chased it down, looked at it, and threw it back. Side-armed, left-handed, I swear. Buck and I in our whites off to the side, watching. Apparently this had been going on for a few minutes, judging from the cheering. Guy throws peanut, old orangutan throws it back. Guy throws it wild, behind some boulders, Bucky and I try not to laugh as we watch the old dude crap a peanut-sized turd into his hand. Walks back to the edge of the divide, staring intently at the dumb guy. Throws it. Guy catches it, realizes, drops it, horrified, screaming, “ He sh*t! He sh*t! “ No one laughed harder than the orangutan family, believe me. Father, mother, and young one literally laughing as this party of ‘humans’ broke up. At my feet, I noticed an old, small bolt and nut in the dirt. Picked it up, showed Bucky, thought about it and threw it over to the old dude. He grabbed it, looked at it, kept it away from his wife and kid, and disappeared into his cave. We waited a while, but they didn’t reappear. The next Saturday, in our whites, we were back. He saw us, looked right at us, went and got the bolt. Looking at us the whole time, he unscrewed it, screwed it back together, bit it, shows us where he had figured out to screw it into a crack in their tree stump, unscrewed it and threw it back. Bucky caught it, dropped it back in the dirt, we eventually wandered off. No laughing, just wonder.

Only birds should Tweet.

The vast wasteland that is the internet.

Don’t expose them to a 2001 Monolith, either…

Is there an orange orangutan in there?

I would turn on my mobile hot spot, give them the password to that, then slowly walk away.

This would explain Trumps fascination with twitter!

What difference would that make? Perhaps increasing the intelligent content?

We share a! lot of DNA with them.

I thought the big apes were better than this. Sigh.

The apes look very busy.

One of them might run for elected office!

If an infinite number of monkeys tried, they’d come up with it sooner or later …

The Orangutan keeps sending death threats to Hair Gropenfuhrer and the Secret Service is getting annoyed.

I thought the person who invented twitter got the idea when he saw a monkey poop into it’s hand and fling it.

Maybe how it got started but probably will be how it ends….

How soon before they start tweeting Shakespeare?

Reminds me of the saying “Give 100 monkeys a 100 typewriters and they’ll produce Shakespeare.” Or something to that order.