Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 31, 2016

The poetry of a ribeye is more impressive than what you’re writing.

And now the posters who keep saying “More crocs” will start saying “More cows.”

I think that I shall never chewa grass as lovely with morning dew.

Chick-Fil-A files copyright infringement lawsuit against plagiarizing comic artist.

Every verse will end with “Eat more Chicken”.

Her poetry mooooooooves me.

Idk if that’s gonna help ..uhmmm…Mr.cow…Better if you just hide. ;|

Literally :|

A star is born.

Udderly amazing puns to follow…

Jersey verse-y.

More cowbell, please.

Maybe the cow would do better at haiku…

More cowbell, please……………..got to keep the skit going…..

I had a flank steak last night. It was delicious.

Not good enough-I’ll have mine medium rare!

If there was a cow next to them, why didn’t Rat say anything?

It is so stupid, it is really funny.

If cows wrote political speeches or jokes for Colbert we might not eat them, but nobody reads poetry. Bad luck for cows.

… asks a talking zebra of a rat, who spends many days at a computer composing fiction stories.

Pastis will milk this for all it’s worth.

DISTANT HILLSby A Far Side Cow

The distant hills call to me.Their rolling waves seduce my heart.Oh, how I want to graze in their lush valleys.Oh, how I want to run down their green slopes.Alas, I cannot.Damn the electric fence!Damn the electric fence!

CREDIT: Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Wait until he meets 2 Cows and a Chicken

Holy cows are found only in the lines of poetry. Others can be shot or eaten or turned into a jacket.

This poetic cow could be another Roberta Frostbite…or Carla Sandbag!

Why would you spare a cow because it can write poetry??Maybe, and it’s a huge maybe, if it can write a decent novel. Poetry is crap. In fact, who needs poets???

Shakespeare it’s not.

to moo or not to moo that is the udder question…

Not good enough. I’ve herd all these puns before.

“Eat Mor Chikin”

Worked for Charlotte’s Web, though it was the spider who was being creative.

I wonder if Vogans started the same way…

Steph is a real cowpoke.

I’ve never seen a purple cowI’ve never tried to eat one…

Question for the day: What is the singular of the word, “cattle?” Hint: It is not “cow” which can refer to a number of herd animals such as moose (meese?), elephants, etc.

Shhh, baby tuckoo may be reading.

Was it Robert A. Heinlein who said, " Poets who read their own work in public should be staked out on an anthill?"

Utter poetry!

Agree that this is deliriously funny, made me choke on my tea. Now, to add to the cow jokes, see below:*KNOCK KNOCKWho’s there?THE INTERRUPTING COWThe Interru —MOOOOO

Eat more Chikn!

Growing up on a farm and having my pet cow, goat and others slaughtered (don’t ever befriend food it just doesn’t go well and made me a vegetarian for a while) I can assure you they were never shot…their throats were slit to end it as quickly as possible. Shooting costs bullets and can take far longer than slitting the neck. No one wanted the animals to suffer so the fastest it could be over with the better.

I never did it myself, I was too young but I’d go to school and come home to feed my pets and they were missing and I wandered into the building and found my pet goat hanging upside down without skin or a head…boy did I cry.

Hey, maybe we do like the BBQ places do with pigs…the cows who can write poetry get to live and serve as the signboard mascots for the restaurants that are serving their non-literary brethren inside!

Why doesn’t Zebra appear much any more?xxx

Cows won’t be talkinganytime soon.May I suggest theyjump over the moon

Sledgehammer to the forehead pops to mind.

What Cow has written hardly qualifies as poetry. Heck, it barely counts as versification. Bring on the beefsteaks!

(Furtive glance to see if Happy Happy Happy! is around)The cook at the place where I oft spent summers kept rabbits in cages in a space just outside the house. If on coming in after a day’s work I’d see the cage(s) empty, I’d know we were having some version of bunny bits for dinner that evening. And, yes, it does taste like chicken; even looks like chicken, at least in certain parts….

Go vegan. Whatever color of vegan you want to be, be it!

now I’m all hungry

A cow haiku:

A cow without hornsIs in the female subsetWould I steer you wrong?

Let me digest that for a moment.

The cows may wish,That we’d eat fish.Sorry Chief,We like our beef.

Does no one remember Cows With Guns?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

That’s “chikn.”

The last line doesnt scan. Moo moo moo would be better.

Hey Chick-Fil-A called, and they want their cow mascot back Steven. :\

The first Pearls strip I ever read. :D

What about cows that write bad poetry? Does that make them fair game?