Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for March 31, 2022

Diesel is option #2. Raven is a slightly more aggressive #3.

Neither of them has ever been fed from my table, but they live in hope, or at least in curiosity.

Meimei was option 2 all the way. You could not have food around the Pirate Queen. At all.

Cat philosophy: “Your house is my house. My house is my house.”

Jedi, who looked very much like Puck (with four legs and no locket) used approach 3 for cereal milk. “I’m right here, waiting. Don’t forget about me, now.”

Go Elvis!

My girls go the Puck route, though one of them is not so polite.

I love that Lupin is still dingle belling away. And Elvis takes it directly to the kitchen, to lick the pan clean.

Georgia, are you going to update the “our reporters” page? We have had quite a few new additions.

Elvis has a direct pipeline to flavor. He’s in the kitchen while everybody is distracted by the others in the living room.

Lupin is deluding himself; I think his “Light taps” are going to annoy the family.

Goldie needs to be stealthy, more NINJA like. She should have sat there for a bit to give the man the feeling she was just there for cuddle-comfort then POUNCE!

Puck’s sweet, plaintive stare would melt the children. But for the woman and the man, they would have to be finished and have a little something left over for Puck to be given a reward. UNLESS he is working on the Children.

Lupin rear toe beans resting up against the tail of the speech bubble.

Three out of four acceptable ways. But Elvis is on the counter. Naughty!

Neither of the Siamese beg for people food. Amazing. On the otherhand, he begs for his food claiming he is a starving waif, hasn’t eaten in days while having inhaled his food minutes prior. She delicately nibbles when she is hungry.

She-Who-Graciously-Permits-The-Rotation-And-Revolution-Of-The-Earth uses telepathy. She sends the order directly to the minds of Her slaves, and they hasten to obey.

I love that fierce tongue!

Lucy the kitten tries to steal the food off my plate before I even get it set down on the table! You’d think I never fed her! Sheesh!

Cocoa would try to make trades by bringing his toys to us, resulting in little accumulated piles of offerings; Teddy sits and waits as close as possible, occasionally squeaking (or even hrruming) to tell us to hurry up.

Mine aren’t into human food, unless it’s cheese or tuna water. Then it’s twine and whine.

Elvis will be done lickety-split.

These are all tried-and-true, traditional feline responses to desired foods.

That’s right, cats. Pester em simultaneously from all sides at once. And when they is distracted, you steals all their foods. Them greedy gluttonous hyoomans isn’t giving us any of the foods otherwise.

Lupin rear toe beans!

And then there’s always the lioness “group take-down” method.

Meanwhile, our Roy puts on his little hard hat, “Protein inspector ma’am!”

My cat Loki, practices all four methods.

Our inside cats are all of the above; outside cat gets fed when he shows up…too many other critters around to just put food out and leave it (usually noticed when the inside pair get very agitated about being let out on the porch).

Why Hello…Oh! How sweet!! Loaner Cat on the other hand just gets in my lap and does a face plant on the plate. Welp, guess the whole plate is hers then.

Max and Pepper will just straight up steal food. If it’s raw, they’ll go hide; Pepper goes under a table, and Max just finds a wall to stand next to. But cooked food they’ll swipe it off your plate, then sit right there and eat. Except green beans. Those have to be taken to a hiding spot.

Obviously this cartoon is fiction, and has never occurred in real life.

Albert prefers the Puck method.

“Polite Pucky Loaf”

When he was a kitten, Akiro would try to grab from the plate. He often ended hanging off of it by his front claws as I lifted it out of his reach. This approach became problematic as he grew larger – I’m a very short person, so there’s only so far I can lift the plate.

Not sure how the bell affects the light taps. Of course Puck goes for the polite approach. Reminds me of a bacon-stealing incident with a certain cat in Groucho Marx glasses that was definitely not Puck (although he sounds handsome).

Elvis’s strategy is what I do when I see brownies.

Now that you baked it -

Give us any chance we’ll take it

Forget your rule, we’ll break it

We’re gonna make our dreams come true

Eatin’ your filet

Better not try to turn your back now

Paws ahead, no time to slack now

We’re gonna make fish dreams come true

Tapping you all day

There is nothing we won’t try

Lickin’ pans whenever possible

This time you’re not stopping us

We’re gonna take it

On your lap, get set, and grab now

Got a plan, sweet Pucky gabs now

We’re gonna make our dreams come true

And we’ll do it our way yes our way

Make our meal dreams come true

And we’ll do it our way, yes our way

Make all our dreams come true, as cats will do

It’s nothing new

Yeah, check your shoes

- Norman Gimbel / Charles Fox – Making Our Dreams Come True – Cyndi Grecco

Three-quarters of the cats ignore human dinner time. Then there is Hamilton…

Since dinner is just Marie and I, he will sit at the end of the table and watch. Then he will lay down and stretch towards Marie’s spot. His front will remain in place, and the back end will recoil until he is right by her plate, lying on the table and looking adorable. Then the paw will come up…

He will pat Marie’s arm or hand so that she will realize he is there. Then, after a few minutes, he will pat again, all the while looking adorable and showing off his magnificent toe-beans and tummy.

I posted pictures on my Instagram page of Hamilton at dinner. This cat really has us wrapped around his paw.

Hi Orb friends. I left a reply yesterday but it apparently got lost in the ether. Both Sis and I are doing well. She is still recovering from surgery but really coming along. Thank you all for your concern. Boops to all of you.

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Tabith-Isis: Thank you for your applause. Now Serfig-Aro and I would like to perform our grand finale, The Great Pyramid Suite.

Serfig’s Trumpet Ensemble: Blat!

Red Dot Choir: We come tonight to tell you

Of the Great Pyramid of old

Created by King Katfre

Its use was never told!

But with our palace staff

We celebrate the find

Of gold and jewels for arts and crafts

And scrolls of every kind!

Trumpet Ensemble plays fanfare that actually sounds fine

And now we celebrate with new recipes as well

With brand new ingredients

Their sources we can’t tell

And now we present to you

With happiness and glee

The soon Grand Opening

Of the Grand Library!

Light taps, little dings, what happened to the old fashioned Miiiiaaaaooowww!!!

We have photos of Sheba (Mum’s white cat) trying to sneak food off his plate.. LOL! She succeeded once or twice!

My girl Jez typically doesn’t care about my food, but I do remember one “conversation” I had with her:

.

“See, Jez, it’s ravioli. You don’t want ravioli. …Jez, stop trying to eat my ravioli.”

I tell 8-ball that I will always share if it is something he can have.

Elvis… Ever the pragmatist

Lupin & Puck’s way might be the best way to convince me <3

I think my cats are defective. 8 of the 9 do not consider fish as food; not even the water or oil from the tuna can.

//Slurp!!// (That’s my Bowie’s approach!)

Big Gray is definitely #3 when I have yogurt, which is always share with him.

Interesting that Lupin chose the least obnoxious method.

My tuxedo boy Boopie was a #3. We called it the Pretty Cat pose – paws together, tail curled around his front feet just so, ears forward, big eyes looking up. “See how pretty I am! Give me what you have!”, he would seem to say. Except he didn’t want it when he got it; would just sniff and walk away. He would do this to visitors, who would believe him over us telling them “Don’t do it! He’s lying to you!”. Usually the next thing we would say is “Do you need some paper towel?”

This is all so cute.

I never eat fish (the smell!), so my cats only had fish in various cat foods. I visited friends who had gone fishing and cooked up some fish especially for their cats. For my Ericka, they wrapped up a piece in plastic wrap covered in aluminum foil and put it in a paper bag so I couldn’t smell it in the car. I walked in the door, and Ericka instantly went crazy, tearing at the bag. How she could smell it through plastic and aluminum and paper is amazing. Cats are such incredible creatures.

Interesting. We went from a lidded dish to a baking/cookiee sheet for the fish. Rules out a stew or chowder dish. Also rules out a fish risoto, a fish pasta dish, or a fish paella. Some baked or broiled dish then?

Kirby would sidle up and wrinkle his forehead and squint his eyes in a very distinctive way that said, “Hey, what you got there?”

He would sample popcorn, cookies, even, on one occasion that involved competitive eating, non-dairy cheese substitute. He was never greedy but he did like to sample.

Dear Orb, I need your memories. Tonight I watched FOX news network show “The Five.”. Dana Perino used a major word inappropriately. then she repeated the usage, again incorrectly. It is now 7 hours later for me. There is no article online mentioning her gaffe. I can’t remember the word. Can anyone help?

Don’t know if anyone has posted this, but “Pucky, Prince of Bacon: A Breaking Cat News Adventure Paperback – September 6, 2022” is available for preorder on Amazon today.

Still waiting patiently for the last one to come out to be delivered – “Behind the Scenes with Burt” but it is supposed to be here this month.