Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 11, 2019

When I give the pedestrian right of way, I want to see sparks as they rush across the street.*

*I ripped that off of Janeane Garofalo.

Stephan has issues! Especially with Jef!

Fascist pedo guy, fresh from the Streets of San Francisco

Next time, don’t stop for him, and that will be the end of “our newest character”.

And here I was expecting him to stay, “That’s what you were supposed to do.”

There’s got to be a fascist Biker man too, who thinks public roads are his private property!

“I’m walkin’ here!” – Ratso Rizzo, Midnight Cowboy, the original fascist pedestrian guy.

Exactly where do pedestrians like that have their head, in their phone or up something? Most people drive with their head where the sun doesn’t shine so it makes sense to pay attention. I don’t want “But, I had the right of way.” as my epitaph.

FP Guy is bound to blast NPR podcasts or music (artisinal alternative Himalayan folk?) in his weird tiny earbuds when he just walks out in front of traffic, so will soon become a FP Ghost.

Ah, it’s good to be the emperor of the world and do what we please without regards to anyone else! Until Bluto pulls your lungs out through your mouth! Oh, my. Violins in the comics! What sweet music!!!

His run shall be short…

I just can’t buy FPG and Jef as BFFs. They should be undying enemies. Each thinks he has the right-of-way on the other’s turf.

darwinian self correction is imminent.

Yep, Stephan’s familiar with San Francisco.

As a pedestrian, I am outraged by the content of today’s strip. I mean, there’s no way Rat would’ve stopped for that guy. Totally out of character.

You’re on thin ice, Pastis. Don’t make me ax this comic.

Oh! Oh! Do angry F-150 Pickup Driver next!

Tomorrow, Death Race PBS.

I thought Rat’s word in panel 3 wasn’t allowed in comics?

And if you see him striding to down the street you need to know, by mind reading, which way he is going to go and be stopped by the time he gets there.

Heard this somewhere. ‘Some days I drive, other times I walk and there are times I’ll ride my bike. Whatever I’m doing, I hate the people doing the other two.’

I like the ones that glare at you while they saunter across the street.

Next up Christmas, when its impossible to turn right or left because the crosswalks are full.

Stephan why bring a new character on board when a lot of the old ones see little use ….

Natural prey for the crocs.

We’re not talking about how stopping for Anyone is a little out of character for rat? He’d be the epitome of asshole car driver, wouldn’t he?

Does anyone else think Fascist Pedestrian Guy looks like a young Eugene Levy?

If I’m crossing the street with the light, yes, I expect cars to stop at the line and not halfway into the crosswalk. When cars are at a stop sign, I do hurry my steps so they don’t miss an opening in traffic. Courtesy goes both ways. And no, I don’t text and walk. That’s dumb.

Time to break out the sticks with nails in them.

Pffft! In just about all cities obnoxious cyclist trumps fascist pedestrian everytime! And runs him over to prove it!

I’m TOTALLY with Rat on THIS ONE!!!!

I am with Rat on this one.

The problem with this is that Fascist Pedestrian Guy and Jef the Cyclist should NOT be friends, since Jef is far more likely to run him down than any car.

Pedestrian deaths at an all-time high but by all means demonize the victims and laugh along with distracted and otherwise lousy drivers.

I went looking to see where Pastis lives- San Francisco, I assume? Thought maybe he’d had a few FPG incidents lately, but wikipedia says he works months ahead of deadline. Though I will look forward to more with the new character!

I don’t need you to stop 30 feet back, but if you can’t stop at the nice thick line that tells you where you’re supposed to stop, could you at least stop at the first crosswalk line instead of the second one? Because I swear I am this close to just taking a stroll across the hood of the next idiot that blocks the crosswalk.

Clearly, Patsis is a driver with issues. What makes a driver’s time and convenience a higher priority than that of that of the pedestrian or cyclist? Certainly these latter two are at much greater risk of death and injury from the car than the other way around.

Also, not sure I’d equate walking across the street slowly while texting with a murderous, authoritarian, genocidal political system. Stupid, annoying and obnoxious, yes, but not fascist. When we use these terms too loosely they become meaningless. (and, yes, I know it’s ‘just’ a comic strip…)

sure, I can do that, but are you sure you will be able to read your messages after being run over by 30 ft? will not the blood in your face get in the way?

Any friend of Jef is not a friend of mine.

Will we also be seeing FPG’s wife, Woman-Who-Stops-Abruptly-in-the-Middle-of-the-Grocery-Aisle-to-Check-Her-Messages-and-Glares-When-Someone-Pushes-Past-Her?

Usually means something totally different but… I’D HIT THAT!

Yeah… don’t need anymore ‘snowflake’ types

I haven’t check the stats, but I suspect that the number of Darwin Awards have gone up since cell phones became popular. A couple of years ago we had a guy looking at his phone walk off a cliff into the ocean.

Must be a millennial….oh hell no is right!

I’d rather see Worry Warthog again

https://www.gocomics.com/pearlsbeforeswine/2015/11/26?ct=v&cti=1883369

Hmmm..I’m more akin to Stephan than I realized! ;o[

They ARE worse than the biker boys!

Have been on all sides of this, I walk my dog twice a day, ride my bike a few times a week and drive everyday. There are plenty of polite people out there and plenty of obnoxious rude folks too. But the person with the heaviest vehicle needs to consider those who are vulnerable. Not only can you ruin their life, you will also ruin yours.

I’ve got an idea! How about you DON’T stop for him?

I wonder if the cartoonist was bullied by cyclists and pedestrians when he was young. I’m glad he has this strip to help work out his trauma! (just kidding—there’s a part of me that sometimes mutters “damn right”)

I have to admit, one of the things about this generation I find most astounding (in a really bad way) is the number of people who think they are immune to automobiles. Arrogance, to put it plainly.

“If you hit me I’ll sue!”

Obvious reply: Well then, let’s make sure you’re in no condition to do so…

@Stephan Pastis, until you’ve tried to drive through downtown Portland during the day, you have no right.

This new character is certainly funnier than actual drivers who use their vehicle as an assault weapon.

Car hits pedestrian. Pedestrian hits car. Either way not good for pedestrian.

You said ‘Fascist Pedestrian Guy’ but I heard ‘Arcade Target Guy’.

This comic illustrates one of my pet peeves — the militant pedestrian. They seem to think that the crosswalk provides them with some kind of force field that allows them to step right into traffic.

how about fascist drivers that honks at cars waiting to turn left because there is a pedestrian in the intersection with the walk sign? Granted, maybe the driver waiting should run over the pedestrian or maybe the a-hole honking should get stephen’s head out of his butt.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LOVE IT!

Oh boy. It should be interesting. I wouldn’t mind seeing him get run over, but at least keep him around for a few more strips so we can get some decent laughs or puns out of him.

Too bad he’s not also one of those Invisible Pedestrians I keep running into~~~

As a pedestrian, cyclist and active commuter (i.e. taxis, car sharing and public transportation), I’m no fan of Jef or the new fascist pedestrian characters, although I know a few people who behave like these two.

Most people like me use bike boulevards and lanes, wear helmets, bright clothes, use lights at night and obey traffic laws while riding. Same goes for walking and crossing at crosswalks.

The beef I have with some drivers is their attitude of ownership of the road along with distracted driving, or driving high or drunk and hit and run leaving the injured laying on the side of the road like a animal or worse. Please remember I said “some drivers.”

When riding my bike or on a bus, I can see into most vehicles and watch people texting while driving, it’s so common with both men and women even though the fine for doing so in Oregon is $1,000 for first offense, up to $2,500 for a second offense and the third time within ten years another $2,500 and the risk of six months in jail.

Regardless of whether it’s a pedestrian or cyclist, a car, SUV or truck weighs 2-4 tons depending on the vehicle, and will cause catastrophic injuries or death to a human body at a speed as little as 25 mph, and the injuries and certain death grows exponentially with every 5 mph increase.

Finally, I implore Mr. Pastis to change or drop “Fascist” from the pedestrian character’s name, given its decisiveness and negative nature, it’s just adding another “us verses them” in today’s society.

Sorry, didn’t see him. I was busy texting at 40 mph & suddenly – SPLAT!

I’ve never seen a ped complain when a driver stopped. Within a foot. We got Fascists, all right – but they ain’t walking ! They have chauffeurs .

Yep – it’s all about me….

When I was a kid, my mother made sure I understood about pedestrian safety; she told me that having the right of way won’t bring me back to life if I get hit by a car.

I’m guessing the FPG had bad parents.

Great, another useless character.

It can go both ways—Dec 2, 2019 – Seattle police believe driver was high on meth when she hit pedestrians on Aurora, killing 2. A second person has died after a high-speed crash on Aurora Avenue North on Friday afternoon, when a Nissan Sentra plowed into a group of four pedestrians and the driver attempted to flee the scene.

I love Rat.

Have we ever seen Rat driving?

There’s a spot in town that I used to use daily where the southbound (two lanes, one way) traffic has a stop sign. Many drivers don’t stop. If you’re feeling generous you may decide they’re just confused by all the pedestrian traffic. Or you can blame them, which I usually do. I’ve been nearly hit on several occasions, including twice when the driver yelled at me for crossing without waiting for the road to clear. Only one of the vehicles came away damaged though, and it destroyed my umbrella, so I haven’t retaliated that way since.

there’s a big, wide white line where you stop. It’s well behind the crosswalk. If Fascist Ped is “distracted”, blow your horn. He’ll wake up. But respect the line I don’t dawdle, but many people attack the stop sign, ansd many more don’t even look both ways. If I were Fascist Ped, I’d be dead.

I don’t think the word “fascist” works in this strip

HOW DO PEOPLE GET SO MUCH LIKES HERE! AWGIEDAWGIE’s COMMENT HAS 90 FRICKEN LIKES!

Oh Hell No!

Oh, no. No! We don’t need or want Fascist Pedestrian Guy! —Any friend of Jef the Biker is an enemy of mine!

In my experience, pedestrians and cyclists have a rather parliamentary relationship. They only ally on those occasions when a common enemy makes it necessary.

Rat, put a cowcatcher on the front of your car.

Howzabout driving right over the solid white line and into the edge of the crosswalk, like they do here in downtown Minneapolis?

Let’s go with “feckless”. Make “feckless” great again.

To be followed by Mild mannered driver character – oh, sorry, this is real life isn’t it – Rage driver character it is.

In Edmonton if you stop at a crosswalk the other drivers exploit your weakness to pass you.

200th comment!