Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for November 17, 2020

LOL Wiley you’re the best. I just wish you’d share some of what you’re smoking, I sure could use some

I had a couple of young men who would combine different games. Their Chess-Monopoly-Poker Game had some strange rules. I figured the only way I would win was during a New Moon… where I could sneak out during the darkness!

Okay that looks far more fun that either bowling or golf. When do we start?

They’re not adjusting well to the pandemic. Only one is wearing a mask.

The Trump Pandemic Adjustment League?

(Snort). When these guys call “FORE!” they mean it!

What’s the rules here? If you miss the cup, you have to do a shot?

If you make it without a slice, you get a slice?

The groundskeeper is going to have a fit getting rid of the ruts.

So, do you have to knock all the cans down before the ball goes in the hole, or do you get a chance at a spare?

One of the fastest growing “sports” during the pandemic has been frisbee (or disc) golf. You’re outside physically separated from folks, even in your typically small group. It’s cheap and gets you a good walk in the woods (often). Never played it before this thing, but at least it doesn’t require buying clubs.

There was always a lot of social distancing when my brother and I played. One of us hooked, the other sliced. After teeing off we might not see each other again until the green…

Water hazards would be a real pain with bowling balls.

The male of the human species will use any and all excuses for beer and pizza and to slack off while consuming same. Well, …..we women did bring ’em into this world, so what can I say?…….with or without pepperoni guys?

Ah. Maybe that has been my problem all along. I always released off my left foot.

One difference between bowling and golf? You have to try really hard to lose a bowling ball.

If they televise it would it be less boring than non-hybrid golf or bowling?

Available soon! MALS hats! That’s right, Made America Less Shitty. Be the first in your neighbourhood to have one of these fine hats! Details and pricing will be announced soon on the Home Boy Shopping Network, a division of Panda Industries L L P.

Throw in some tackling and you have a real winner, Wiley.

Sure why not? I mean really, golf for the masses makes messes. Woo Hoo!! Home run.

That what’s called a Bowling Green! ( I’m leaving now… )

Anything to lighten the load and dull the beat of CV-19 Blues.

My guess is that after throwing a bowling ball around for 18 holes, your forearms would be aching!

Thinking about how far a bowling ball would roll on grass, don’t play anything longer than a par 3.

Remember to repair your ball marks, or trenches as the case may be, on the greens

Finally, playing miniature golf with bowling balls would be fun, if the windmill was strong enough.

Calvin Ball for those over 10 years old.

Great idea Wiley.

My golfing buddy and I put away our putters this summer and substituted pool cues. We each shaved 7 – 10 strokes off of our game.

If, like golf, the lowest score wins, I’d be really good at bowling!

The only problem I see is getting a caddie to carry the beer, pizzas and bowling balls for 18 holes. Beyond that, I think this could catch on!

I think it’s time for the bears to make an appearance!

Not clear how this is “better adjusted” than regular golf. Don’t share a cart or clubs; wear a mask in the clubhouse.

For any given complex, expensive, time-consuming problem there exists at least one simple, cheap, easy wrong answer.

Hunh. Well, y’know…better to light a candle…

There are some serious divots to repair, but at least there is beer and pizza to make up for the hassle.

I was in Portland, Oregon some years ago, when I heard a weird sound coming from a park a block away, so I followed it. I found a group playing croquet with sledgehammers and bowling balls! Only in Portland!

Pay attention folks! Pandemic Adjustment League (PAL). It’s just that the Pals regiments weren’t WW1 ’s best idea.

With some adjustments, this might actually be a fun sport/activity. (And I say that as someone whose golf score is higher than his bowling score.)

Beer and skittles.

Bravo, gentlemen.

How to improve golf: remove the sand traps, make the holes 2 feet wide and serve beer and pizza – from “food trucks” located at each green! I think a lot more people would golf…

It would be fun to stage this cartoon and photograph it.

With the owner’s permission, of course.

I like it! Can we also have Tennis-court skeet shooting? And when we can finally gather indoors again, will there be bowling-alley curling?

It can’t be a Trumplethinskin League.

Everyone knows he’s too weak to pick up a Bowling Ball.

Heck, when he cheats at Golf, he usually Kicks the ball instead of Throwing it.

It looks like Calvinball grew up!

Actually that just means two of the three were smarter than their friend, but they still let him buy the beer and pizza.