Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 31, 2022

If nothing else, it’s easy to see why the billboard campaign didn’t work.

Politicians are too busy with their PAC-Man to notice anything else.

For an act to be a crime, there must be criminal intent. And we KNOW how Pastis intends to make puns. QED.

Is that cop a fundy-mentalist?

No one raised Stephan right, but momma tried.

I love his puns!

It was then when the council decided to introduce a mandatory ‘pun can’ for each household, taking a lot of tension out of things.

You’ve been getting away with puns for far too long

Good one!

We need stricter pun laws.

Time to get your due pun-ishment, Pastis.

Germany just did a sweep, arresting hundreds for insulting or mocking politicians online.

Where’s your White Privilege now?

Cops suck the pun out of life.

I hope the punishment is retroactive

Puns were always misdemeanor worthy. It’s just that Pearl has raised (lowered?) the pun to a new standard of excellence (deplorability?). Can’t look away.

looks like ole Stephan could use a good 1st amendment auditor……..

since when white guys aren’t in on the joke.

Book ’em, Danno.

Stephan we heard Larry Croc will be your Public Defender ;-)

Now it’s up to a judge. It could go either way. Some think Bad Puns are the Worst (a Crime) while others think Bad Puns are the Best.

How will Stephen will pullead? Whatever pulleases the court?

At last! Puns are being brought to justice.

Crime and Punishment.

Puns don’t kill people…idiots with puns do.

Crime and Pun-ishment for Pastis.

I remember reading years ago that there was a new mental disorder “pathological punning”, where the patient couldn’t resist making puns.

Seriously

I figured the “diagnoses” were by therapists that were tired of Dad jokes and out for revenge

I was thinking about the billboards protesting a certain bill just signed by the governor of Florida.

Uh-oh. I’m in big truffles.

I will admit to finding Steph’s puns more amusing than all current late night talk shows and the past twenty years of Academy Awards shows.

Water board him!

I thought they’re good. I guess I’m just not Pastis yet.

Imagine the flame wars this would have started a year & a half ago!

Finally, a pun with which I can agree.

RATS! What a load of crap! Crime has skyrocketed and we need them now, more than ever!

Pun not, piggata

Not so fast Pastis. Drop the pun and back away.

Perfect timing for a pun, right when March is going out like a lion. A lion with a very cold, windy breath.

I hope the punishment is not too severe…

the police office looks like the same guy from yesterday.

It’s about time!

Okay Pastis— get thee to a punnery.

In the otherwise terrible film THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE,some mountain is called for.

Somebody asks Bullwinkle—“Can you rappel?”

And the reply is—“Why,certainly! I’ve been rappelling viewers for years!”

mountain climbing

Hard time in the punitentiary.

Pastis must be PUN-ished for this!

Throw away the key!

…and when Rat took over the strip was a HUGE success!

The puns are a welcome relief from the "I"m so depressed.. life is awful no matter what I do" tack we’ve been seeing here. Hoping Mr. Pastis is (wait for it)… PAST HIS bad feelings. lol, etc…..

Crime and pun-ishment

Throw away the key (but leave him his pen).

Once you outlaw puns, only criminals will use puns.

Stephan might have to pay some pun-ative damages.

Nowadays I find it harder and harder to find something that makes me laugh out loud. Stephan, you accomplished that today, and I thank you.

I’m feeling a little PUNch drunk after reading all gems.

I really do appreciate a good pun. Especially if it seem so natural that it takes me a while to get it. But bad puns should be worthy of police involvement. Sorry Pastis.

G R O A N — LOLOL

ACAP – everyone’s a critic, but all cops are pundits.

Just terrible.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal sometimes has a good/bad pun worthy of repeating. Sometimes it results in death but here goes nothing:https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/punchline-2

Remember, puns are the lowest form of humor when someone else thinks them up before you do.

So, we need stricter pun-ishment…?

Perp-walk him, Officer! Make the handcuffs extra-tight (and throw away the key)! It’s about time Cartoon-Boy pays the price for his bloody pun-crime wave!

I guess Stephan doesn’t live in one of those ultra-conservative cities where residents are required by law to own a pun.

Fourth and 20 yards, Way back at their own 5 yard line, looks like they’ll need to go for a pun.