Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 18, 2022

An optimist is someone smart enough not to spend his time with Rat.

An optimist tests you to see if you need glasses.

those who are overly optimistic maybe haven’t fully grasped the situation…

Pessimism is win -win. If things go right (they hardly ever do) you get a pleasant surprise. If things go wrong, you can smugly say “Told you so”.

An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds…. A pessimist fears this is true.

A pessimist will say, “Man things can’t get any worse!”

An optimist will reply, “Yes they can!”

Rat has become quite the philosopher.

The difference is the response to something bad happening:

Optimist: “WTF, darn it!”

Pessimist: “Toldya so!”

… and a politician is banking on an optimist will vote for them, and a pessimist will not vote at all.

Me realist. Me knows them optimists and pessimists is both looneys who turns blind eye to reality.

They both flounder in the mists of time.

Murphy was an optimist.

Good one!

The nice thing about being a pessimist is that all your surprises are happy ones!

Gas gauge halfway, optimist says half full, pessimist says half empty, !

A pessimist is an optimist who started paying attention.

An optimist is the guy who examins your eyes. A pessimist is someone who studies insects.

My motto: An optimist can never be pleasantly surprised.

Optimists need to support each other. What, you’ve never heard of the Optimist Club?

So the optimist said, “smile, it could be worse.” So I smiled and, sure enough, it got worse.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

An optimist would know better than to have anything to do with Rat.

An optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. As a process engineer, I say you have twice as much glass as you need.

I like Pig’s response. I feel like it’s a roast.

Oy vey! Who’s on first?

Rat: a Pessimistic Realist or a Fatalistic Pessimist.

I’m optimistic that however the midterms go next month we’re screwed either way

A pessimist believes the future will be miserable and therefore it is.

An optimist believes the future will be good and therefore it is.

Both are self fulfilling prophesies.

A pessimist is an optimist with all the data

The optimist believes that this the Best of all Possible Worlds.

The pessimist fears this is so.

An optimist is an eye doctor and a pessimist is a foot doctor!

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.” – _Mark Twain’s Notebook (1902-1903).

https://www.gocomics.com/peanuts/1957/04/03?ct=v&cti=1336519

A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel.

An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A REALIST sees a freight train.

The engineer sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

Maybe we should let our politicians debate this and mutually decide.

Things CAN change.

An optimist sees the glass as 1/2 full, a pessimist sees the glass as 1/2 empty, Excel sees the glass as 2-Jan.

Optimists generally enjoy life more and tend to be more healthy.

Point Pig.

Rat is right, you know.

Sorry, Pig, but Rat’s right (yet again!)….

A pessimist is never disappointed.

Murphy’s Law? O’Toole’s Commentary: “Murphy was an optimist.”