Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 16, 2023

You lose.

He puts the ex in exoskeleton

It’s called a post-mortem tire tread tattoo.

That works with sports cars, because they like to swerve, but not 18 wheelers.

It’s called “fully loaded roulette”.

Q: Why’d the chicken cross the road? A: To prove to the armadillo that could be done. Outside of Texas, it’s to prove it to the ‘possum, skunk, ground hog, et al. that it’s doable.

“X” will mark the spot

Road pizza to go!

I’d dodge a porcupine, because those quills will go right through a steel belted radial, but I’m not risking a wreck to save an armadillo.

Thank you for using the word Brinksmanship. I am always surprised by people who have never even heard it, much less know what it means.

He is going to be pretty tired after all that brinksmanship

Then shouldn’t it be an armored truck?

The problem for armadillos is that they jump up, no out of the way. Fine against snakes, bad against semis.

How Texan of it

And the score is “Half-Shell Possum” ZERO, Semi ONE!

Unfortunately there has never been an armadillo winner so there has never been a winner’s cup.

Skunks and raccoons practice the same policy.

Two weeks ago in southwest Missouri we counted 9 dead Armadillos on a 15 mile trip on Highway 60. Two days ago, 5 on the same trip. You should see a yard after they go through digging for dinner!

You lose!

“Watch and learn, I’m about to earn a Darwin Award!”

A political interpretation might yield a comparison here. The semi could be seen as reality. The armadillo as MAGA Republiquins.

I’ve lived in Oklahoma most of my life and have never seen a live armadillo.

Nope it’s called “Splat.”

One squashed armadillo, sunny side up!

A youngster once told me that Field and Stream advised honking at deer. That works when there’s time. Unfortunately, deer have totaled two of our cars and dented a few others. We need more hunters!

Step one- ‘Hold my beer.’

In Peru he could enjoy his next life as the back side of a mandolin. Don’t ask me how I know this.

Hold my beer.

During the Depression armadillos were called “Hoover Hogs”. IMHO, applying the name “Hoover” to the armadillos was very demeaning & VERY unfair…to the ARMADILLOS!

Armor plated possum.

Armadillo vs. Optimus Prime: one shall stand, one shall fall.

The other side calls it squash

Hmm, I always thought they were struck by aircraft and fell on roads from a great height. :)

Gotta hope the onlooker will be able to learn the truth about dueling a semi. Hint: Don’t do it!!

Reminds me more of sail rabbits in Wyoming. I’ve never hit an armadillo in all the years driving across southern/western US.

The same stance too many of our politicians have towards the oncoming climate change.

At least he’s not one of those armadillo politicians that lays down on the job,.

Watch, just watch, splat…

Give that armadillo a t icket for crossing against the light

I once saw a little dance as the driver tried to anticipate which way the possum would run, and the possum tried to guess which way the car would swerve. It’s not just deer who get that “headlight” look.

 armadillo v. to provide weapons to a Spanish pickle

In a contest between an armadillo and a truck the armadillo always comes out second best (with apologies to Pam Ayres). Don’t try this at home!!

When the other side has bigger wheels, they can ignore the consequences of ignoring you.

The Armadillo is the Texas State Bird

I think it’s called roadkill.

Armadillos worship the Great God Peterbilt.

They believe that by sacrificing themselves to Peterbilt, they will live forever on the Great Highway and Sing the Tire Song.