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A â female â friend of mine once had the message from âThe Rockford filesâ on her answering machine. When her mother called for the first time, she hung up immediately.
The Countâs is âNo, I am pleased with my electric plan and have no intention of making a donation to the widowsâ and orphansâ fund for an organization that does not existâ.
I once left an outgoing message as Ned Flanders: âHi-Diddly-Hi, friends and neighbors, I canât come to the phone right now, Iâm off at Bible Camp, learning how to be judgmental. Leave a message, Iâll get back to you shortly. Okely Dokely, Bye nowâ.
My outgoing message: âHello. I screen all calls. Introduce yourself and I may pick up the phone. Otherwise, leave a message.â. I never answer the phone unless I recognize the caller ID.
Iâll be glad when Medicare open enrollment is over. My answer machine says âleave a messageâ, but all they say is, âHelloâ a couple of times. I have picked up a few times when I was right by the phone. They are wanting me to change my Part D provider.
One of the best I ever heard was Phil Harris from DEADLIEST CATCH: âHey, this is Phil, leave a message. If itâs important, Iâll get back to you. If I donât get back to you, then you know why.â
I donât know what my outgoing message is, but I do know I finally have a full mailbox, so I donât have to deal with it anymore. Anyone who knows me knows that if I donât answer the call, I will either call them back or they can text me.
Rat, I love this message; going to try and talk the rest of the family into letting me use it on the landline. It did cut the number of stupid calls down after putting the number into the Do No Call registry, and it still gets 20-30 every day.
We have âWelcome to the voice mail at [the name of our home], where [my name] and [my wifeâs name] are screening calls, because most of our calls lately have been from robocallers and spambots. If youâre a human being with reason to talk to us, please tell us so and weâll get back to you when we can. Thanks.â I think that about says it.
BE THIS GUY over 1 year ago
My outgoing message is: âYou have the wrong number.â
BasilBruce over 1 year ago
I expect everyone who calls Rat will ask him why he even has a phone.
Botulism Bob over 1 year ago
Steph is in jail in San Diego, calls Rat to help post bail, and gets that new message. It must really hurt to be Steph.
einarbt over 1 year ago
Hope Rat and Pig and the others are doing okay now that Stephan has been arrested (see yesterdayâs comic).
cmxx over 1 year ago
Long, long ago, even before answering machines, I knew a guy who answered his phone by saying, âSpeak.â
rshive over 1 year ago
That IS the old one, Pig!
c001 over 1 year ago
A â female â friend of mine once had the message from âThe Rockford filesâ on her answering machine. When her mother called for the first time, she hung up immediately.
iggyman over 1 year ago
I have âFowl Playâ from the Baja Marimba band on mine, scares away Robocallers!
Doug K over 1 year ago
I hate rats who have hateful outgoing phone messages.
win.45mag over 1 year ago
ooohhh you dirty rat
figuratively speaking over 1 year ago
âText! Text me! What were you thinking?â
smithsilverstrea over 1 year ago
Does this mean that Rat never got Stephanâs 1 phone call from jail? If the jail has a library, maybe Stephan could sign some books there.
Procat Premium Member over 1 year ago
Say âI canât hear youâ several times then say âIâm deafâ
Count Olaf Premium Member over 1 year ago
That is Our Hero, Ratâs, old one. The new on is even worse.
Count Olaf Premium Member over 1 year ago
The Countâs is âNo, I am pleased with my electric plan and have no intention of making a donation to the widowsâ and orphansâ fund for an organization that does not existâ.
The Orange Mailman over 1 year ago
The old one was probably worse.
ekw555 over 1 year ago
I have one-upped Rat by simply not having a phone. Not that anyone would have called me anyway.
GumbyDammit223 over 1 year ago
Rat IS my spirit animal!!!
[Traveler] Premium Member over 1 year ago
I used to do funny ones back in the 90âs
DaBump Premium Member over 1 year ago
No, no, I think the new one works perfect for Rat.
Goat from PBS over 1 year ago
My outgoing message would be similar to Ratâs. Never have I been called a âpeople person.â And I hate answering the phone.
Walrus Gumbo Premium Member over 1 year ago
I once left an outgoing message as Ned Flanders: âHi-Diddly-Hi, friends and neighbors, I canât come to the phone right now, Iâm off at Bible Camp, learning how to be judgmental. Leave a message, Iâll get back to you shortly. Okely Dokely, Bye nowâ.
Ellis97 over 1 year ago
If thatâs his new voice mailbox, Iâd hate to see what his old one sounds like.
Jeffin Premium Member over 1 year ago
My outgoing message is. Very outgoing.
cmxx over 1 year ago
The snottiest answering message I ever heard was one that included âIâll return your call at my convenience.â
Queen of America Premium Member over 1 year ago
Mine isnât even set up. I donât give strangers (or even people like the doctor or dentist) my number. If they want me, call my landline.
Zebrastripes over 1 year ago
Some messages are so stupidâŠ.like Rats!
SusieB over 1 year ago
Iâm sure the old message was just as unfriendly
CitizenOfTheValley over 1 year ago
My outgoing message: âHello. I screen all calls. Introduce yourself and I may pick up the phone. Otherwise, leave a message.â. I never answer the phone unless I recognize the caller ID.
anomalous4 over 1 year ago
Where phones are concerned, Rat is my spirit animal. My smartphone is my only phone, & I use it for everything EXCEPT talking!
monya_43 over 1 year ago
Iâll be glad when Medicare open enrollment is over. My answer machine says âleave a messageâ, but all they say is, âHelloâ a couple of times. I have picked up a few times when I was right by the phone. They are wanting me to change my Part D provider.
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 1 year ago
I know that Rat, Pig, and Goat all (supposedly) live in the same house. Are we supposed to think that Stephan lives there, too?
zeexenon over 1 year ago
Try George Costanzaâs.
CoffeeBob Premium Member over 1 year ago
Just use Dorothy Parkerâs method of answering the door âWhat fresh Hell can this be?â
lunatics_fringe Premium Member over 1 year ago
One of the best I ever heard was Phil Harris from DEADLIEST CATCH: âHey, this is Phil, leave a message. If itâs important, Iâll get back to you. If I donât get back to you, then you know why.â
Moonkey Premium Member over 1 year ago
I donât know what my outgoing message is, but I do know I finally have a full mailbox, so I donât have to deal with it anymore. Anyone who knows me knows that if I donât answer the call, I will either call them back or they can text me.
mindjob over 1 year ago
Tape answering machines were fun and people got creative with their outgoing messages. I think thatâs a lost art now
pamela welch Premium Member over 1 year ago
Rat, I love this message; going to try and talk the rest of the family into letting me use it on the landline. It did cut the number of stupid calls down after putting the number into the Do No Call registry, and it still gets 20-30 every day.
eddi-TBH over 1 year ago
Rat also offers a line of ungreeting cards for all occasions.
The Brooklyn Accent Premium Member over 1 year ago
We have âWelcome to the voice mail at [the name of our home], where [my name] and [my wifeâs name] are screening calls, because most of our calls lately have been from robocallers and spambots. If youâre a human being with reason to talk to us, please tell us so and weâll get back to you when we can. Thanks.â I think that about says it.
Sisyphos over 1 year ago
Why, Pig? The old one was probably not much politer. And at least you have inspired Rat to make a Change!
minty_Joe over 1 year ago
Some time ago, my outgoing message was a âdoctoredâ version of Cheech and Chongâs âDaveâs Not Here, Manâ.
Lady loves a joke over 1 year ago
Hmm.. that does have a nice âringâ to it..
Ceeg22 Premium Member over 1 year ago
Thatâs a good one