Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 25, 2023

So Pig knows nothing about how people euphemistically say “I don’t want to talk to you anymore”?

It is more polite than “I’m hanging up now because I’m tired of you.”

Not necessarily ‘phonese’. You could use the same expression to tell someone to get lost in person.

How about “I’m gonna call you back?”.

Eh sounds like a phoney language to me.

Sort of like when Mary Worth says “Do you want to talk about it?” but she really means “Are you out of your tree?!”

Where I live, it’s “(exhale) Well!” in a bright tone, followed by “We’ll talk soon” if they don’t get it.

I’m more direct: “I have to hang up now.”

How about, “I have to go to the bathroom”?

A green phone, a yellow phone, a blue cup and a red cup, yup yup yup.

Rat is a rude Dude!

I say “I gotta go”!

Ok well it’s been great talking to you!

TTYL!

The battery on my phone is starting to die, click

I speak a little phonese. When the automated spam voice (on my old-fashioned plain as can be landline phone) asks, “May I speak with [my RL first name]?” I just say “No!” and hang up. Total wasted time: answering the call plus maybe three seconds….

That might be a potential use for AI: create an app that can continue a phone conversation in what sounds like your own voice, while you do whatever you want. Just be careful not to use it for a spam call, so you don’t end up buying into whatever scam that’s being offered.

In order to learn phonese, phone-etics help.

Gotta go, my call waiting is beeping

It was used by the Phoenicians circa 200 BC

You could just say, “Goodbye.”

Is phonese spoken by phonies?

Phonese for phonies

I like the southern version: “let me let you let me go”

“I was in the parking garage.” My wife’s workplace has underground parking, so if we are talking while she is in the elevator, there’s no signal in the garage level.

People talking on the phone? This must be a very old strip

i … not…. service

Rat was discrete and polite? I guess change is possible.

Similarly, I‘ve learned to stop a too long texting exchange by putting a like on the last text.

“Sorry I gotta go pee.”

Texting is for sure. Especially when trying to interpret posted childspeak.

My phonese language for “May I hang up now?” is, “Are we done here?”

Goodbye

When Number 3 Grandson (7) is ready to get off, he says “OK, I can let you go now if you want.”

So of course I just had to look, and yes, there are apps that simulate an incoming call from boss, relative, etc., to give you an excuse to hang up on somebody. Should have known…

“What are you doing with the rest of the day?”

Read every comment today!

“I’m out of words now, talk to you later.”

I actually thought that Pig was getting laid off.

I used to be able to dial in on it, but today I’m all tapped out. 〠

Wait, I didn’t think talking on the phone was allowed anymore. They really need to change the name of “phone” to something else, as it is used for everything but a phone these days. I’ll text you on my “Not a Phone.” Convenient Distraction Device. Tunnel Vision Device. Brain Masher. Anti-Social Device….

What’s phonese for “I have nothing else to do”?

“I’ll let you go” is polite-ese for “I’ve been silently begging you to shut up.”

Too bad he’s poor as a church-rat and cannot afford a wireless headset.

“Well, it was great catching up with you! Let’s talk again soon.”

By the time I get to phonix, I’ll be screaming.

Poor Pig’ vocabulary is as limited as a lot of other things about him. On the other hand, he’s probably the happiest of them all.

“Please leave your name and number at the sound of the dial tone.”

I love that Stephen did this, because I’ve been aware here in Portland OR for a long time of the irony of friends saying ‘Well, I’ll let ya go’ when what they mean is, “OK I wanna go now.” Ha! But it’s a soft landing.. i get it. It doesn’t mean they hate me ;)

This is so true!