Favorite flight-attendant safety messages, from back before they started playing recordings:
“If you’re traveling with a child, adjust your own oxygen mask first. If you’re traveling with more than one child, decide right now which one you love the most.”
“… and you unbuckle the seat belt the same way as every other seat belt you’ve ever used.”
“Our pilot today is Captain Crunch.”
“In the unlikely event of a water landing, you’ll know you’re not in Kansas any more.”
You can hardly blame them. It must get awfully boring after the 1000th repetition of the same line of patter, and at least these guys were entertaining.
It’s funny to read that in a comic strip, but horrible when it happens in real life! One episode of “Air Disasters” (Smithsonian channel, available on YouTube (search for “Engine Catches Fire On Flight 28”)), showed how a plane which burst into flame while taking off had more fatalities than should have been, just because of that kind of behavior—planes are supposed to be able to evacuate ALL passengers and crew in just 90 seconds, but that didn’t happen. Afterwards they did studies and ran tests to see if they could prevent it from happening again and found places for improvement (strip lighting on the floor, wider openings, etc.) See Wikipedia “1985 Manchester Airport disaster”.
Flying from Boise to Denver, our plane was diverted to SLCity due to a tornado warning in Denver (which must happen regularly if the warning signs in the airport are an indication). Folks who would miss their Denver flight got off. No one got on. When we were cleared to depart for Denver, the flight attendant was required to repeat the flight instructions, which he did at warp speed. It was hilarious.
Cattle class is good! my father was in a C – 124 Globemaster crash at Larson A.F.B. , Washington in the early ’50s – hundreds killed – the only survivors were in the “tail”…
When I used to fly (which, thank goodness I don’t anymore), when it came time to leave, I just sat and waited until everyone was pretty much gone, and then calmly and peacefully left the plane. (Fortunately I was never confronted with an emergency situation)
LOL. I had a friend who did that, knocked everyone out of his way and was the first to jump out of the plane. However, the slide had not deployed and he fell all the way to the ground, breaking his back. Karma…..
einarbt 12 months ago
I will take my chance at the back of the plane in cattle class. Don’t think they are backing plains into mountains yet.
The dude from FL Premium Member 12 months ago
I will knock down and step on any person insisting on getting their carry ons from the overhead. I will grind my heels into their skull!
John Smith 12 months ago
Reminds me of the classic comedy routine “Airline Announcements” by George Carlin
Tried to include a link but apparently that’s no longer allowed :(
braindead Premium Member 12 months ago
Another cartoon Republicans will not understand.
They believe it’s just normal behavior.
Richard S Russell Premium Member 12 months ago
Favorite flight-attendant safety messages, from back before they started playing recordings:
“If you’re traveling with a child, adjust your own oxygen mask first. If you’re traveling with more than one child, decide right now which one you love the most.”
“… and you unbuckle the seat belt the same way as every other seat belt you’ve ever used.”
“Our pilot today is Captain Crunch.”
“In the unlikely event of a water landing, you’ll know you’re not in Kansas any more.”
You can hardly blame them. It must get awfully boring after the 1000th repetition of the same line of patter, and at least these guys were entertaining.
Sanspareil 12 months ago
Being business class, they know the cut-throat maneuver!
Imagine 12 months ago
It’s second nature to them.
jzummak 12 months ago
That explains George Costanza.
wallylm 12 months ago
Survival of the shame & guilt-less
sirbadger 12 months ago
How often is getting to an emergency exit quickly useful?
TampaFanatic1 12 months ago
Reminds me of George Costanza at the kid’s birthday party.
LeslieBark 12 months ago
It’s funny to read that in a comic strip, but horrible when it happens in real life! One episode of “Air Disasters” (Smithsonian channel, available on YouTube (search for “Engine Catches Fire On Flight 28”)), showed how a plane which burst into flame while taking off had more fatalities than should have been, just because of that kind of behavior—planes are supposed to be able to evacuate ALL passengers and crew in just 90 seconds, but that didn’t happen. Afterwards they did studies and ran tests to see if they could prevent it from happening again and found places for improvement (strip lighting on the floor, wider openings, etc.) See Wikipedia “1985 Manchester Airport disaster”.
bdpoltergeist Premium Member 12 months ago
I see the business folks are giving the flight crew their proper respect, same kind of respect they show their employees
PraiseofFolly 12 months ago
Emergency Slide Side Wreck-on-omics.
sandpiper 12 months ago
Nothing funny here. Too many examples already on file.
Rick Smith Premium Member 12 months ago
Sounds like regular deboarding when it is pulling into the gate.
Pogostiks Premium Member 12 months ago
Business as usual…
bmckee 12 months ago
Oddly enough, that’s what usually happens in a plane crash. In all classes.
comixbomix 12 months ago
They wrote the manual.
ladykat 12 months ago
Just once in my life, I’d like to go first class on a plane. I’ve done it on a train, and it’s wonderful!
freshmeet2030 12 months ago
Oh, c’mon. It’s BUSINESS class.
“Purposefully” not “Frantically” !
Carol from CT 12 months ago
Thanks. Think I’ll “fly” Amtrak….
shorzy 12 months ago
True capitalism at work…and they excuse exploitation…
JudyAz 12 months ago
That’s a really wide aisle!
Daltongang Premium Member 12 months ago
Southwest Airlines in action.
HOTLOTUS1 12 months ago
when it hits the ground, ya’ll will be the SAME class
Count Olaf Premium Member 12 months ago
Pretty much the same for first class.
batesmom7 12 months ago
Flying from Boise to Denver, our plane was diverted to SLCity due to a tornado warning in Denver (which must happen regularly if the warning signs in the airport are an indication). Folks who would miss their Denver flight got off. No one got on. When we were cleared to depart for Denver, the flight attendant was required to repeat the flight instructions, which he did at warp speed. It was hilarious.
thelordthygod666 12 months ago
What I like about flying first class, besides being away from the rabble, is getting the complimentary parachute.
dwagner200 12 months ago
Don’t kid yourselves. That’s how it’s going down in the no class sections as well.
Steverino Premium Member 12 months ago
I always thought you ate the old and weak.
AZPhinFan 12 months ago
Sadly this is the way that educated, enlightened & professional people have become
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 12 months ago
Did you know that two thirds of the people aboard the Hindenburg survived?
mindjob 12 months ago
Flying: where normal people turn into animals the split second the plane lands
Bilan 12 months ago
Since the business class is closer to the front, it will be the horded masses trampling them.
FassEddie 12 months ago
They get to open their exit doors first, too! Before the plane lands! Seems fair to me.
Moore 1 12 months ago
Well, at least your last meal was a good one with some good wine.
RobinA. Premium Member 12 months ago
Channeling their inner George Costanza.
Mike Baldwin creator 12 months ago
Hear, hear – It’s what they want to hear.
wellis1947 Premium Member 12 months ago
Cattle class is good! my father was in a C – 124 Globemaster crash at Larson A.F.B. , Washington in the early ’50s – hundreds killed – the only survivors were in the “tail”…
well-i-never 12 months ago
I’m having Warren Buffet take my elbow, or carry him if necessary.
keenanthelibrarian 12 months ago
She’s telling them stuff they don’t already know?
PlatudimusAtom Premium Member 12 months ago
Too many are too willing to make life one big cage fight.
wildlandwaters 12 months ago
When I used to fly (which, thank goodness I don’t anymore), when it came time to leave, I just sat and waited until everyone was pretty much gone, and then calmly and peacefully left the plane. (Fortunately I was never confronted with an emergency situation)
eboosler Premium Member 12 months ago
LOL. I had a friend who did that, knocked everyone out of his way and was the first to jump out of the plane. However, the slide had not deployed and he fell all the way to the ground, breaking his back. Karma…..
MT Wallet 12 months ago
Today’s (Nov. 29) Bound and Gagged is something Wiley should have done.
bakana 12 months ago
“Telling it like it IS” Airlines.
Amanda El-Dweek creator 12 months ago
That’s a corporal work of mercy I’m pretty sure.
Fuzzy Kombu 12 months ago
Flying MuskAir (soon to be renamed as XAir)?
lindz.coop Premium Member 12 months ago
Business training.