That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for March 05, 2024

Anne Howard-Vyse’s biggest vice was her toast in clothes.

Anne shown here P.O.ed that the painter didn’t give her enough head room.

the Original “RBF” *

*resting bonnet face

She angry that she wasn’t even selected as a Regentess of the Lepers’ Asylum yesterday.

But my hat is even better than theirs!

“You talkin’ to ME?”

Griselda is one of those/

From whom pure hostility glows./

Unpleasantness thrives/

When Griselda arrives:/

But she spreads joy whenever she goes.

THAT young man was NOT amusing

To Mrs. Van Dorn’s deep sorrow, getting delightfully drunk and cavorting about with a lamp shade on one’s head does NOT, in fact, guarantee that one will be considered the proverbial life of the party.

…and if you turn it up the other way, it will easily hold your week’s groceries.

Nice hat.

A rare portrait of Miss Almira Gulch, painted many years before her tragic death in a Kansas tornado.

“See the ring on my finger? That means that I’m married. So no, I don’t want to do the Big Wugga-Wugga with you.”

Claire was the first one to fall asleep at the slumber party, and woke up wearing a funny costume, and wondering why tequila made her clothes fall off, particularly her other glove.

Look buddy, I know you think I’m hot, but not interested. Thats why I have the glove off the left hand.

I will get the fool who put this lampshade on my head during my nap.

Pictured Above: The “vanity portrait” of syndicated gossip columnist Hedda Hopper. She and Louella Parsons became the Scylla and Charybdis of Hollywood. She called herself “The B!tch of the World.” Anything people told her or her staff was NOT kept Hedda’s collection of flamboyant hats.

So many reasons, “Why the long face?”

Trying to set the example for her children, Mary showed them they could even recycle/reuse their Easter basket. Their lack of excitement put her in a rather foul mood.

I said silk rosettes, not tulle puffs!

You can tell by the smiling picture of the blushing bride that this wasn’t going to be a happy marriage.

No painter has ever portrayed/

A more morose-looking maid./

Tis said that she sued/

The brush-wielding dude/

And she won – but she never got paid..

Wedding portrait just after Mother told her “close your eyes and think of England.”

All dressed up and no where to go.

Looking forward to the wedding night, aren’t we just?

Thanks to her poker-faced expression and her heavy clothes to muffle the buzzing, no one ever guessed Mattilda’s vibrator was on high the whole time.

Somewhat reminiscent of Dark Helmet in “Spaceballs”.

“Doctor, can you help? I have a really sore neck and I just don’t understand why.”

Despite her husband’s best efforts, he never did find out how she smuggled cookies into bed.

Beset by incontinence issues, the lady pioneered portable chamber pots.

She’s got a beehive hairdo under that hat.

Looks like a small can of soda

Many ermines were sacrificed for her outfit….

Boy, is SHE ever happy!

No more discrimination ! Equality for Women !

Joyce simply refuses to say “cheese”.

Not sure why she has to have that hat tied under her chin. It looks heavy enough to stay put even during a hurricane.

“Portrait of Anne Howard-Vyse Kettle”, 1780

Trixie was not pleased after dad picked out her new dating dress

“I apologize, Reverend Mother, as I did not mean to upset you. I didn’t realize Bene Gesserit on this planet dressed differently.”

I put on lipstick for this?????? :)

Portrait of Anne Howard-Vyse: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Tilly Kettle" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Howard, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3281 (March 5, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment and reply pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by him have been used here, the February 23, 2022, strip being the prior.

wow… she looks really… um, whats the exact opposite of “Thrilled”?

Portrait of Mitch McConnell’s great, great-grandmother in one of her better moods.

Go ahead, try and knock it off. I dare you.

“I spent all morning fixing up my hair for this portrait, then the painter tells me to put on this stupid hat!”

No one knows what’s beneath her chapeau/Maybe eggs, a dozen or so/For she’s planning to bake/a poisonous cake/that will put an end to her beau.

Her expression is vapid and slow/one can tell she is far from aglow/ for her wedding band’s gold,/ but her bridegroom is cold/ And that hat is the star of the show.

Yes it’s a lot of material but it keeps the rain off.

“I sat for this portrait and all I got for it was this ridiculous bucket hat.”

The “look” made when you realize just how small the toilets are in the new Boeings.

No one mentioned that she is having a staring contest with each and every one of you.

I lost by the way.

That hat LOOKS like a kettle.

The Congresswoman felt sure the tinfoil hat would protect her from The Aliens’ mind control, but was still very afraid that “Jewish space lasers” might burn a hole in it…

And she looks sooooo happy!

Anne with her “I’m disappointed in you.” look.

Is that a shorty beer can in her left hand?

For Tuesday:

If you take a close look at this bust/

You will notice a look of mistrust/

For the lack of a body/

Begets treatment that’s shoddy/

When there’s nobody whom you can trust..///

A bust has no ghost of a chance/

Of being aware in advance/

Of what garments to wear/

To the evening’s affair/

(Though it knows it needs no shirt or pants)..///

Everything I wrote on this date has been deleted. I can restore some of it from copies on Steve’s blog. If my original posts are eventually restored, I will delete these duplicates.

/// Kettle’s Portrait of Anne Howard-Vyse,

(wedding portrait, to be more precise),

shows Anne sans her left glove

with her ring. Sign of love?

(Or a sign that she’s rolling the dice.)

/// One would think she should look overjoyed,

but she stares at us out of a void.

Is she mildly annoyed?

Has her world been destroyed?

No one knows— this was long before Freud.

/// Then, of course, there’s her ginormous hat,

which is roughly the size of a vat.

The same person would make

Anne’s hat and wedding cake.

(It draws eyes from her bust, which is flat.)

/// Money woes are why Anne’s looking grim.

Wed in white silk with rich ermine trim.

Swore she’d pay her own way,

but got fired today.

Now must charge her whole outfit to him.

/// From the age of fourteen she’s been working.

No one ever accused her of shirking.

Her most recent employer

had her work as a lawyer,

but she paid for her studies by twerking.

/// Painter Kettle, whose first name was Tilly,

had a handle that sounds (to us) silly.

Not “Matilda” cut short;

Kettle’s male, (a good sport).

He’d have blushed had his folks named him “Willie.”

/// In his mid-thirties, portraitist Kettle,

sailed to India where he would settle

for eight years, making art.

Then, for home he’d depart,

having proved he’s a fine man of mettle.

/// Tilly Kettle officially scores,

points for painting this portrait indoors.

Once before he had seen a

fish-face in a Cantina.

“It’s a trap!” Ackbar said in Star Wars.

(With the name Tilly Kettle, he could easily be _a minor character in the Star Wars universe.)_