Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 18, 2024

antisocial media

At least you aren’t giving a eulogy after someone loaded the wrong speech in the teleprompter.

It really is the least you could do.

Yeah, a phone-in.

They could just put a QR code on the stone and have a nice day, see ya later.

Gravestones are totally 20th century. Natural burial with GPS positioning should be the norm. Better to have a Wikitree profile that celebrates the person’s life, not the spot of a moldering corpse.

It gives ‘uploaded to the cloud’ new meaning.

If you like something about me tell me NOW, not later, when I can’t hear you.

What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.

Sad.

Google: QR code for headstones

Cemetary Selfies. ‘Wait wait, don’t fill it in yet!’ Titled: Repose with a rose. Horn hands and tongues out… probably not appropriate. But, then, I didn’t know Bob very well.

Our friends and family are spread up and down the east coast. Our eulogies are mostly pre-written, and an email list has been set up. When one of us passes the other will email the eulogy soon after the cremation.

AMF!

I’m a cemetery guide and one of my favorite epitaphs is on the marker of a pre-planner who is very much alive. The flat bronze marker bears her name, birth year , the image of a sunflower and the following; “See you later!”

The most important ‘pixels’ are those that reside in the minds and thought of those left to remember. That’s where the essence lies and QR codes aren’t up to that.

#I’m outta here!

We can Google Meet or Zoom our funerals from our couch.

And they’re not even millennials!

Most valid comic of the year.

Ah, if only they held a war, and nobody showed up because it was all done virtually online… wait, Star Trek: TOS did something like that decades ago.

o.k.

Cremation will become mandatory as they run out of space to bury the dead. But I guess that’s better than Soylent Green

They could get Diamond Lil to hold the eulogi.

And the people depicted here are mainly old folx, when the groups that are really tuned out from the real world are the ones who grew up after smartphones became ubiquitous. Jonathan Haidt’s new book The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness details why this phenomenon (plus overprotective parenting) has led to an alarming rise in anxiety, depression, overeating, cutting, paranoia, and suicide among young folx, specifically millennials and Gen Z.

Rather than tears at my graveside, I want some music.

I will force my friends to endure my love of music, one last time. A playlist? Strange you should ask.

In no particular order of favor…Laura Nyro, “When I die”

Queen “Who dares to love forever?”

Jackson Browne “The Loud Out and Stay”

Meh, if my friends or acquaintances didn’t care enough to come see me in life I’m not giving them a freebie guilt erase at my grave side. No funeral, VA will bury me and see you on the other side.

I want inexpensive sanitary disposal. No funeral, no memorial anything.

#R.I.P.BOB – coincidentally, the great comedian Bob Newhart passed away today.

Appropriate since Bob Newhart died today.

Are they writing or reading messages from the grave? Apparently he was something of an influencer.

Our Tweets and other embarrassments will outlive us. The question is really, do we care?

Neither of those are bad. Its not the realizing it that’s bad it’s that you didn’t do it from home.

I am so grateful that my dad’s funeral wasn’t like that.

Like and subscribe!