Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 22, 2024

I guess they decided not to go with, “Care for a cup of coffee for ten dollars?”

Ask a Stupid Question…At least Rat is honest…when it suits him.

When me goes to has coffee me goes to has coffee and not to has inane banter.

The guy looks as if he already knows how Rat’s day’s going. And everything else, too.

Business suddenly dropped off!

And don’t forget my $5 tip.

My pleasure…..

My pleasure…..

Rat is wearing a bow tie? I’d be in a foul mood also if I had to wear one.

My favorite response: “So far, so good, but the day is young.”

He could have gone with “Can’t complain”

Of course he’d follow it up with “Because my boss says I can’t complain about him to the customers”

Rat complains about Goat having a high paying job, when he himself can’t hold down a low paying job.

Turn in your bowtie, already!!

Basil Fawlty in rodent form.

It’s a common theme, employees resenting having to actually perform the job duties to get the paycheck they want.

Make my own coffee at home ;-)

Maybe Rat should have a script that he should repeat word-for-word.

I wouldn’t buy coffee from a place where they ask me to talk about my day when I just come to have some coffee.

If you’re needing coffee, you obviously don’t feel peopley. No need for small talk.

Reminded me of ‘Supernews!: It’s a Horrible Life’ animation. In it Dick Cheney is a greeter at Walmart. He would say to entering customers, "Welcome to Walmart. Merry Christmas! Go @#%* yourselves!

The Count thinks he saw that guy in a huge black SUV blocking J.D. Vance’s driveway. No kidding. And he didn’t wave back.

Having to work for a living forces one to do many things you’d rather not

Ah, lunkhead…my Dad’s favorite term of endearment.

They say honesty is the best policy…

Not quite the permissible response, Rat.

They are obviously unaware of how many K-Cups they can get for $10! Also, since they also usually have hydration water with them, there is not a problem with having the new desk top brewer. There is almost the same number of different flavors available.

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my cup of Joe

Honesty is usually the best policy. But Rat can take it to extremes.

I usually went with – “Exactly the same as yesterday only completely different.”

Rat’s parting shot made me LOL…

Similar to Kramer’s run-in with the bank teller who said “Hey” instead of “Hello”.

How is it that Rat is still working there? I know lots of places are short-handed, but they’d be better off short-handed than having Rat “helping” them.

I’ve had a problem with that phrase. I don’t always feel fine, but know people expect me to say so. On the other hand, Rat is part of that tiny cohort of people who should be paid not to work so they don’t toxify the workplace for those of us who are there to make our best effort.

I was in a major department store some years ago where the clerk at the register had to recite a long scripted greeting to every customer. I smiled and said that I knew she was required to say it, but it sounded artificial and whoever came up with had made a mistake. The next time I was there, the greeting was gone.

It being a roastery, aren’t the staff supposed to roast the clients?

For the third straight year,there is no Starbucks Eggnog Latte

Grin and greet within 8 feet

Better than being greeted with ’WELCOME IN!"

Well, at least they are now unionized against “the man.”

The got roasted. It is a roastery, after all.

I hate people asking questions for which they don’t want or expect and accurate answer

I’ve heard there’s a labor shortage, but they must be more desperate than the average business.

William Faulkner resigned as a postmaster in 1924 "As long as I live under the capitalistic system, I expect to have my life influenced by the demands of moneyed people. But I will be da**ed if I propose to be at the beck and call of every itinerant scoundrel who has two cents to invest in a postage stamp.

This, sir, is my resignation."

A little too honest, Rat.

Someone needs to fire rat.

The only reason Rat still has the job is that the manager hates the customers too.

As a rodent, Rat could be related to Foamy.

Reality, from Rat’s side of the window.

Who the heck would want a cup of coffee from a rat???

Workers of the world unite. You have nothing to lose but a cheap cup of tea. My cup doth not run over.

In real life, he would have had to make that same speech all over again, because that customer would have turned out to be all too typically deaf.

I would appreciate a candid barrista like that.