Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 26, 2023

Seems to be a lot of buzz about it

They don’t have to lose their patience and kill something

Have a smashing good time.

Now put a green light facing each way.

It’s fast food for scavengers. Much like McDonalds.

If you are cross at this crossroads, you cah cross off the rest of your life…

As a wise man once said – it is not the speed that kills you, but the sudden stop at the end.

Remember, the most dangerous part of any car is the nut that holds the steering wheel. ;-)

The accident is survivable - but not the heart attack upon seeing the hospital bill.

Our highway department actually makes decisions about where to work on safety by counting deaths and near deaths. (And other things, it’s true.) When I’m feeling mellow, that seems almost reasonable. When I’m filling anti-mellow it seems like people are dying to save money for the state.

When you’re at a cross in the road, take it.

When you’re at a fork in the road, have lunch.

I’ve had them sit in my old dead tree out back

Q: A police car, a fire truck, an ambulance, and a postal-delivery vehicle all approach the same intersection at the same time from 4 different directions. Which one has right of way?

Four British Gentlemen (or Gentlewomen) arrive at that cross-road, all four will give way “No, after you – I insist”…

As Yogi Berra said – “If you see a fork in the road, take it.”

Is the other street named: “Wherever”?

Whenever

Alphonse and Gaston! A: “After you!” G: “No, after you” etc.

A committee of vultures awaits the next careless driver.

Stop, Look, and Turn Around.

I’m remnided of a bar near where I used to work. There was a bar right before the office park that got refurbished and just as they were reopening, it was a cold day and driving into work there were four vulture sitting on the roof ridge. clearly they were just warming themselves but it looked really bad for a place where food was served

Parallel: Lawyers hanging around a Jersey circle.

We had local names for some intersections. We called the worse 5 Points. Back in my old days we had a point system for evaluations. Every thing we did had a point assessment. Tickets were 1 point. Intoxication arrests were 3. Fatal crashes were the highest…..so our worse intersections were named 5 Points…as that was the point assigned to Fatal crash incidents. If we had more than one we added compass directions. 5 Points NW and so on.

The intersection of “Whatever” and “Later”.

Clean up on Interstate 5

Neither shall go until the other has passed.

The cartoon is pretty much apropos but around here the vultures go for larger carrion but well away from roads. The crows and ravens however feed on death right in front of you. And yet they go hardly noticed at all. Crows and ravens are a lot like small versions of the Grim Reeper. Watch for those little buggers and you will know where the deer cross and where the humans need to pay more attention to what is going on around them before there are more tasty little tidbits

Road killed a buzzard dining on road kill while driving to work. Driving back home, two buzzards were roosting on a bridge I crossed. Swear they were giving me the stink eye.

“It was a four way stop dilemma. We all arrived the same time. I yielded to the man to the right of me and he yielded it right back to mine. Well the yield went around and around and around…… Refrain; They don’t know how lucky they areThey could have run into that treeGot struck by a bolt of lightningAnd raped by a minority” RIP John Prine, we miss you.

Please take a number. The new roundabout is going to cause some confusion.

We have one of those near our house.

How will self-driving Teslas etc. take it?

No matter which way to go it looks like doom.

Patiently waiting for the next course to be served. They know that none will be disappointed.

first huge multi-vehicle crash, those poles won’t be there.

Whatever does the other sign say?

By the time you can see the buzzards it’s to late to turn around.

Down to the crossroads at midnight and sell your soul to the devil! At least according to Robert Johnson, and later, Clapton.

Paris has no stop signs. People just know how to drive.

The intersection of Whatever and Whocares…

You get much the same result at a singles bar.

There’s a crossroads in Missoula, Montana, commonly called Malfunction Junction.

I recall when many rural crossroads were unsigned. In Full Throttle, Sir Henry Birkin advises that going faster through intersections reduces the risk, as you spend less time in them.

Where do y ou FIND buzzards and vultures?I’ve never seen one outside of a zoo.(Eastern Seaboard)

In some Southern states, it used to be the practice to put up a cross at intersections for every fatality at that location. It got to be too embarrassing because some of the intersections started to look like graveyards. It was decided the money would be better spent on safety improvements, as people had become inured to the crosses. :(

Physically Vultures; metaphorically Ambulance Chasers.

13 Vultures. Wiley, at least you know some of pay attention

Could be some intersections in our town. For a smaller than average place there are sure a lot of cars!

Corner of Whatever and Distracted.

At the cross road is where you make a deal with the crossroad witch or sell your soul to the Devil.

Aaahhh, the omenicity of the number- thirteen. (Whatever)

Once again, Wiley Miller shows he is running out of clever comic ideas.

There are no stop signs for either road.

A murder of crows, indeed. https://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/a-murder-of-crows-crow-facts/5965/

LOL!

There is a Bridge I used to cross back and forth to work.

One afternoon, I looked up and realized that there was at least one Buzzard perched on every single light pole, all the way across that bridge.

That was my first inkling that driving across that bridge might be a tad more dangerous than the usual commute via Interstate.

Over 100 Buzzards can’t all be incurable optimists.

In East Tennessee, it really doesn’t matter what the signs say anyway. For further detail: https://notepd.com/idea/rules-for-east-tennessee-driving-p5els

The danger is less from those intent on speeding through than from those they unexpectedly find hesitating and dithering at the crossing, wondering which road to take when there are no signs.