Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 07, 2024

I think Pig has made a new Expression!

I don’t know whether Pig is right or not, but I’d like to see someone try to put the horse back into the toothpaste.

Can you say that the toothpaste has left the barn?

You shouldn’t throw stones after you burn the bridge.

Depends on the size of the horse and the size of the toothpaste tube.

You can’t put the genie back in the barn.

Pig is not the sharpest bulb in the ocean.

I prefer mixed drinks.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the horse’s cart!

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the glass house.

Don’t worry Pig, we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.

You also can’t put the toothpaste back into the horse.

You can do it, Pig! Swing for the gold!

My favorite is from the TV show Angel. Harmony, the cheerleader turned vampire hearing Angel talking trash about her ex-boyfriend/sire Spike. “You’re preaching to the horse’s mouth.”

No, but you CAN give it pearly whites !!

Sounds like Crankshaft.

Pig’s not the sharpest hammer in the bag.

Pig is correct. Just not metaphorically.

That a meta joke eh Piggy.

people who live in a glass house have to answer the door

Pig’s putting the horse before the barn.

“You buttered your bread, now lie in it.”

And from The Little Rascals: “Birds of a feather throw stones together.“

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail, and face the situation.

We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it …

The pig that brokes horsies back eh.

You’ll be published when pigs fly, Pig.

Pig bit off more than the cart before the horse.

Well, the horse is really in the toothpaste now!

Pig is a mix master.

A bird in hand is a friend indeed.

Thanks Stephan, I needed this.

If the horse was standing in a barn with fetlock deep toothpaste on the floor, if the horse then left the barn, and if you led the horse back into the barn, you could indeed put the horse back in the toothpaste.

Granted, it’s not a common expression, but Pig was being creative.

I was ate before I was nine

A bird in the hand is worth it’s weight in gold!

Pastis didn’t want to try “Put the toothpaste back in the horse”, for the imagery.

A watched pot doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Too many cooks and not enough Indians

Don’t cross your bridges before they hatch

A stitch in time is worth two in the bush

People who live in glass house shouldn’t throw orgies.

I don’t recommend putting the toothpaste in the horse either.

It’s definitely time that expression did exist!

Pig can’t even mix meta-threes.

Ever notice people will give a penny for your thoughts but then you give them your two cents?

You can’t unring that bell pig.

Don’t worry Pig, we all do!!!

Oh, simple: Call a horse hypnotist. Guide the horse back into the tube using soothing suggestions and a pocket watch.

If horses were wishes, they’d ride beggars.

We have no time for amateurs, Pig. Leave the creation of word-salads to the professional politicians.

not a question

Don’t cry over spilt black kettles.

Professor said something like that in Literature-202. You can’t make a rolling stone stop with a pig’s ear.

You can lead a horse to a deworming, but to put the worms back you’ll need a bigger horse.

Once Elvis has left the building, all the King’s wild horses couldn’t drag him back in.

♬ You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd…

Don’t poke a pig to make it drink.

Don’t change a gift horse in midstream while looking in its mouth…

I think I’m gonna start saying, “You can’t put the toothpaste back n the barn,” now.

Several years ago (October 23, 2009) the New York Times ran a fun article about mixed metaphors called “All Roads Gather No Moss. A Rolling Stone Leads to Rome.”

MY favorite to say is “He’s not the sharpest bulb in the shed.”

It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.

If we can hit that bull’s-eye then the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards – Checkmate.

Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day.

That metaphor was getting a little long in the tooth anyway.

Have we metaphor? Perhaps back in our euphemism?

In the Army we said that the round is out of the tube, the metaphor referencing that the piece had been fired, the projectile was heading downrange & would land/explode somewhere, & it was too late to see whether it was aimed correctly.

I love to mix metaphors, but that’s a paint of a different color!

You can take the horse out of the toothpaste but you can’t take the toothpaste out of the horse.

people who live in glass houses, shouldn’t.

The 7th Doctor on Doctor Who did this.

People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. – Stan Laurel

people who live in glass houses shouldn’t be the one without sin

I only use toothpaste that has been through a horse’s tubes.