Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 28, 2022

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    BE THIS GUY  over 2 years ago

    Rat is not a glass half full kind of guy.

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    Renatus Profuturus Frigeridus Premium Member over 2 years ago

    While I write this comment present become the past.

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    SirKrunk  over 2 years ago

    Everything here will soon become the past

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    Bilan  over 2 years ago

    Either the Present was the Future in the Past

    or the Present will be the Past in the Future.

    I can’t figure out which one.

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    BasilBruce  over 2 years ago

    Give him an A and a hug.

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    pearlsbs  over 2 years ago

    The future isn’t what it used to be.

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    gbars70  over 2 years ago

    It’s the Crying Game!

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    Johnny Q Premium Member over 2 years ago

    “But Och! I backward cast my e’e,

    On prospects drear!

    An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

    I guess an’ fear!"

    —Robert Burns, “To a Field Mouse”

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    ronaldspence  over 2 years ago

    Rat takes all the fun out of the here and now!

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    Wilde Bill  over 2 years ago

    Why fail him? He is right.

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    Caldonia  over 2 years ago

    I don’t even know why Rat is in this class, and why it looks like a junior high assignment, if that.

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    AndreasMartin  over 2 years ago

    Transfer him to philosophy class (dark) instead.

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    RLG Premium Member over 2 years ago

    All wrong. The future is what you won’t have if you don’t give your wife a present because you forgot what happened on this day in the past.

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    nosirrom  over 2 years ago

    What about the NOW NOW?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNIwlRClHsQ

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    blunebottle  over 2 years ago

    “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” -Ford Prefect.

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    The Fly Hunter  over 2 years ago

    The future ain’t what it used to be.

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    Doug K  over 2 years ago

    The present is a gift. You can use it for regret and dread.

    … or you can learn from the past … to have a better future.

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    dlkrueger33  over 2 years ago

    Personally, I’d give that an “A+”

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    Count Olaf Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Present: The two pair of designer boots I gave to The Countess for her birthday last Sunday. She loved them, btw. :)

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    juicebruce  over 2 years ago

    Surprised Rat did not ask which dictionary to use …

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    iggyman  over 2 years ago

    “There is no yesterday, no tomorrow, only today” Janis Joplin !

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    Purple People Eater  over 2 years ago

    Present: What you get for Christmas and on your birthday.

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    jel354  over 2 years ago

    One gentleman at the end nearly looks like the Censor Guy.

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    Ignatz Premium Member over 2 years ago

    A razor thin slice of time so small it almost doesn’t exist. When you say the word ‘present,’ by the time you get to the ‘r,’ the ‘p’ is already in the past. The “present” is the infinitesimally small particle of time when the future (which doesn’t yet exist) becomes the past (which no longer exists).

    They failed me.

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    Yontrop  over 2 years ago

    The Anti-Buddhist.

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    some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Pass him. He’s not wrong.

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    DiminishedFirst  over 2 years ago

    You have to settle with the past, engage in the present, and believe in the future.Kate Baker, Cheaper by the Dozen 2

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    Ichabod Ferguson  over 2 years ago

    Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

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    Herd of Turtles  over 2 years ago

    He didn’t tense up taking the quiz.

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    Comicfan (C)  over 2 years ago

    Fail him

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    HOTLOTUS1  over 2 years ago

    aw rats, b+

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    F-Flash  over 2 years ago

    If only Rat had worn a bow tie, then he would be more believable.

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    monya_43  over 2 years ago

    Best to cry. Don’t fail Rat or y’all get hit in the head with a baseball bat.

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    rickseg  over 2 years ago

    So how long does the present actually last?

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    Ellis97  over 2 years ago

    Rat hasn’t been the same since Pig’s sister dumped him.

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    ozmodiar  over 2 years ago

    Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future.

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    JudyAz  over 2 years ago

    Didn’t think anyone smokes pipes anymore. Then again, it depends on what’s in it…

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    Rat has out done himself…no tears…

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    Snolep  over 2 years ago

    The past is just a goodbye. G. Nash

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    garcoa  over 2 years ago

    “For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.” But you are not dust now, so live with it.

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    Bookworm  over 2 years ago

    The Past is dust and ashes. The Present is sweeping up the past. The Future is holding the dust pan. (Rather bleak, I admit, but note that the Present and Future are the only ones doing anything. ;>D)

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    Cameron1988 Premium Member over 2 years ago

    A pipe? Who smokes a pipe anymore?

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    hoffquotes2  over 2 years ago

    Fail? It was spot on

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    The Orange Mailman  over 2 years ago

    I’m confused. Is it English 1B or English 18?

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    Blaidd Drwg Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Way too much over thinking here. Answer: yesterday, today, tomorrow.

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    Goat from PBS  over 2 years ago

    Rat tells it like he sees it. He just always sees it negatively.

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    Mentor397  over 2 years ago

    That definition really does fit all three words.

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    John Jorgensen  over 2 years ago

    Why is Rat taking an English class, again?

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    rugeirn  over 2 years ago

    Past, present and future are the phase transitions of time. The past is time in solid form; the present is time in liquid form; the future is time in gaseous form.

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    poppacapsmokeblower  over 2 years ago

    Fail him? H-e-double-hockey-sticks, NO! Rat is, in this instance, an honors student.

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    bunrabbit99  over 2 years ago

    nailed. it.

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    writerofstories  over 2 years ago

    Rat is more like “a glass thrown at your head” kind of guy!

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    bob-droid12  over 2 years ago

    Why fail? He got the past and future part right

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    mitchel.farr  over 2 years ago

    A+

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    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member over 2 years ago

    This is one of your best @StevenPastis.

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    Warhaft  over 2 years ago

    Actually, those are pretty cogent definitions.

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    willie_mctell  over 2 years ago

    I took English 1A and English 1B.

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    AndrewSharpe  over 2 years ago

    There is no present. As soon as you recognize it, it is the past.

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    Sanspareil  over 2 years ago

    At the end of time is the letter ‘e’.

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    albzort  over 2 years ago

    Nostalgic grammar: past perfect, present tense

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    smartman  over 2 years ago

    Fail him? Why? That’s a fairly accurate description of all 3.

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    Ren Rodee  over 2 years ago

    Anger is about the past. Fear is about the feature.

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    awgiedawgie Premium Member over 2 years ago

    You can’t fail him. He may have a macabre viewpoint, but he’s not wrong.

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    FrankSF Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Fail him? That’s an A+ answer if I ever saw one!

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    Otis Rufus Driftwood  over 2 years ago

    I thought this was English, not philosophy.

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    Mostly Water Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Having read through the comments, there is no reference to the dread of a nuclear conflagration in the future. When I was a kid we were trained to hide under our school desks. Unfortunately there is no longer a school desk for me to duck under anymore. These are really scary times.

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    Sisyphos  over 2 years ago

    English teachers cry a lot these days. A really big, big lot!

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    pamela welch Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Good one, Stephan!

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    klapre  over 2 years ago

    Why is that guy allowed to smoke in his office?

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    KEA  over 2 years ago

    a very common teacher reaction (take my word for it)

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    Mayor Snorkum  over 2 years ago

    This one actually made me laugh out loud. It’s so funny because it’s not funny at all.

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