Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 18, 2022

I believe that’s an assault charge at least.

Sticking it to everyone

Originally it was a Canadian concept known as “Boot to the head.”

Problem is, who is the judge and sticker.

Common sense used to handle that but it’s not so common anymore…

That’s the “first you have to get their attention” meme. And with mules, it’s been known to work… though not as well as making the mule WANT to work with you.

Not the head if they need to think, so if they don’t need to think then the head is effective. Don’t hit too hard, heads bleed a lot and that is messy. Try genitals, you don’t need to think with them.

Americans prefer guns.

Rat — always thinking of ways to improve life.

Yeah, I catch his drift…

Goat never thinks anything works this way, or even that way.

Life doesn’t work. Life happens. And it ends eventually.

Like head slaps …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_p0OC70sio

At least it would get their attention!

I like it. Stick to the head will keep people from going extreme right AND extreme left. Smack the Qanon and the Gender pronoun people.

I know a few people who might need a tap with a clue-by-four.

I can think of a few people who need to have one of those applied to them.

I came up with a similar: two-by-four therapy. Just need to make time to stop by the lumber yard.

Tony Stark: Peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy (Iron Man).

In the old days, they used to have something like that in some churches where sermons regularly ran a couple of hours. There were two men assigned to patrol the congregation with sticks. One had a ball on the end, the other a feather. If a man nodded off, the guy with the ball on a stick tapped him on the head. If a woman nodded off, the guy with a feather on the stick tickled her under the nose to wake her up.

The receptionist at our office used a verbal equivalent: “Give your head a shake!”

Where do I sign up?

Stop it, Rat. Too many people are already wielding sticks to hurt others they’ve judged.

Rat seems to misunderstand the Nudge Theory …

Somebody should hit Rat with that stick.

That is the oldest institution in human history: Law of government enforced by the man with the weapon.

Can I get one online?

How about a stick that whacks people on the head when they take their eyes off the road to stare at their $#!#^% phones?

Isn’t this what we do now with anti-social media: club each other with virtual sticks hoping against hope to make the other side see things our way? We fail miserably but I don’t think the success rate would be any higher with actual sticks.

Is that Rat’s alter ego talking, usually he has a baseball bat. Baseball been very very good to me.

Gaah how I hate self-driving cars. Yeah, a machine, an AI, can make better decisions than I can. For one thing it would lack intuition, something which has saved me many a time.

Okay, let’s be honest – the people who need the ‘stick to the head’ aren’t actually thinking with their head. You need to hit them 3 feet lower.

A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still — Dale Carnegie

The “gently” was dropped from Rat’s version.

RAT, who died and left you boss of us?

Who’s to judge whether behavior is good or not? People might see behavior differently than others.

I think this is, ow, ow – stop that!

Hate to admit it, but I’d enjoy having $5 for everyone who agrees with Rat!

The Culture’s slap robot.

That’s why we should all carry guns. /s

It should be required equipment on all politicians.

a stick isn’t strong enough. You need a big bat to influence others to steer right.

My late uncle cut a small piece of wood to the proper length and used it as a wedge for his older car which didn’t have cruise control. He’d put it in place when he reached the desired highway speed. Claimed he could easily knock it loose with his foot when needed.

Actor Fred Ward,of THE RIGHT STUFF and the TREMORS series,died May 8th.

When contacted,Kevin Bacon said—-“So sad to hear about Fred Ward.When it came to battling underground worms I couldn’t have asked for a better partner”.

Don’t you wish YOU had friends like that?

When I had my Mini Cooper in to the dealer for service, they gave me a BMW as a loaner car. The BMW had steering assist. I didn’t like it. If I had a car with that feature, I’d figure out how to turn it off.

Is this the successor to the Car Talk Dope Slap?

Me! :-)

“Stick to the head” is not a sign you want to see in the lavatory.

Indeed!

How about the Gibbs’ back the head slap?

ARREST THAT CRITTER! Here in the USA, we are free to be stubborn, stiff necked, pig headed, and wrong.

no it shouldnt rat remember the wordle stripill whack you with dat mallet

Where can I buy them wholesale?

The new Stick – apply directly to the forehead!

Can it be a built-in?

Why is it that the best ’’Pearls’’ strips always involve Rat?

Rat – there’s over 500 test subjects awaiting your trial studies in Washington D.C.

My grandfather had something similar. He called it “A Boot to the Ass.” Highly effective!

Is this stick named cancel culture?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9g1Z3V0QBpg

No, it should not. Certain individuals would use it. Technicsally they’ve bren using a metiphorical stick to the head for decades, and getting away with it.

Monty Python slapped people with fish.

Sorry Rat, but The Frantics (Canadian Comedy Troupe) beat you to that idea by at least a couple of decades with ‘Boot To The Head’ (See ‘Ti Kwan Leep’ and ‘Last Will And Temperament’)

I tend to support Rat’s idea (as long as he’s not administering guidance to me)!

when you’re right, you’re right.

Woah! The front view of the bar! Pastis got adventurous!

So, everyone should be violently restricted to one narrow path determined by others? Good bye creativity and imagination!