Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 19, 2022

In the event of an emergency landing, put your head between your knees and kiss your a s s goodbye.

Or,basically, any airline.

And just like in real life, it won’t do you a lick of good.

If you are fat, don’t inflate your life vest before going through the exit door.

I’m wondering if Wiley ever flies. Everyone is in an armchair rather than an airline seat. Can’t see anyone putting luggage underneath that seat in front.

Old and weak aren’t able to breed anyway, so they don’t count at all in Darwinian* terms!

‍*  Note that Darwinism actually applies to secondary and even further distant effects. Old folks, for instance, are a potential resource for teaching, explaining, remembering what did (not) work, etc. Maiden aunts and uncles have a similar value, including “baby sitting” thus increasing the odds that half their genes live to grow up and breed.

Those seats actually look comfortable.

Where’s the screaming kid that always sits near me

I would run over and stomp on the heads of the ones retrieving their luggage from overhead during emergency escape. AND if I have time I’ll kick them again

For a very brief period I was on the dole… Several of us were temporarily employed by an aeroplane designer… They had a mock-up plane body from which we had to escape as quickly as possible… As an incentive we received double the daily rate if we were among the first five out… If that involved stepping on heads… one stepped on heads…

They should have no assigned seats – they can compete for each seat.

“Ideally” there would be fewer seats than the number of passengers.

No doubt award-winning service.

Don’t worry. They only crash land on the Galapagos Islands.

Oddly, it also seems to reflect Republican political philosophies as well.

Most passengers seem too old to run anywhere except to the facilities, which is usually out of order.

Isn’t what she’s advising what most people would do, anyway??

“If we happen to splash down in the Arctic 0cean, grab a nearby ice floe to ride until rescued. Kick off any old and sick that have survived to get aboard the floe. There’s a proper time and place for that old tradition.”

A.K.A. The Hawley technique?

Sorry to say this is life the world over now days!

I just pray “Sully” and Jeff Skiles are at the controls.

Actually, Herbert Spencer – but nobody would get the joke.

fusilier, waxing pedantic

James 2:24

Odd how “Darwinian” Airlines seems so in tune with “GOP” Airlines.

Stifle your survival instinct. Even if you get out alive, the new Covid strain will get you. Just sit back and enjoy the fact that you were spared a slower, more agonizing end.

New aircraft have larger comfortable seating. Passengers then demand that model aircraft. The smaller cheap seats are installed when the plane is older and resold to budget airlines.

Why is it that describing reality is always so much more terrible than explaining instructions?

“In the event of a water landing…Am I mistaken? Or does this sound this sound somewhat similar to crashing into the ocean?” George Carlin

And in the event of a water landing, pull the cord on your life jacket as soon as you put it on…

Truth!

Darwinian Airlines just merged with Objectivism Airlines.

Looking over that crowd, there appear to be at least two separate species of humanoid aboard. There are several Tolkienesque trolls scattered around — just check out the second row from the front, left side.

In practice, the “weak, elderly” person grabs your ankle, you fall, both of you block the aisle and no one gets out of the ball of flame. Keep your head.

Trump-Air?

I’ve never understood all the screaming on a crashing plane in the movies. Really, would people really find any point in screaming in that situation?

Darwinian Airlines: “… and in the event of an emergency landing, wonder if I gave you the right instructions at all, so you’ll stay trapped in here and I have a free path to escape”

“Oh,by the way,does anyone here know how to fly a plane?”

I think she is just saying what people are going to do anyway. I listened to a police show recently and the police wanted to get on the plane before people deplaned and they were obviously police and everyone was still standing in the aisles after they’d been told to sit down numerous times. They finally had to scream at them to sit back down.

Is that George Costanza in the third row?

And thanks for flying RepubliQan Air.

and those overhead bins look like the upper berths in an old tyme Pullman Coach … room for two sleepers. lol

Of course this gets even worse when those “old and weak” take time to grab their overheads before they exit and slow everybody down! Never mind when the 480 pound hippo thinks they can fit through that exit over the wings…

People are saying Elon Musk is trying to buy it. He likes their business plan.

A stampede at the Hajj everyday

Doesn’t matter where you run to. Everyone is going to die.

If you’re in the front seat, you’d better have starting blocks.

Somehow it harkens back to covid.