Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 29, 2023

Rat, you rock.

In the end, Rat regained his work despite yesterday’s interview.

Rat needs to work the answer line at a government agency, he would fit right in!

Guy’s nose looks like Rat already kicked it.

The only correct answer is to sell him the item with the highest profit margin. Of course Rat’s not the owner so why would he care?

Give me a cup of black coffee, none of the hoopla and I’m good. $1.00 you say.

To kick him in the nose, Rat should just climb on the counter.

This works well at a bar; order say, a whiskey drink – tell the keep to mix up something interesting.

They usually enjoy this.

Just sell him the most expensive thing on the menu.

I wish I could say Rat is wrong. Alas.

From NOT ALWAYS RIGHT:

A Decaf Gaff

I’m ordering at a popular coffee chain.

Me: “One [Seasonal Specialty Drink made with ice] with no coffee.”

The barista marks it down on the cup and goes to make it. When I receive the drink, it looks very suspiciously like coffee is in it. Note: This drink does have a layer of chocolate syrup in it.

Me: “Does this have coffee in it?”

Barista: “No, that’s just the chocolate syrup.”

I’m not convinced, so I take a sip before I leave. It most certainly has coffee in it.

Me: “I really think this has coffee in it.”

Barista: “Oh, I just made it with decaf.”

He remade my drink after that, and I got a coupon for a free drink.

if you look for idiots you will find idiots.

Before the day is done, Rat will have done some disservice.

THIS IS ME

I agree with Rat. Hmmm, that felt weird to say.

Hey, but he does give many customers a good fit! :D

SSSSNNNNNAAAAAAP!!

In the second block, it looks like the customer grew a couple inches as rat studded up to him

I don’t think that customer even came close to rising to the level of idiocy you just assaulted him with, Rat. Get over yourself.

Happy National Coffee Day

https://www.nationaldaycalendar.COM/national-day/national-coffee-day-september-29

I just love the RAT : )

A Carmel Apple Mocha with extra spit coming right up.

Uh, rat – you do realize you’re on the clock yeah? You really have a hundred other things your employer needs you to be doing right now?

I recommend what is ever easiest for me to prepare.

Wait till you see the customers at Target.

Extra large, black, no room for cream.

Guess which one he can do without!

Some people are not cut out for this type of work.

Trust me. I’ve worked in customer service for years.

I worked in the food industry for a long time. Once, a friend of mine came to the restaurant I was working in, so I stepped out of the kitchen long enough to say hi. He asked what I would recommend. I told him I knew this place just down the street that served an awesome pizza!

Just recommend the most expensive option you think the guy can afford, like the guy who sold me my car.

Instructions from the owner of the Phillips 66 service station who gave me a job as a teen in 1957: “Don’t let anyone tell you the customer is always right. But never forget the customer is always the customer.” Still good advice, Rat.

I am with Rat on this one..

One Rat Special it is…black coffee (the cheapest thing they have – made from the cheapest beans, of course), with a significant surcharge added for the recommendation. That’s one way to get customers to decide. Oh, and don’t forget the $5/minute surcharge for “waiting until you are asked what you want before starting to decide”

When it takes longer to order the drink than it takes to make the drink, it’s time to go home and drink tap water.

There was a hotdog stand on Wabash avenue that had a similar attitude; If you hesitated telling them your order, they’d take the next person behind you & tell you to go to the end of the line & not waste their time. “We have hungry people here waiting for you to make up your mind!”

Go, Rat, GO!!!

It’s not what SAM would do!

The customers are NOT always right! But no reason to kick him in the nose!

I just love rat. I don’t tolerate idiots well either. I would never survive in a customer service position.

Small dark roast coffee, black. But that’s at least three things that Rat could screw up.

Just give him a plain cup of coffee

You missed a trick here Rat. Just recommend the simplest item to make and be done with him.

Ah, that’s the Rat we know and…love? He was goin’ soft there for a while.

Excuse me, the customer said … He didn’t really care … Whatever I recommend.

The Customer is Always Right, so I gave him my recommendation. Also from the looks of his nose, I am not the first to tell him.

There’s a gal in our town who works at a grocery store who can be like Rat on some days, so if I ever frequent that store, I line up at a different checkout. (I’m guessing PMS??)

Oh Rat, if they leave it up to you, just give them the easiest thing to make.Yeah, I know, that’s not as funny, but …

Just what we need in the morning…more threats of violence!

He should try the OTHER coffee . . . TEA.

Serve the problem customers Postum and see if they can tell the difference

I am 100% with Rat on this. If you don’t care what you get, why the bleep should I? You would get either the easiest thing I can think of, the most disgusting thing I can think of, or the most expensive thing I can think of, depending on my mood. So just tell me what you want.

My pop, a gas station manager, added a Trailer Rental Division in the early 1950s. It became his main business Decades later I was joined to this Family Enterprise. A customer returned complaining about the trailer he had loaded to the brim with rolls of sod. The tires rubbed holes through the steel fenders. He weighed one roll and loaded to our weight limit using his erroneous result. I helped unload it on the hottest, highest dew point of the year. Upon college graduation, I took the position which placed me as far from the public as possible.

I would have first asked if he liked his coffee plain or dressed up. If he answered dressed up, the sky is then the limit, a 20 oz white chocolate mocha with an extra shot (and that’s just to start)…..

Didn’t think they rehired him.

Get into a business with a non moronic product. If there someone asks for your recommendation chances are you can hit him pretty hard in the wallet and no one will complain.

“I’ll have a half-double decaf half-caf with a twist of lemon.”

If you get one like that, pour him a cup of regular black coffee. He is suffering decision paralysis.

The customer isn’t ALWAYS right.

Rat, much to his own relief, believes he is doing a Good Job. And in a sense he is right….

Two things: 1. I worked in a factory (making paper cups) right out of high school, then worked retail the rest of my career. I much preferred the factory because the machines didn’t care if you were having a bad day, and they never said “smile!”). 2. In retail, many customers, and coworkers, often commented on my pleasant manner, even to rude customers. However, it’s a good thing they couldn’t read my mind.