Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 16, 2024

It’s easier to return if you don’t open it.

Well at least you is let that cat outta the bag Rat.

It can’t be easy to admit that you’ve been whipped by Ikea.

Actually I can totally identify. IN fact I have a nice big wooden bookshelf that still in its original box that’s so old I can’t remember when I got it. 10 years ago? 15?pro-cras-ti-na-tion

Step 1) open box

Step 2) remove instructions

Step 3) attempt to read instructions – look at stuff in the box – check instructions again.

Step 4) put instructions back in box, tape box shut. Go have a beer or 3. Forget about the d@mn bookcase.

Too much tape? Is it the fiber-infused tape?

I believe it was Ron White saying his Grandfather looked at him and said “That boys got a whole lot of quit in him.”

If at first you don’t succeed, do NOT take up sky diving.

If at first you don’t succeed , try try again, then quit and get tanked!!

………….Steve Dallas!

“If at first you don’t succeed, call an expert!”

You can use it as is, as an end table.

Don’t start what you can’t finish.

Rat could ask Goat to build the bookshelf…never mind

How hard could it be, after all a shelf is only a single piece of wood, unless they gave you a seed,

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a [darn] fool about it.” ~ W. C. Fields

If all else fails, read the directions…

bin der, dun dat

Kinda like my 3D printer……

I’m with you Rat….I’d have no ikea how to put it together either!

Rat is the biggest quitter I’ve ever seen. He quits before he even starts.

“If at first you don’t succeed, quit, quit at once.” – Stephen Leacock

He’s mechanically inclined. He screws up everything.

I belong to the club “filled” with folks that directions as a personal challenge.

I wonder if there is overlap among the two groups populated by folks who find math and directions too hard.

Maybe I’m the oddball here, but I like assembling furniture. I enjoy seeing the finished product come together out of all the pieces.

Reminds me of the soda machine I bought.

Rat decided he needed an ottoman more than a bookcase.

IKEA should send people to do it for you. DIFY, if you will.

I’m not ashamed to admit that my wife is the construction engineer, carpenter, mechanic, and plumber in our house!

The “instructions” are just a diagram with pictures. Since so many of the parts look alike, it’s easy to put it together backwards. Trust me.

>sigh< I have a rebounder with a handrail that is partially out of the box in the corner of my workout room in about 50 pieces that I got about 4 years ago. Someday I’ll figure out how to put it together.

I built most of my furniture from scratch.

The 3 little words that strike terror into the hearts of people: Some assembly required.

Frustration comes quickly for Rat.

A giver upper influencer

Come on, Rat, you can do it!

Future IKEA employee he is not.

Looks like Schoedinger’s box to me.

I have a problem with getting started, and I have a problem of quitting when something is not quite done but “good enough.” (sigh)

A chipmunk who takes in food for his cheeks without chewing it “sucks seeds”.

It could be he looked at the instructions online before the package arrived.

My boss once bought an “Assemble it yourself” storage cabinet and asked me if I minded putting it together. I opened the box and dumped it out on the floor in the back and saw (per instructions) that it had roughly 130 parts (this includes various fasteners). I respectfully reported back that “I minded.” We got a pre-assembled one instead.

You don’t need to assemble the shelf. Just set your books on the box, and you are done.

Maybe he looked up the instructions and found them daunting? I’ve done that on occasion.

Watch the how to YOUtube video, they can be useful.

A man’s got to know his limitations.

The tape is just really strong.

I’m a general contractor, you would not believe how many people have hired me to put their Ikea stuff together

The Danish often add extra hardware to confuse us Americans. (As told to me by Kirsten, my Dane sister-in-law who says Vikings never had horned helmets.)

I’ve got nothing for this.

If all else fails, read the directions

And on Christmas Eve, there’s a time limit besides!!

If procrastination were a super power, I’d be a god.

That probably would’ve been the end result regardless.

quit now and avoid the rush

I’ve always enjoyed solving puzzles. DIY furnishings are just a bigger version.

Put the books on the box.

Was it that exhausting to wait for the box to be delivered?

Hey, Rat? Any relation to Bounty paper towels … the Quilted Quicker Picker-Upper?

There you go, fail forward fast.

Randy Feltface saved time and bought himself a bookshelf on Gumtree. It’s quite a story.