Just call everyone John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. His name is your name too. The techie moles won’t know what’s going on. (:Makes as much sense as Rat).
This is probably a good idea to use over at Facebook. These days, anything you say in normal language gets censored or “fact-checked,” no matter how valid it may be.
Actually it’s not paranoid. Last night I was eating dinner with my wife suddenly my Apple Watch started to say something like I can help you with at. This isn’t the first time it’s done that. Another time I was talking about brother and the Apple Watch asked if I’d like to send him our conversation. And don’t get me going on the other eavesdropper Alexa
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking.
So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.
So we finish eighteen and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey! Lama! Hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.”
I hate to tell you, Rat, but that’s not your own language. According to Google Translate, it’s the Afar language, used in parts of Africa. What you said in the last panel means “Stupid Farfoo Soft Clam” in English.
They do have a listening mode when the assistant software is active. I’m sure that can be abused. Solution, no Alexa, no Siri and keep your phone in your backpack / purse.
BasilBruce about 2 months ago
Wackadoo.
salakfarm Premium Member about 2 months ago
Not to mention Klaatu barada nikto.
carlsonbob about 2 months ago
Just call everyone John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. His name is your name too. The techie moles won’t know what’s going on. (:Makes as much sense as Rat).
tudza Premium Member about 2 months ago
Those are just Star Wars character names.
Robin Harwood about 2 months ago
Good, healthy, paranoia is an essential survival tactic. They are out to get you, even if you don’t believe it.
PaulAbbott2 about 2 months ago
Easy for you to say
A Common 'tator about 2 months ago
Why do you think Cockney came into existence?
noahproblem about 2 months ago
Where’s the Comics Censor? I’m pretty sure you can’t say “Farfoo” in a comic strip…
lavender headgear about 2 months ago
I put a piece of masking tape over the camera when I’m not using it. Not much I can do about the microphone.
californiamonty about 2 months ago
Subite mi demandas min, ĉu Doktoro Zamenhof estis paranoja krom geniulo.
jonnytest about 2 months ago
You can’t just say “lembot” whenever you want! That’s just nasty!
Gent about 2 months ago
Rat is so verminacular.
minty_Joe about 2 months ago
Just learn how to back-mask all your words. That’s how they snuck hidden messages into famous songs; lots of backwards messages.
willispate about 2 months ago
sorry, my translator’s on the fritz.
iggyman about 2 months ago
Alktay Otay Igpay!
The Old Wolf about 2 months ago
This is probably a good idea to use over at Facebook. These days, anything you say in normal language gets censored or “fact-checked,” no matter how valid it may be.
Doug K about 2 months ago
Em-klay embot-lay obo-bay arfoo-fay? … … O-may o-nay!
Kaputnik about 2 months ago
I don’t know, seems a bit farfootched to me.
markkahler52 about 2 months ago
Mekka lekka hi, meeka hiney ho !
Egrayjames about 2 months ago
“Ganga Ganga Gang Galoonga!”
win.45mag about 2 months ago
Wasn’t Bobo a clown…….can’t quite place him, but the name rings a bell
Slowly, he turned... about 2 months ago
oo ee. oo ah ah, bing bang walla walla, bing bang
jel354 about 2 months ago
I hope Rat provides an answer key for his key acquaintances.
akachman Premium Member about 2 months ago
Preach it, Rat!
RobinHood about 2 months ago
“I always feel like, somebody’s watching me.”
Procat Premium Member about 2 months ago
In the last panel it sounds like rat is running for president again, when asked about his policies he will enact if elected.
Skippy the Magnificent about 2 months ago
You’re not paranoid if they really are after you.
Ellis97 about 2 months ago
Whatever it translates to, it’s probably something insulting.
Count Olaf Premium Member about 2 months ago
Rat just said “Let’s Go, Brandon”
2Goldfish about 2 months ago
Na-noo, na-noo!
chris_o42 about 2 months ago
Rat, maj, jIyaj. majQa!
Huckleberry Hiroshima about 2 months ago
Nyiff-nyiff narrafenblaphul. Schmock!
rickseg about 2 months ago
Mairseedotes and doeseedotes and little lambseedivy.
wongo about 2 months ago
Translation: “Your mother sleeps with rabid wolverines”.
aerotica69 about 2 months ago
Just don’t try speaking Klingon – everyone in “Big Tech” already knows that language.
mindjob about 2 months ago
Once they get a hold of that Universal Translator, the gig will be up
Queen of America about 2 months ago
The only thing my phone camera will catch is me playing with the foster kittens or the inside of my purse.
Ozzman25 about 2 months ago
Yah a dab will do
DanMoran1 about 2 months ago
May I mambo dog face to the banana patch? -credit Steve Martin
esg1981 about 2 months ago
Google Translate detects “klem lembot bobo farfoo” as Afar language, which in English is “soft clamp stupid farfoo”.
ladykat about 2 months ago
What Rat said.
Dapperdan61 Premium Member about 2 months ago
Actually it’s not paranoid. Last night I was eating dinner with my wife suddenly my Apple Watch started to say something like I can help you with at. This isn’t the first time it’s done that. Another time I was talking about brother and the Apple Watch asked if I’d like to send him our conversation. And don’t get me going on the other eavesdropper Alexa
Radish the wordsmith about 2 months ago
Sigur Rós Rat
txmystic about 2 months ago
Chaka! Chaka Chaka Chaka!
Goat from PBS about 2 months ago
I’ll take that as a no and a sharp insult.
txmystic about 2 months ago
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking.
So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.
So we finish eighteen and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey! Lama! Hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.”
So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
DaBump Premium Member about 2 months ago
I was going to say something about Klingon or Esperanto, but I see I’m late to the party.
gorbag about 2 months ago
I believe “Newspeak” from Orwell’s 1984 covers the horror that redefining language by the government (or political parties for that matter) can cause.
walstib Premium Member about 2 months ago
As a youth, “A Clockwork Orange” was my favorite movie (after “Duck Soup”), but the alternate language annoyed me. And the book was even worse.
Keno21 about 2 months ago
Oo ee, oo ah ah. Ting tang, walla walla bing bang!
[Anonymous Account] about 2 months ago
I do that too except it’s because I need an invented language for my Fantasy epic. Cea nor calren Rael. (All the lesser mortals fear me)
Bilan about 2 months ago
It won’t work. The NSA has a language translation department.
The Brooklyn Accent about 2 months ago
Goo goo g’joob!
kaffekup about 2 months ago
The most suspicious people nowadays are the ones that speak foreign languages, Rat.
zeexenon about 2 months ago
Igpay atinlay oryay atray atinlay?
omegasupreme about 2 months ago
well I can still talk to rat using the Universal greeting Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.
toddqwilliams about 2 months ago
Wooh! Watch the language!!
Buoy about 2 months ago
I think Rat said, Go eff yourself sheep.
CatDefender about 2 months ago
Simlish!
FRITH RA about 2 months ago
What? Nothing about eels and hovercrafts?
willie_mctell about 2 months ago
When I worked in a pizza parlor I wished the employees had a secret language.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] about 2 months ago
Oh,Maha?AHA!!
Rasganyabettafafoochie…dat frogface,,,,you gotta something,kiddo?
Roscoe about 2 months ago
Covfefe, covfefe, covfefe.
dimndno about 2 months ago
I’m only paranoid cuz everyone’s spying on me.
Katje about 2 months ago
Kartoffel stammpot lemme eet.
JoeMartinFan Premium Member about 2 months ago
Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop!
JoeMartinFan Premium Member about 2 months ago
Rat already said too much in panels 2 and 3.
Chris Sherlock about 2 months ago
I hate to tell you, Rat, but that’s not your own language. According to Google Translate, it’s the Afar language, used in parts of Africa. What you said in the last panel means “Stupid Farfoo Soft Clam” in English.
aerilim about 2 months ago
I turn off my phone at 5PM everyday..
eddi-TBH about 2 months ago
They do have a listening mode when the assistant software is active. I’m sure that can be abused. Solution, no Alexa, no Siri and keep your phone in your backpack / purse.
thedogesl Premium Member about 2 months ago
“Spreak Engrish twoops!”
HA! about 2 months ago
Flea, flea fly flo, vista, cumola cumola cumola vista, no no no not la vista!
whelan_jj about 2 months ago
Since no-one can understand your invented language anyway, I have a simpler solution: Keep your mouth shut and never say anything.
Strawberry King about 2 months ago
This ratty is batty.
Swirls Before Pine about 2 months ago
Not when my phone’s battery is dead, which is often.
pantograph about 2 months ago
Navajo code talkers worked great in WW II.
Ceeg22 Premium Member 27 days ago
Shaka, when the walls fell