For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for January 17, 2025

Oh, Elly. No one pays attention to your hair. Your best feature is your nose.

Bodyshaiming is a bad bad thing

My wife is one of those lucky people whose hair looks fabulous no matter how she has it styled. Me? On 2003 I decided to shave my head, and I’ve never been happier with my hair.

When your spouse asks “Do these pants make my butt look big?”, worse response ever is “It’s not the pants”……..

Some men are so superficial that they would dump their wives/GF’s if they cut their hair or had a mastectomy. Luckily, John isn’t like that.

Elly, you don’t go around and ask people, including your husband, what you should do with your hair. It is YOUR hair. Find something YOU feel comfortable and good about. It is YOU who has to wear the style every day, have to style it, and decide how much time you want to invest in styling it. Do you want to also invest time in dyeing your hair every 6 weeks? Invest time to go to the hair salon every 8 weeks to keep up with the hairstyle you chose? Those questions helped ME decide nope. I’m not gonna style it every day, color it every 6 weeks, and go to the hair salon for trims every 8 weeks. I left it long and the hair parted in the middle and let it go gray naturally after some 20 years of dyeing it. It’s the best decision ever.

Evidence of a couple still in love. She asks the opinion of the one she loves the most. He gives the one he loves the most the space to choose.

Eeeee-YUP!

And to avoid those your dadgum if you do and dadgum if you don’t…

I did that too, gave up dying it and let it grow out, until I decided to cut it short. Sometimes long hair on women a certain age, ages them. My hair was long down the middle of my back. I got tired of it. Once cut, every stylist in the place said my short hair made me look younger. My husband loves long hair, but, he supported me when I cut it and loves it short too. Do what’s best for you, not someone else.

Good answer. I always tell my wife, “Honey I married YOU, not your [hair/outfit/glasses/whatever].”

From Lynn’s Comments: Around this time, readers were after me to change Elly’s hair. The argument was that she was looking like an aging hippy and needed an upgrade. As I did these strips, I really was trying to decide what to do here. Changing Elly’s hair would change the character. Could I still draw Elly to look like Elly if her hair was different?

I remember this part before, when it was printed. Elly goes to the hair salon and gets, what I call, the hairdresser from hell. Poor Elly gets the strangest hair style with this stylist. Maybe this part will come up again, I hope. My hair stylist loved it when I showed her the strip after it came out.

Yep, being non-committal keeps you out of getting ‘a lot of cold tongue’ while taking a stance and committing gets you the ‘cold tongue’ for up to six months ! ! ! !

Elly is wanting John to make the decision. If she gets her hair cut and she doesn’t like it, it will be John’s fault and she won’t be held accountable for John’s decision.

Good answer, Jon!

Then there’s the classic, “does this dress make me look fat?” Every man KNOWS that she does NOT want an honest answer.

Noncommittal because of loaded questions.

My sister did ask her husband about her hair, used to be longer much younger, how he wanted her hair he said long I assume, now much older not growing that long, she wear a wig on top of her head when going to church, as she and husband are vendor’s wear that wig then at conventions for vendor’s to see the product, then she changed and not cut her hair short, uses a curling iron. For me we married 43 years ago and my hair was shoulder length, as we got older I never asked my husband how he prefers my hair, when I reached 45 decided enough cut short, and I keep it short and I am my mid 60’s I no longer color my hair.

That’s a marital minefield. Non-committal answers are the only path through it. The odds of being able to guess the answer to the question she asks that matches up exactly with the decision she’s already made are vanishingly small and the penalties for a wrong guess are too gruesome to contemplate.

Elly, just get your boobs done, then no one will notice your hair. Problem solved, John will be happy and there would be a new story line for the first time in many, many years.

Smart guy, John… Love the old CRT computer monitor, too.

I’m happily getting my hair cut for 1st time in 6 months. My husband will barely notice the 4 inches missing but say it looks nice no matter what. HA!

That computer looks a lot more like a leftover from the 90s than Elly’s hair does.

Now she has the go ahead to shave her head and join a religious cult

Poor John. If he gave a concrete answer either way, it would be the wrong one.

That would be funny if there was an FBOFW comic in the 1960s, such as this:

Elly: Elizabeth, you have had a stinky attitude and bad grades these past couple of weeks. For that you are not allowed go to the movies.

Elizabeth: No fair!!! What if you were told you could not watch the landing on the Moon?

Flashback to 1969

Neil Armstrong: That is one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.

Jim{clapping hands}: Bravo, men, bravo!

Marian: Oh sure, Jim. While I am cleaning and slaving over a hot stove you are sitting there on the couch in front of the idiot box! What does that have to do with Canada?!

Phil is lounging in a bean bag chair wearing headphones

Phil{singing to himself}: Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy!

Elly is shown in her room, which is darkened and full of psychedelic posters, where she is about to shoot up

“Yes, dear.”

Only SOMETIMES?……

John’s no fool, and yes dear, your but does look big ! ;-)

John is repeating what every smart husband knows … whatever opinion you offer will somehow come back to bite you.

If you’re committed to maintaining a happy marriage and a tranquil life, then it’s always better to err on the side of diplomatic ambiguity and political circumspection.

See I like how Lynn understands how men know the game- she knows that a smart man knows that saying “No I want it long” is gonna be making the wife very bitter when A) she cuts it short anyways despite what he said, or B) when she doesn’t cut it and mourns wistfully “what could have been”.

“Do I look fat in this dress?” …. Actually means: “We haven’t had a fight in a while”.

Other punchline choices were:

Sometimes, one’s engagement with marriage means being disengaged.

Sometimes, one’s enjoyment of marriage means being dis “joy” nted.

Sometimes, one’s adherence to marriage means no hearing.

Sometimes, one’s duty to marriage means making a doody.

Sometimes, one’s dedication to marriage means being a dead head.

I’d like you with no hair at all? …Sorry, blurry vision

I asked Jason and his words were “I will still desire you and love you if you grow it out so I can run my fingers in it, or shave it off so I can stroke your bald head. Just do what makes you happy and I will be happy.”