Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for January 16, 2025

Elvis could be right.

Ha! 4th panel, reading upside down, “Step 4: Do not remove printer from box.” LOL

“Do not remove printer from box”. Clearly the best advice.

Yes Elvis. It is Satan. And Step 4 is the first honest information from the instruction manual.

“Is it Satan?” Ooh, is Dana Carvey’s church lady character going to make an appearance?

These cats have a concept of Satan? Why do I get the feeling that for cats, Satan is just a cat who bites anyone who tries to pet him? (And manufactures low quality printers).

Satan, Hewlett-Packard. Hard to tell the difference.

Oh, wow, was Uncle Snipe’s comment, yesterday, prescient!!!

Oof. That second panel is too real. Take it away.

I’m not sure if they need Burt or the Terminator at this point…

“Step 4: Do not remove printer from box.”

Laughed out loud!

Step 5: Insert maximum number of cats into the impossibly small box.

As long as you never open the box, it is Schrödinger’s printer. It either works or it doesn’t!

Yes, she has dealt with printers before. Mine behaves for hubby and not for me. I should tell it I have powerful friends at the electric company.

Love the instructions sheet that Puck is reading – Do not remove from the box. It should add – return to store.

I needed a printer while I was sorting out estate matters in England. I bought an HP and successfully connected it (wirelessly) to my iPad. Printed out all the things I needed to print. When everything was finished, I packed it in with the other things I was sending back to Australia. Got it here. Tried a new ink cartridge.Nope.I needed to get some software from the local HP to reprogramme it so that it would accept the ink distributed in Australia. It’s possible to reprogramme DVD players so they will play DVDs from all regions, and you can usually find the instructions on the internet. But printers are a different story.

They need an interface operator. Calling Tortimer!

No, Satan has some standards.

Anyone else hearing Dana Carvey saying Elvis’ last line?

I don’t see Lupin. Did anyone check the button that made the man scream?

I’m trying to get into Linux, via virtual machines. I installed VirtualBox and it failed repeatedly, giving me useless error messages. In frustration, I installed VirtualBox’s competitor, VMWare. It too failed, but gave me a useful error message: Check BIOS for Virtualization settings. Apparently the internal sorcery that allows for virtual machines is turned off by default on my laptop. Restarted, went into the BIOS settings, found the appropriate settings and flipped them to “on”. Boom goes the dynamite.

Here’s hoping the woman finds her useful error message soon!

We once bought an Australian tumble dryer from a family member that operated up-side down . If was stood on the floor it was normal but you could fix it to the wall (which we did ) upside down , just had to re-position the control panel so it was within reach . It was a design feature .

Well, at this point the Woman could just submerge the printer in a basin of holy water. Probably should unplug it first though …

At least it’s not insisting you’re missing cyan ink. :( WHY would anyone even want to print in cyan?!

When the printer starts spitting out green paper, with the numbers-666, then yes, Elvis!

Now, Elvis, there is absolutely nothing to the rumor that printers are of infernal origins. They’re made by humans, the same as computers. It is simply that some of those humans have placed a higher priority on their own profits than on the usability and functionality of their products.

Since the Woman violated step 4, is the warranty no longer good?

“Please install more expensive ink.”

.

“No, that’s not pricey enough. I want to hear you cry when you order it and sob when it runs out.”

NO! The printer made Puck have angry eyebrows.

When I first tapped on my GC icon this morning, I got a message that the queue was full but got on a few minutes ago. Now I can type a comment but halfway through the thread I could no longer get it to accept likes. Gonna be a weird day I guess.

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Beatrixia: Bravo! Bravissimo!

Iggy: Thank you. And now for the next act: The Procurers Guild Bring Material.

When Group comes in led by a Mouse

Bring wood and iron From Where We Know Not

And loud noises are heard from the library

Then building has begun!

This is the dawning of the Age of the Printing Press

Age of the Printing Press

The Printing Press!

The Printing Press!

The Daily Scroll is quickly published

Spreading news throughout the realm!

No more delays to be creative

Scribes are free to make their ideas heard

Free to illustrate with many words

The Printing Press!

The Printing Press!

Let us publish!

Let’s invent the press right now

Don’t wait until the last minute!

Let us Publish!

Continue until fade

Candlelight, Vestments, and Holy Water required

Prayer:

Holy Lord Gates, almighty Father, everlasting tech guru and Father of our the internet, who once and for all consigned that fallen and apostate tyrant to the flames of hell, who sent your only-begotten Help Desk into the world to crush that roaring lion; hasten to our call for help and snatch from ruination and from the clutches of the noonday devil this printer made in your image and likeness. Strike terror, Lord Gates, into the beast now laying waste your printer. Fill your servants with courage to fight manfully against that reprobate dragon, lest he despise those who put their trust in you, and say with Pharaoh of old: “I know not Gates, nor will I set printer ink for free.” Let your mighty hand cast him out of your servant, (HP), so he may no longer hold captive this person whom it pleased you to make in your image, and to redeem through your Help Desk; who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Digital Spirit, Gates, forever and ever.

Gates, hear my prayer (sprinkle Holy Water on printer)

I command you, unclean spirit, whoever you are, along with all your minions now attacking this printer, by the mysteries of the incarnation, passion, resurrection, and ascension of our Lord Gates, by the descent of the Holy Help Desk, (sprinkle Holy Water again).

Actual conversation:

“Why does a piece of plastic filled with ink cost $30?”

“Well, look what you can do with it. You need it for your printer to work.”

“A piece of plastic I need to make my toilet work costs $3.99. I need my toilet more than I need a printer.”

Such helpful kitties!!!

This new printer is getting crankier and crankier. If you can, turn it upside down and shake it. Ora Zella may have crawled inside (being a smol kat, she could fit).

“Step 4: Do not remove printer from box.” LOL!

Be careful. You’ll have to page through pralines, presses, and princes before you get to printers. Might as well just have Lupin shred the printer paper.

SNL Church Lady reference!

I don’t print a lot or often. When the need arises I to go the local library. 15¢/copy

Had to blow it up to read step 4. For some electronics, yeah.

I decided the best thing to do is either go to the library or the office then print out my documents. Home printers are a scam.

Last panel upside-down text reads “Step 4. Do not remove printer from box”

OT: Printer Problem: I was almost stupid

During Covid, when I could no longer print at the office (they didn’t mind because it was like, maybe twice a year), I finally broke down and bought myself a printer. I did research first though, and wound up with a Brother toner printer. Since it’s toner and not ink, it doesn’t dry out when I don’t use it for a week. And Brother doesn’t fill its products with a bunch of stupid controls and bloatware like certain other companies. Other than an occasional reboot it Just Works. It’s B&W only but that’s generally all I need anyway.

Elvis is in his element with this story. . . .

Now I’m starting to wonder if the Woman got scammed, because those “error messages” sure seem to be leaning in that direction. :P

I personally also would’ve gotten a laserjet rather than an inkjet, but I also don’t know what the Woman’s exact printing needs are, so…

I think one of my earliest printer wizard acts was when I was a new hire at the high tech company. I was a hardware design engineer. My admin complained that her computer was rebooting itself every 10-15 minutes. That’s annoying! I figured out it was caused by her printer rotating its drum to keep itself warm. Both computer and printer were plugged into the same power strip, and the printer cycling drew down the power enough to reboot the computer. Many had already focused on her computer and couldn’t find the problem.

Years ago had Cannon printer for my WIN 10 computer. Motherboard died on WIN 10, & had to buy a WIN 11 computer. End of Cannon printers. Now use an EPSON printer/scanner XP-7100. At 89 I have too much entertainment trying to remember how to work it. The most permanent thing in Life is CHANGE!

I got an HP. I declined the ink subscription because I don’t use enough to justify it. They turned off the ink that came with the printer! I had to go to Walmart and buy new ink in order for it to work

Ah yes the Wile E. Coyote printer model from ACME. Bad choice woman, bad choice.

If the manufacturer is Satan, all heck will break loose for sure.

Glad to see I am not alone!!! I just cross my fingers when I hit ‘print’!!!

Yes, Elvis. It IS from Satan. When he/she’s having a bad day. And a headache. And hasn’t eaten lately. Or stolen enough souls for his/her quota.His/her other job is writing those teeny tiny instruction booklets that come with things like earbuds. The ones where you need a magnifying glass to them.

Boycott HP Printers! Absolute rubbish.

I take it this arc is a result of a real life situation. If so, my condolences to GD.

I wonder if it’s on the stock exchange??

It’s probably of interstellar origin. Be careful about ordering things on the Outernet.

So glad I have a grandson who takes care of all this for me. To think I used to run a UNIX system. LOL

OT

On the last page of the manual, under “Troubleshooting,” it says “For technical support, call 666-CHTHULU. Our technicians are standing by.”

I try to buy printers that take “remanufactured” cartridges, OEM cartridges filled with generic ink because they have the chip that identifies it as the “right” kind.

Aww, Puck is such a good angry loaf in the last panel

I lost 6 hours of my life trying to get a brand new Epson tank printer to work. After multiple phone calls that did not help, I put it back in the box and took it back to Best Buy. I bought an HP tank printer and it set up easily and works great. Goodbye expensive cartridges!

It is time… Time to…

Call inThe Boy.

Face it folks, any technology that you are thirty years older than, must be tamed by the next generati