Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 18, 2023

Honestly, if you’re willing to D.B. Cooper it, this airline’s not too bad.

Take off, eh

If half of the passengers pay for landing, what happens?

That menu kind of reminds me of what people has told me about Ryan Air.

Pilots cost extra.

I don’t get this. Most airlines already do this, just with other “extras”.

Ah, but where’s the line item where they pay you if they overbook the plane?

What happens if you buy a landing, but not a take off?

What is the pilot drinking?

Actually, that’s not a bad idea!! It would cut down on long lines, irate customers, and cancelled flights!!!!

Mad Magazine December 1975. “Future No-Frills Airline Gimmicks.”

https://www.madcoversite.com/mad179-12.html

I dunno. The take-off should be the higher cost. The landing is virtually guaranteed, one way or another.

I’ll take the D.B. Cooper special.

They also don’t mention the extra for finding your luggage or what you will pay for transportation to and from the Unclaimed Luggage store in Alabama.

Flighty Airlines.

Like any place of business, these days, they nickel and dime you to death.

When my honey feels like a trip, we go to the market.

She likes to remember when we were young, had money and could eat anything. Ah, youth!

That fee for landing is fraudulent. ALL planes land…not a single plane is still hovering over the ground after its fuel tanks are empty.

SAFELY landing is a different thing, and might be a legitimate expense.

Looks like Frontier Airlines changed its name.

“Cheap flights, cheap flights, you’re harking on to me, You’re an eejit if you think a fecking flight is 50p!”

All airplanes land eventually, you are paying for the condition and site.

Ah! American Airlines.

Don’t laugh. The add ons menu grows daily with airlines and restaurants

If I pay $75, can you fly low over my ex’s house?

Let’s take a CONSERVATE approach to airlines. Where is it written that an airline needs TWO pilots and flight attendants? OK, probably in some FAA regulation. However for a reasonable “fee” there are some Senators and Congressmen and maybe a judge or two or six that can change those regulations in favor of the industry.

AI is making great strides. The monorail connecting the terminals isn’t the only thing at the airport that doesn’t need a crew.

Let’s make American air carriers competitive – more profits for the company which will undoubtedly result in lower fares for the passengers.

/s

There’s a saying in aviation: takeoffs are optional, landings are mandatory

The same Ed and Edna from SCTV? ‘So come on down!’

I would trade landing for LEGROOM. My last cross-country trip I should have brought bungee cords to strap my knees to my chest.

You should see what they charge for going to the lavatory if you don’t pre-book.

Hold out till they have 2 for the price of 1 special

Air is another extra.

Shouldn’t it be: “Successful landing on runway”?

Why are airlines doing all the add-ons even though customers don’t like it? One possible reason is that airlines pay taxes/duty/etc. based on their ticket prices, which does not include add-ons. Everything a passenger selects separately is “tax-free.” Granted, there is a huge problem with fuel prices jumping all over, but the business model that most airlines use doesn’t seem to have changed much in the last 60 years even though commercial air travel has gone from rare and exclusive to where over 90% of Americans have flown in 2022.

catching the Spirit…

I recently was comparing airline ticket pricing online for a trip to the U.S. I found it very enlightening that when you do a complete breakdown of all the charges – tickets, seating, travel time, stops, baggage, etc. – the total price for flying on one of the so-called budget airlines was higher!

People are deluding themselves if they think they are getting a bargain flying on any commercial airline. They should be looking for which one will give them more bang for their buck.

How much do you tip the TSA guy?

If this was LAX, there would be charges for 4 shuttle buses to take you to different parts of the terminal while construction is going on, and rescanning your baggage each time.

But they should deduct charges for every time some foul-mouthed TSA agent says anything

Take off is optional, landing is mandatory.

I’m still waiting for the pay toilets on airplanes.

Had to fly to a funeral last week on very short notice. I spent more money that one day on airlines tickets than I have ever spent on any other single day in my life.

Ordering a plane ticket these days is like ordering a car in the 60s before “packages” became common. (oldies like me know what I’m talking about)

Yes, Spirit Airlines. And their employess do it with a scowl and a “whatta ya want!!”.

$50.00 a bag to retrieve your bag from the carousel.

Excellent strip today Wiley. Thanks for the laugh

Sorry don’t get the joke, this is reality now.

Can you carry on parachutes? Or are those extra & not allowed to be carry on like food?

Wait a moment… Isn’t that how it is routinely these days?

Is this the natural evolution of deregulation?

Spirit Airlines: We’ll probably get you there.

Checking in for my flight . . . I told the agent, “Send one of my bags to New York, send one to LA, and send one to Miami.”

She told me, “I’m sorry sir but we can’t do that!”

I told her, “Why not? You did it last week!”

R.I.P., Henny Youngman. We miss you.

I once made the mistake of putting my meds in a checked suitcase.

This is the next step for Frontier.

Forget #3. It’s just a scam; it never happens. Luckily this is not a Chinese airline: one from column “A” and three from column “B”. Dim sum will bankrupt you.

Must be Frontier

Note:No food on the menu.

The problem isn’t the price of the ticket,it’s getting the plane off the ground in the first place.

Your flight has been cancelled—-find a hard park bench to sleep on,we don’t wanna know where you are.

Brilliant and probably prescient. Ruh roh!

Looks like the customers are also a la carte — doesn’t seem to be very many of them. I wonder why.

Bendover Airlines.

Now I’m feeling a lot better about my Southwest flight tomorrow!

I don’t see the Parachute fee listed for passengers who decide to Skip the Landing option.

There are a couple of airlines that do a la cart. I’ve flown them. It was literally $39 for a ticket. one fee for carry ones, another fee for check-in luggage. The seat was uncomfortable at any price (with no upgrade), though for a fee you could get longer leg room. After all was said and done, it was not much cheaper than the other guys.