It’s Hell. They all go to a place where you get burned, frozen, and inundated with election TV. Not to mention daytime TV, horrible inlaws, picnics with ants and scorpions, and a sink that drips. Downwind from a pig farm.
I have said that I wouldn’t vote for Candidate X (and X is not always who you’re assuming) if the only other name on the ballot were Satan. I guess here I could find out if I were serious.
It is sad when I can actually remember thinking during the ’72 re-election campaign for King Richard the Nix that “Politics could NEVER be any worse then this…”
The Bible says that hell is eternal torment, so does it matter which door? Btw, the devil doesn’t rule hell…..he gets tossed into it, too, at the end of The Book. He’s nothing more than a fallen, rebellious angel,
Like other civilized countries, the U.S. should restrict campaigning, pundit punting, candidate op-eding, rallies and all ads/pseudo ads to a period beginning 6 months before the election.
The devil welcomes him and says:“Let me show you around a little bit.” They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. “This is your house now, here are your keys.” The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:“No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!”
They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. “These are your cars now!” and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says “Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?”.
They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says “Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!”
As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.
Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil “What is going on there?” The devil just shrugs and says: “Those are the christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way”.
eastern.woods.metal about 5 years ago
Thinking was never his strong suit to start with
Bryan Farht about 5 years ago
Are we scaring Christians once again?
Ed A. about 5 years ago
Jump into the bottomless pit to your right instead.
Watcher about 5 years ago
Go with the election year. It will drive you crazy and then you won’t care.
GROG Premium Member about 5 years ago
I’ll go with the flames.
sirbadger about 5 years ago
Eternal election year isn’t so bad if you don’t watch the cable news channels.
Concretionist about 5 years ago
It’s Hell. They all go to a place where you get burned, frozen, and inundated with election TV. Not to mention daytime TV, horrible inlaws, picnics with ants and scorpions, and a sink that drips. Downwind from a pig farm.
GreasyOldTam about 5 years ago
I have said that I wouldn’t vote for Candidate X (and X is not always who you’re assuming) if the only other name on the ballot were Satan. I guess here I could find out if I were serious.
gopher gofer about 5 years ago
we’ve already got eternal election year here on earth so that would just be a continuation of the status quo…
Aussie Down Under about 5 years ago
Ok I’ve quickly ruled out the third option. I’m leaning towards option one but let me think some more. I do have eternity to consider.
Cpeckbourlioux about 5 years ago
The past four years have been eternal, actually.
keenanthelibrarian about 5 years ago
The idea is not to be brave …
GiantShetlandPony about 5 years ago
Eternal procrastinator.
walstib Premium Member about 5 years ago
Jimmy Buffett/Steve Goodman 1975: “My whole world lies waiting behind Door Number Three”.
dflak about 5 years ago
If Dante were alive today, he would have to invent a whole new level of hell for politicians.
Gary Fabian about 5 years ago
Take over.
Go for the “Eternal Flames”. Before entering stomp on his tail. While he reacts, grab his scepter and shove him off the edge.
1953Baby about 5 years ago
Thank gawd I"LL never have to make that choice. . . ;)
DiminishedFirst about 5 years ago
Anyone think that the devil’s tail seems too flexible? Shouldn’t there be bones in a tail?
sandpiper about 5 years ago
We’re all experiencing the one on the right. Maybe it’s time to for something different.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member about 5 years ago
The election year is the obvious choice. It will lead straight to insanity and you won’t care any more.
jtt about 5 years ago
Eternal election year. Hmm. Hell on earth. We’ve got it right here, right now. Gee, thanks, cable news.
Masterskrain about 5 years ago
It is sad when I can actually remember thinking during the ’72 re-election campaign for King Richard the Nix that “Politics could NEVER be any worse then this…”
Al Nala about 5 years ago
Think about Bernie………..forever.
strictures about 5 years ago
Robber: Your money or your life!
Jack Benny: I’m thinking it over!
Lee26 Premium Member about 5 years ago
The Bible says that hell is eternal torment, so does it matter which door? Btw, the devil doesn’t rule hell…..he gets tossed into it, too, at the end of The Book. He’s nothing more than a fallen, rebellious angel,
Richard S Russell Premium Member about 5 years ago
There are at least 2 things to think about:
(1) What was the solution to the Monty Hall problem?
(2) If I pick my favorite, is that the one I’ll get, or will this guy think that’s the one I prefer and send me down one of the others?
Plods with ...™ about 5 years ago
I’ll take either of the first 2. #3 is already happening.
marilynnbyerly about 5 years ago
Welcome to Eternal Election NC, one of the most fought over states in the country!
thelordthygod666 about 5 years ago
Like other civilized countries, the U.S. should restrict campaigning, pundit punting, candidate op-eding, rallies and all ads/pseudo ads to a period beginning 6 months before the election.
DCBakerEsq about 5 years ago
Is Eternal Raquel Welch an option?
COL Crash about 5 years ago
That’s a classic take on Hobson’s Choice. None of the options are good.
rghelms about 5 years ago
We already have continual election cycles
betsypoe about 5 years ago
We must already be in hell.
navion about 5 years ago
We already have perpetual election season.
Cornelius Noodleman about 5 years ago
Election year! I like to watch ’em squabble.
Catwoman13 about 5 years ago
yup, dat be my choice…
willie_mctell about 5 years ago
Six week limit on campaigns.
Rick Smith Premium Member about 5 years ago
Well, it would be tough to have to decide between heat or cold. The third one is easy to eliminate as a choice.
nikpromo about 5 years ago
The 3rd door is for all who are registered as either a Democrat or a Republican…..
sml7291 Premium Member about 5 years ago
no worries… hell is just as imaginary as heaven. All made up to entice and scare the gullible out of their money and their minds.
1MadHat Premium Member about 5 years ago
Well, that would leave me with two choices.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 5 years ago
Anything’s better than ETERNAL 2020.
Godfreydaniel about 5 years ago
I hear Robert Frost was eaten right up by a Wiley Bear………
Vaporman about 5 years ago
Wiley, you forgot the door to ‘Eternal Public Broadcasting Pledge Week’!
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 5 years ago
Sama-el is getting more liberal. He’s giving choices now.
AMBER1 about 5 years ago
Mmm, tough choice!
Kim Roberts about 5 years ago
In flaming hell people are usually pictured as nude. Nude in freezing hell? Nude in election year hell—need brain bleach, NOW!
Yakety Sax about 5 years ago
An atheist dies and goes to hell
The devil welcomes him and says:“Let me show you around a little bit.” They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. “This is your house now, here are your keys.” The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:“No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!”
They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. “These are your cars now!” and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says “Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?”.
They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says “Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!”
As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.
Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil “What is going on there?” The devil just shrugs and says: “Those are the christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way”.
TheLetterista.com about 5 years ago
Child molesters get all three at once.
bakana about 5 years ago
Your Money or your Life?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tVzdUczMT0
g.iangoodson about 5 years ago
Eternal Choice, Eternal Torture. It’s still Hell.
LrdSlvrhnd about 5 years ago
I’ll take door #2 without thinking twice about it.
dbwindhorst about 5 years ago
Hobb’s End’s choice.
lindz.coop Premium Member about 5 years ago
We’re already there.
bagjr64 about 5 years ago
He.He He.Wiley is the Devil
Doctor Go about 5 years ago
Eternal Trump.
Oh wait, we’re already doing that.
jrlind55 about 5 years ago
As if you get to choose your own eternal damnation.
trebir about 5 years ago
I like this one… funny