Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 15, 2021

Oooh, another reason to not get one.

She’s just kvetching because he didn’t buy the shirt at Amazon.;-D

Woemart has a dead hobo bin? Who knew?

Hah! So outdated. I have the latest upgrade where i am the assistant.

I always tell people that my x wife upgraded when she remarried. Them I tell them he’s in a wheelchair, has Cerebral Palsy and has a mental age between 12 and 14. We all have a good laugh.

If it were me in that last frame, then you’d see me wearing the sweater and trashing the modern version of “Bitchin’ Betty”. Google it (you were going to anyway, weren’t you?) ;-)

You can wear it when you are painting and you might make a mistake.

Who asked you, Alexa!

I like the sweater. It goes good with his hair color.

Siri, tell Alexa to go jump in a lake.

Settings; camera off.

Time to introduce Alexa to that sweater’s destination.

Alexa – the solution to bachelorhood.

Never had one and I don’t intend to get one anytime soon!! No need for the NSA and the GCHQ knowing everything that I do and/or say!! My “smartphone” does that – already!!

/SNARK/

" Alexa, disconnect your self from your power plug "

Glad I don’t have one. When did they get cameras?

“The dead hobo bin at Walmart” has been added to my lexicon." :D

Wait till the divorce and Alexa and wants her half

Actually just a really good reason not to get a Wife, you can turn off Alexa, try that with the Wife, a ready source of unwanted, annoying opinions.

Dead Hobo Bin At Walmart: that’s funny.

Only Cosby got to wear sweaters like that!

My mother-in-law loves her Alexa. She’s going blind, so it’s perfect for setting alarms and timers, getting a quick weather report, playing music, and assorted other little things that I suppose we take for granted. On the other hand, Alexa calls my FIL by my MIL’s name, which cracks them both up!

My Alexa can’t do that. How do I get the upgrade?

Keep the sweater, ditch Alexa, then drop by the hobo bin and pick up a tropical shirt.

I’m waiting for Alexa to tell me, “Sorry, Dave, I can’t do that.”

Yea Joe, I guess one could say “been there, done that”, I’m the guy who sometimes responds with a “you’re welcome” to the express line self check-out voice of “thank you for sopping at Walmart”.

Just throw the device in with it, before it starts calling you Dave.

People have these things spying on them and put all their info on social media. Then they complain that their info stored on company databases has been hacked.

Is Wiley suggesting Alexa take the place of a wife? (And who programs the sense of style the computer will deem appropriate? I say we bribe the programmer for jeans and sweatshirts being high fashion!)

Wonder if Alexa can talk under water.

that sweater is/was hideous. So Alexa is/was right after all.

“Harcort Fenton Mudd! There you are! Where have you been? What have you Been up too? Have you been drinking?”

There it is! I unplugged mine and packed her away!

That device has camera access and picture analysis capability? Am I really so outdated with these digital Assistant gadgets now?

Keep the sweater trash alexa!

Wow, he’s already whipped.

I wish Alexa could tell me what to do with my hair.

I can still get off my butt and do for myself.. so far… Alexa would be on a one way flight after the first comment around here. The ONLY ones that can get away with dictating around here are the animals. And they don’t always win, either.

My daughter does this to me already…good thing I don’t have a wife and my husband wouldn’t dare.

What better way to show you’re unassuming and single.

Pull the plug.

Occasionally, having the power to pull the plug is not really all that much juice.

Try that prairie dress you got at Target instead. I understand that’s the hot new fashion item these days.

Wait….There’s a ‘Dead Hobo’ bin at Wal*Fart’s?

Only a matter of time … except that your wife will be programming it.

If you need someone to tell you why it’s a bad idea to have an all seeing automaton keeping a nonstop eye on you, you’re beyond help.

I welcome our digital overlords

Alexa has a camera and nobody told us? Not surprised.

Tell Alexa that he’s going golfing.

This is when the 5 pound sledge comes in handy.

My wife, actually ex, would have said “take it off or I’ll burn it with you in it!”…and now you know why she’s my ex. :))))))

Alexa doesn’t even have visual capabilities. It can just assume that Joe is wearing something ridiculous.

big brother in a dystopian society, hey! we resemble that!

Walmart has a corporate office in Hoboken; perhaps that’s where the Hobo bin is.

So “dead hobo” is okay. whew .. on to Zippy…

I tried to get intimate with my virtual assistant and she threatened me with litigation.

Is there an upside to the upgrade? Can you cook and do laundry?

If so Louis, I mean Alexa. I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

putting the wrong thing in the trash

The “dead hobo bin at Walmart”?! I’m dying!!! (And I’m not even a hobo!)

Wrong. That’s a regular Echo and it can’t do that. To comment on your appearance, you need an Echo Look which was designed exactly for that – though it’s being phased out so get one while you can. And, of course, you have to “wake up” an Echo before it talks to you.

My iPad, nearly every time I use it, will at some point have a completely white screen with the black lettering “SPEAK NOW“ along with bouncing Google colored balls and microphone silhouette.

When we’re driving, my wife sometimes kids me about having another female to nag me — the GPS.

Reminds me of a Get Smart novel, “Max Smart Loses CONTROL” where Max’s clock radio tells him what clothes to wear and that “green jelly beans cause astigmatism”. The clock radio is controlled by Number One, the world’s most intelligent computer, which has been kidnapped by KAOS and brainwashed to do its evil deeds.

I buy all my clothes in the dead hobo bin at Walmart.

When did that model of Alexa develop “eyes”?

Seriously, I got into an argument with Alexa a couple weeks ago! I ended up unplugging her to reset her, then she did what I asked her to do.

Don’t have a smart phone, don’t want one…. so it should be a forgone conclusion that I won’t have any other “smart” networked appliances in my home any time soon. It wasn’t that hard to live without them before and they simply don’t provide enough benefit to outweigh the security risk.

That’s not to say I don’t have any high tech around the house, just that I pick and choose carefully.

And this is just my opinion, but it comes from a lifetime working with high tech, including being a programmer and working with military intelligence for a while. Working with spooks can raise your concern level a bit and I’ve seen first hand just how bad some programmers can be, especially when it comes to networking.

But then I still drive with a manual transmission, roll down my windows and unlock my vehicle with a regular key. I do have a ham radio installed with all kinds of bells and whistles, but I can always remove or turn that off with no impact on my driving and I know that it isn’t transmitting unless I press the key.

The computer is now in control. Just do what the computer tell you and all will be well. Do not worry, nothing can go wrong… wrong… wrong…. wrong….

When did they add Surveillance Cameras to those things?

Where are Alexa’s eyes? Cover them with tape.

In all fairness, that is the only place where you get merchandise worth the cost of what you’re paying for.