Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 22, 2021

People who don’t tip food delivery guys with cash.

Cyclists who whine, “Share the road!” while breaking every rule of the road that exists.

People complaining about quarantine to Safeway employees while not wearing a mask.

Lawyers and politicians.

What is it with Pastis and cyclists anyway???? I somehow get the impression that he HATES them!

Tight Lycra: Either he wants to show off his great body or he has gained weight since he bought the outfit.

I’m not a checker at a grocery store. I just collect carts from the parking lot back to the lobbies as well as return any called-for perishable go-backs. Still haven’t got my shot yet though.

People who try to cheat their way into the vaccine line ahead of their fair spot.

People who don’t know how to use self checkout but use it anyway

YES! The cyclists! I do not want to look at your lycra clad bum. Keep it on the bike seat and keep your head up so that you can see where you are going.

Panel # 4 : Could Rat be talking about Cyclist Jeff ?

People who do not get out of the way of emergency vehicles.

People who drive slower than traffic in the left lanes.

I seen signs once in awhile that says “Look twice for motorcyclists.” That’s because of how they drive. ( not all.)

I’m a cyclist but the arrogant smugness of cyclists who in their “Tour de France” outfits while they are on bike friendly trail such as the Burke Gillman trail in Seattle, decide that they own the trail, makes me want to hurl!

People who sit through a green light at an intersection checking their phone and then going through said intersection when the light is yellow to jam up everyone stuck behind them. Secondly, people who are waiting in a line for 5 minutes plus at any fast food outlet and then when they are at the front of the line , decide to make up their mind about what to order very slowly while making everyone else behind them wait even longer. Thirdly, people who try to go through the express lane at the Publix or Winn Dixie with way over the stated max number of items….

This seems kind of dark. Like they want to be Vaccine Nazis.

Those who set off firecrackers

at 4am

2 days before/after the expected holiday so we can’t anticipate & pull out the Thundershirt for Fido.

Anti-vaxxers! Wait! What?

People who don’t believe the science, if there are any left.

Tight fitting Lycra is not always a bad thing.

People who think they can decide who should get the vaccine last.

I’ve Got a Little List (1886)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx7ik5uiwdQ

Drivers who pass cyclists too close.

I’m a cyclist and I don’t wear tight Lycra.

Uh oh. I’d better hide my copy of Finnegan’s Wake !

Moody Blues : But we decide which is right And which is an Illusion …… Croc Power !

Politicians who go to Cancun when their constituents have no power or water.

Politicians who think the virus was a hoax, should not receive it at all.

Don’t forget those who carefully hide the “funny bars” on grocery stuff.

Rat’s wrong. He should have said “all cyclists”.

People who park in handicapped spaces illegally, right after the ones who don’t clean all the snow off their cars.

People who wear masks but don’t cover their noses. Grrr…!

People who drive less then the speed limit in the passing lane!

No he loves em he just wants em all in heaven as soon as possible!

Reporters who jump on any story to make another person look small when there is no proof just “unnamed sources”

Recumbent bicyclists

.

James Joyce.

Here’s a look inside the mind of Molly Bloom. Is this beautiful? Is it difficult to understand?

“I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as anothed then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.”

[That final capital *Y*  “Yes” gets me every time.]

Anyone who plays, ‘writes’, ‘performs’, buys hip-hop anything…

I vote for hedge fund managers.

I could use some groceries right now.

Pastis!!! :D Tailgaters. Politicians. Criminals, obviously. People sending memes on Whatsapp. Telemarketers. “Street performers” (beggars… who do you think you’re kidding?). It’s a long list, We can move Pastis to an earlier date :D

Yep, there is no joy in Joyce. There is no fault in Faultner but there is plenty of toil in Tolstoy.

People who have a social gathering in the middle of the asile in a grocery store.

“People who love people, …”

LOL! keep going….many more groups to filter….

Cartoonists who aren’t funny and incite comments such as these. Haha

Jake from State farm.

People who crowd together in public without masks, much like Pig, Rat and Goat are doing in this comic.

The COVID vaccine should not be a tool of selective Darwinism, even if it regards people you don’t approve of.

People who don’t turn their lights on at dusk or on rainy days. Especially ones with black cars.

People with dogs who let them outside to bark at all hours of the day.

What’s wrong with James Joyce? ;-)

I think everyone who said the virus was a hoax should get vaccine last… if at all.

I am none of the referenced above but I don’t mind going last. Everybody else has the shot, I got no need for it……

I stopped at the Burger King in Ramona one afternoon and was there when a group of TOPS riders arrived after coming up the hill from S.D. I’ve never seen so much spandex in my entire life. I was frightened that something might snap and I lost my appetite and fled. (However, more power to them and two thumbs-up for their desire to lose weight. The image is still burned into my psyche.)

“People who eat peppermint and puff it in your face” — G&S

Good luck with the untested long-term side effects

People talking in movie shows,

People smoking in bed!

People voting Republican,

Give them a boot to the head!

Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…

Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…

Boot to the Head! Nah, nah…

Boot to the Head! Nah nah nah… Nah. Nah nah nah…

Mechanics who can’t fix a car,

Politicians who can’t think!

The salesman who won’t leave me alone,

The waiter who forgot my drink!

(Refrain)

Boot to the head! Nah, nah..

Boot to the head! Nah, nah..

Boot to the head! Nah, nah..

BOOT TO THE HEAD!!

Anyone who likes basketball…or golf…or soccer.

Last to get vaccines are tied. Either the snow plowers who pile all the snow in the handicap spots or the people who laugh about the virus and call it a “mild flu” and have parties all the time, never following the protocols and won’t wear masks. But they get in line very fast for vaccines for something they swear is nothing.

I worked retail at a clothing store over the holidays. We had walkies so hopefully you were close to something people wanted the price checked on. Even so we did a lot of price checking.

People who park near the grocery store entrance, then insist on shoving their carts down the aisle toward the parking lot cart corral and not taking it there. Too lazy and too often the cart careens into someone’s car door, while the perpetrator drives merrily away.

May be just fine if the herd immunity theory is correct.

Stephan has opened the floodgates! Jolly good for the Molly Bloom piece.

Cartoonists who pun.

Guess Jef is outta’ luck then!

Vaccine for what? Is there some problem that I’m not aware of?

People who wear their masks with their noses out.

People who try to say “I have a breathing problem” to get out of wearing one.

People who say the vaccine is a mind control conspiracy.

People who said we should just infect everybody with herd immunity and let god sort ’em out.

Telephone sanitizers!

I’m surprised Rat didn’t name “Toon Boy” and “Cartoon Censor”.

I want people who drive slow in the left lane added to the list.

Attention (or, for Cartoon-Boy’s sake, ethnically, Prosoki, parakalo), Jef the Cyclist! This one’s for you!

(It had better be, ’cause I read and like Joyce….)

It’s living in Santa Rosa – it does that to you.

why not trump supporters, they don’t believe anything they’re told anyway(unless it Alex Jones, Glenn Beck, Faux Spews, ETC.

I tried reading Ulysses. I got about fifty pages into it when I gave up. I didn’t understand it.

Mechanics who can’t fix a car, politicians who can’t think. The salesman who won’t leave me alone, the waiter who forgot my drink.

I vote for cartoonists who use dumb puns in comics… :)

This reminds me of an old meme I started: “Damn you, James Joyce!!!”

He really loves cyclists – and he knows they’re so healthy that they can wait until the other, less-healthy folks (i.e., non-cyclists) can get their shots.

Just copy over the list from George Carlin’s “People Who Ought To Be Killed” routine. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVlkxrNlp10

Like they don’t just call for the price check

That one guy who plays Simon good in smash bros ultimate

CEOs

How about people who refused to wear a mask all through COVID because it infringed on their “freedom”?