That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 22, 2024

/// An Old Woman, (a Duchess), Grotesque,

still believes that her form’s statuesque,

but her décolletage

is a withered mirage,

and her face is the soul of burlesque.

“My eyes are up here.”

The sad thing is that she only got sixth place in the 1513 Ugly Flemish contest…

“The cops won’t recognise me in this… Ha… Even my won’t even recognise me.”

She lost. I guess no job for me as a cabinet member.

…but with a heart of gold though!

She played an extra in “Planet of the Apes”.

Some are just not candidates for the Rue Paul school of finising.

The beta trials of Botox weren’t very successful.

…kinda hot.

How the hot chick you brought home from the bar last night looks the next morning.

Due to scheduling conflicts, Aunt Gertrude had to back out of the portrait when it was 90% complete, and the only substitute Quinten could find was Uncle Milton.

“ Is this the face that launched a thousand ships/and toppled the topless towers of Ilium?”

“Nope!”

In Martin Gardner’s wonderful book The Annotated Alice, he notes that this painting was very likely John Tenniel’s inspiration for his illustrations of the Duchess.

There’s a rumor that’s being bruited/

About- (and it’s not been refuted)/

That the Duchess, displeased/

By fury a was seized/

And the surgeon was executed.

Back in the day, we would call her a ‘’Double Bagger’’.

Here we have a rare photo of Cynthia Rise, grandmother of Cole Rise. (only some will get it I’m afraid)

Saturday morning when you look over at the “10” you picked up at the bar Friday night

OMG, is this real? Why?

Just imagine waking up in the morning with her lying next to you, and then discovering she has bad teeth and hates poetry!

I know it’s off-putting but we haven’t had as many rats since I hung it in the pantry.

Hm…Minnie Mouse had an illegitimate son by Yoda, and when this son grew up he got breast implants in an attempt to “transition?”

It must be awful to live in a body people mock….

Elephant WOMAN?

Buh… Nightmare fuel!

Gotta be some kind of Alien.

This is what happens when you refuse to pay your portrait painter.

And welcome back to “Who Wants to Marry a Hapsburg Princess”!

Lindsey Graham, late for an emergency committee meeting, forgot to dress down.

Jabba the Hutt, the early years.

Trump’s nominee for Secretary of the Exterior Department of Charm & Beauty – a former Miss Universe contestant, now residing in Florida!

What drugs drove the artist to create this painting? I would love the back story.

I think I took the wrong hormones.

Turn women upside down and they all look the same.

It didn’t help.

Seriously…..WTF?

Reminds me of that Twilight Zone episode; Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.

Fugly

Had to look it up because there just seemed something off about this portrait.

“The Ugly Duchess is a satirical portrait painted by the Flemish artist Quinten Matsys around 1513. The Ugly Duchess aka “A Grotesque old Woman”,

Why would anybody paint that? LOL

The Goblin king’s wife (The Hobbit film, part 1).

The Ugly Duchess or Portrait of an Old Woman or A Grotesque old woman: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Undated paintings" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia, and Brave search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Quentin, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting. 

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3415 (November 22, 2024) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by him have been used here, the August 10, 2012, strip being the prior. GoComics has deactivated the hyperlinks and removed the new lines in my comment there; but, perhaps the text remains informative.

Anyone have extra eye bleach? I need badly to unsee this.

“Push them up !” her best friend suggested/

“Face the facts- you are pendulous breasted./

Then hope they’ll distract/

From the tragical fact/

That your face is a farce uncontested.”

queen monkey from planet of the apes.

he had a sex change, for the better.

O. M. G. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Wikipedia article on this painting (just search for “The Ugly Dutchess” in the Wikipedia search box) is unusually complete and informative. This painting has been the subject of quite a bit of study over the years.

You think I’m bad? You should see the guy that I was fighting!

Quoting Don Rickles when he doesn’t know what to say … “avocado”.

How DARE you! I don’t have a receding hairline!

The above remarks resemble what children say on seeing a “different” person for the first time. If she were your kind old nurse, you wouldn’t worry about her looks.

A chance to try diplomacy:Nice- “When I look into your face time stands still”Nasty- “You gotta face that would stop a clock”

Cease and desist. It is unacceptable to ridicule transgender people. Though some fail in their transition more spectacularly than others.

lemme guess “she” was the model for the gargoyles on Notre Dame?

You people are cruel. Remember—she was probably somebody’s mother … provided the guy did her from behind.

Grandpa ……. I really don’t think the WOKE thing suits you at this time in life.

Gerald Ford? Well, who knew…?

Trans? (I’m surprised no one said that yet!)

Whoever said beauty is only skin deep ought to be shot!!

“I feel pretty, oh so pretty…”

For Monday: “school board clash over library books and posting Ten Commandments in restroom stalls.”