Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for January 02, 2025

If I can’t get wings, can I get a jetpack with infinite fuel?

The halo is a give away.

Why does it need to take a long time, just pull the lever and send him down.

Lawyers can get wings?

There are lawyers in heaven? (mind blown)

That can only mean that they wing their way to hell

Based on what It’s a Wonderful Life says, guess at least some of the times bells fall silent is when a lawyer has reached the gates of heaven for judgement.

There are great lawyers, lawyers have to defend scumbags to the best of their ability, even if they have to hold their noses. Even trumps lawyers….like it or not, they have to do it or get disbarred

Lawyers don’t do so great adhering to them 10 basic laws.

Not all of them, of course. I’ve read that 97% of them give the rest a bad name.

Well-known Shakepeare quote: “First we ….”

Although it might seem Appealing, don’t test St. Peter’s Principle.

Well, filing is one thing but, the case is rarely heard by a the “Supreme Court” in heaven.

I wonder how Clarence Darrow fared. (2025 is the centennial of the Scopes Monkey Trial.)

At the border between heaven and hell, the devil erected a fence 10 feet onto Heaven’s side. God threaten to sue. The devil: “where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Appeal: I’m guilty but have enough money to stay out of jail at least a bit longer.

One lawyer in a town will just get by, two lawyers in a town will get rich.

No lawyer joke … just wanted to thank Wiley Miller for all the comments and great artwork and details – like today’s where the entrants to Heaven are wearing clothes that indicate who they are and what they may have been doing when they died. Best wishes for the new year!

Lots more than just activism!

Surprised a lawyer made it up there.

He’s dumber than most. There is no appeal. And the other entrance just doesn’t bother with check-ins. Their intake is a given.

Activist judeg (noun phrase): A judge who decides against you.

I know a couple of lawyers who definitely went to heaven, if they treated all their clients the way they treated me!

Didn’t I read somewhere or other, “Judge not, lest ye be judged”?

All Lawyers go to Heaven, sorry can’t type that with a straight face.

It looks more like the Resolute Desk than a judge’s bench.

Yeah, it doesn’t work that way, but that’s lawyering for you. (I know, I know, “Lawyering?”)

Perry Mason could use a friend

Years ago, in a small town in the middle of farm country, 10 pm on a Friday night, Joe Smith was pulling out of a parking space on Main Street when he backed into a truck. A minor fender-bender. But the truck was a rental so it had to be called in. While the other driver went into the cafe to call the rental place and sheriff’s office, Joe went into the bar [the only other place open] and called his lawyer. Although Joe was a law-abiding citizen, he was up there in age [drivers 72 and older must take eye test and renew in person]. The lawyer asked him if he had his hat and then told him to have a drink to calm his nerves.

Joe was a hardworking farmer. He and his brother worked together on the family farm. His wife had a heart condition and they took care of a daughter who “wasn’t quite right.” His other daughter and her family lived a few counties away. His son had been killed in Korea and his grandson was serving in Vietnam. His brother, a widower, was in the hospital with a broken leg and his kids and grandkids were scattered around the country. And it was nearing harvest time.

Now, if Joe has that drink to calm his nerves, then any breathalyzer test can’t count. Is that a good lawyer or not?

But why ask about the hat? Joe was old school. When he went for a drink, he carried a couple of eggs in his hat for the beer. [It was a fedora] He would order a beer and then reach for an egg and crack it into the beer ‘to purify it’ [the egg sinks to the bottom taking impurities with it—not necessary anymore]. If he ordered a beer and had no egg, he would take off his hat, drink the last beer and leave. If he tried to order another beer, the bartender would simply take his hat away. He still had his hat, so he had had 3 beers at most over the evening.

Would that lawyer do that for anybody? Probably not. But this was a small town, where everybody knows everybody, their family, their habits, and their business.

They make it up there, never mind get wings??

Aside from the usual lawyer jokes, I don’t get this comic. What’s an activist judge, and how does it relate to the skier, or anything else?

There are no New Englanders in Heaven.

Oh, they are welcomed into Heaven and given everything they could desire except one thing.

They all stay there a while, then get homesick and hike back to New England.

The skier is about to get the highest and best slope he’s ever seen. but given the fact that he just died skiing, it may be too much for him.

Appeal? Appeal, you say? Appeals have to be filed with a higher court. What higher court were you expecting to find?

An activist judge is one who makes rulings that you don’t like.

I’ve heard that the only wings lawyers get are bat wings.

Wrong type of wings…

Hard to know whether Hizzonner is Democrat or Republican; only time will tell.

What appeal ??? ;-)