Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 27, 2025

A proper rib bing

Adam gets ribbed

If you want to be a mother …

But he’s not the last man on Earth, he’s the first one.

Eve takes one look at Adam and realizes that he has a backpfeifengesicht. Not a good start on the entire human race.

Would all of us be better off?

Never mind, send in the BEARS!

How do you like them apples?

Last…first? Whatever. That’s funny!

And he is standing under the Tree of Life. Eve should step back toward the forest.

I’ve always wondered…what did God do on the eighth day?

Doesn’t it strike you, as it does me, that quite a number of quasi-biblical cartoons are starting to appear just a few weeks before Easter? (Otherwise known as Holy Week).

Does anyone actually want to think this story through. That is how two people would populate the earth. Some interesting variations within the Christian mythology on this christianpure(dot)com / learn / adam-eve-true-story/

He’s the only man for her.

[Or is he the snake?]

Tickles my funny bone!

The Bible story … as rewritten by Danae?

if she had just left that apple on that apple tree

Eve is such a doosh (is that OK, censorbot?)

He’s the only one at the time, but she has the power to decide whether or not he’s the last man on Earth. But at what price?

Well- Lilith is available. She got kicked out for not obeying Adam.

That apple still comes in many forms…

God’s y-chromosome making an appearance.

There’s a reason why Lilith left.

In the beginning, the ‘choose a mate’ catalog only had one page. Nowadays women have a lot of choices and a fair number of them have do-overs. Same for some guys.

The only snake in the garden of Eden belonged to Adam. He was the first herpetologist.

Well, at least he can’t cheat on you …

Right now, he’s the only one.

“I think it is a man. I had never seen a man, but it looked like one, and I feel sure that that is what it is. I realize that I feel more curiosity about it than about any of the other reptiles. If it is a reptile, and I suppose it is; for it has frowzy hair and blue eyes, and looks like a reptile. It has no hips; it tapers like a carrot; when it stands, it spreads itself apart like a derrick; so I think it is a reptile, though it may be architecture.” – Mark Twain, The Diaries of Adam and Eve

It was under the old apple tree. When she first gave it to me. Adam I have a headache.

It’s only an apple tree, not mistletoe

Adam was neither the last man nor the first. Page one of the Bible is when people were created. Page two is the story of Adam and Eve, who were in a garden. Lots of people were elsewhere doing their thing.

What’s the problem, Eve? Hung like a field mouse, is he?

What do you expect from his clone? They are really the same human but different. Cheers

With that attitude she must be Lilith.

This story always bothered me. They are the first humans, they have three boys, one is murdered, but they find wives for the others.

Sounds like someone was monkeying around with the truth, figuratively.

Hang that apple from a makeshift belt, buddy, maybe that will work.

LET HIM PLANT HIS SEED THEN KILL HIM (THE LAST MAN ON EARTH) MAYBE!

First, Last, Only ….

The next day,God invented Lesbians

From the great movie (and subsequent play) Inherit the Wind:

Defense attorney Drummond with prosecutor Brady on the witness stand (google the name of the production to learn why the prosecutor took the stand to be questioned by the attorney in the case he himself is prosecuting; bold and italics my own):

Drummond: But it had to happen. It must’ve happened, according to natural law. Or don’t you believe in natural law, Mr. Brady? Would you ban Copernicus from the classroom along with Charles Darwin? Would you pass a law throwing out all scientific knowledge since Joshua? Revelations, period?!

Brady: Natural law was born in the mind of the heavenly Father. He can change it, cancel it, use it as He pleases. It constantly amazes me that you Apostles of Science, for all your supposed wisdom, fail to grasp this simple fact.

Drummond: Now listen to this. This is Genesis [4:16]: “And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife.” Now where the h e l l did she come from?_*

Brady: Who?

Drummond: Mrs. Cain. Cain’s wife. If, in the beginning, there were just Cain and Abel, and Adam and Even, where did this extra woman come from? Did you ever stop to think about that?

Brady: No, sir. I leave the agnostics to hunt for her.

Drummond: Never bothered you?

Brady: Never bothered me.

Drummond: Never tried to find out?

Brady: No.

Drummond: You figure somebody else pulled another creation over in the next county somewhere?

Has anyone thought about this?

In the reality of the progression of genetics that produced the first (wo)man – and we don’t actually know which gender (s)he was – that first Human person was an advancement over its hominid predecessors. Those predecessors were real, alive, and sexually reproducing.The “erect human” preceded “thinking man” (the GC censor will not allow me to use the perfectly legitimate Latin names), as did Neanderthals.

I am postulating that the first Thinking Person coupled with the closest opposite-sexed approximation of similarity that was available (possibly even closely-related) amongst the local earlier “pre-thinking” tribe, and that union produced more “thinking” ones. That would be quite consistent with scientific understanding of both genetics and evolution. It also corresponds in general intent with many of the multitude of legends that exist about the genesis of Humanity.

So it’s woman perfect , man stupid even back then huh? Eden, land of the stereotype and cliche’ . ;-)

When the chicken came, the egg was already around. Adam was not the first man, he may have been the first High Priest of the God of Israel.

In actual fact, the first humanods were black and originated from Africa. Makes even more of a mockery of racism. We all have black ancestors from millions of years ago!

Does anybody besides me look at the streamer at the top of the page that claims “At the beginning of April, you’ll be introduced to a brand-new GoComics!” and think “Hmmmmm, April Fool’s Day?”?

The first two people were Adam and Bruce, but then God took his first mulligen.

Lucky for Adam, social media has yet to be invented, and along with it, entitlement.

Hah. Proves my suspicion that God did not intend adult males to sport facial hair. Plainly an evil after-market scheme dreamed up by Satan.

Carol Pilbasian and Phil Tandy Miller.

That ole snake in the grass.

He shouldn’t have POed the first one.

There was a lot of discussion earlier about incest but that would not have been an issue with the ancient understanding of reproduction. It was believed that the man simply implanted a complete embryo (they didn’t really know what it was) into the woman. The woman was little more than an incubator. And much of the reason for all of the prohibitions on incest had more to do with keeping familial property rights straight and not allowing one family to gain too much of the clan’s stake in a region.

There was a whole civilization beyond Eden. But their cage was locked.