Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2019

Please, make sure the scone is gluten-free.

I still think that trying to be politically correct in everything can turn out to be stupid and if what Pastis describes in this strip is true, that would confirm.

Not only is truth stranger than fiction, it’s also stupider.

I remember when that story broke. I think everyone’s reaction was similar to Rat’s.

P.E.T.A. is also demanding more bird-seed income level housing. Otherwise, they will send the trained the pigeons to white wash the politicians and social advocates’ cars.

I’ve seen the way cats treat people…where’s the ethics in that?

insult to injury

Sort of like the term “herstory” is real…

I like the juxtaposition of Rat popping into Pastis’ office, then walking back. It’s different.

Isn´t that an old one? Also seen plenty insane stuff from P.I.T.A.

Save The Scones.

PETA are also the idiots who got upset from a Jurassic Park photo with a dead triceratops #noselfawareness

Really? THIS causes outrage? You’d think this was as important an issue as a green vs. pink dress or something. *rolls eyes*

*P*eople *E*ating *T*asty *A*nimals: That’s the PETA that I support. There’s room for all of God’s creatures in this world… right next to the potatoes and gravy.

PETA have mastered the art of trolling. It’s the cheapest form of increasing brand awareness there is.

Maybe P.E.T.A. should try to get rid of all the windmill generators. They are killing more birds, really, than a few words will ever kill.

Two stoned birds with one weed?

Wonder what they do with “beating a dead horse”.

I remember when they wanted Fishkill NY to change its name.

sigh

PETA..people eating tasty animals..

Didn’t we already see this one?

Think like a Croc ….. Croc Power !

Luckily nobody ever listens to anything PETA has to say. Unless it’s my favorite PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals.

we should put an end to peta and “kill two birds with one stone” :D

While it is real (I think it was a couple of years ago), I’m pleased about the fact that the proposal has received nothing but mockery from pretty much everyone.

And don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I had to Google this to see if the proposed change was real, and it is. I understand what PETA is trying to accomplish, but its methods are undermining its efforts to do so.

What if you feed the birds the Scone of Stone?

All the animals kill each other, so isn’t us killing them just the food chain? Or is it somehow different for humans.

Scones are hardly a wholesome food source for birds. Shame on you, PETA, for suggesting so.

Maybe they should try something like “Better bread then dead” and see how that goes over….

I ask myself that same question every day.

Mind you, biologists are now openly saying that feeding bread to birds in your local parks is a really bad idea.

Exactly.

Tom Lehrer:“All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoonWhen we’re poisoning pigeons in the parkEvery Sunday you’ll see my sweetheart and meAs we poison the pigeons in the park”

One of my favourite songs.

I didn’t believe this at first, so I googled it. This really is true, and some of PETA’s suggestions are… let’s call them “ridiculous”, although that’s not nearly a strong enough word.

https://www.peta.org/teachkind/lesson-plans-activities/animal-friendly-idioms/

Also, vegans and vegetarians sometimes say “I don’t eat my friends”, because they like animals (I like animals too, especially with grilled or deep-fried). I’m a horticulturalist, so I’d like to ask: What does PETA have against plants? Why is peeling a potato less violent than skinning a cat? I’m sure the potato would disagree.

With every statement like these, the Right has an orgasm and picks up 10,000 voters. PETA, You’re. Not. Helping.

I’ll tell you what’s happening, Rat – we’re letting militant left-wingers bully us into submitting to their agenda of political correctness.

Funny, which shows that it is getting harder to tell what is parody and what is real:https://townhall.com/columnists/derekhunter/2019/05/16/peta-is-beyond-parody-n2546372

Pastis got a joke in, and demonstrated how messed up the world is. Two birds with one stone.

But isn’t it unhealthy to feed birds ultra-processed foods?

Frankly, stones taste better and are less dry.

What do you do with a moral stance that can’t tell the difference between torturing an animal and a turn of phrase? Ignore it. It’s not worth your time.

#* Peta. They’re more interested in annoying people than getting people on their side.

Are scones even good for birds ?

Normally PBS tries to serve two puns with one groan…

I believe that most vegetarians have no use for PETA. Horrible organization.

I oppose “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals” because I actually favor the ethical treatment of animals.

OMG, it IS for real! Sigh…

Let that scone sit for a few days and you can still kill two birds with it.

Let him who is without stone cast the first scone.

Wow. Such extreme (and often hateful) reactions to a mild suggestion. I kinda like the phrase. The original phrase is ridiculously out of date, anyway; how many people have any idea how to use a sling? Even the slingshot is rare, now, and as for simply throwing the stone, I’ve never been accurate enough to hit one bird with two dozen stones.

Tell P.E.T.A. to shove it where the sun don’t shine

PETA schmeta, you cant go around and tell people what to say or not say….they have lost their true mission….

How does PETA feel about animals eating animals?

A bird in the hand should be let free to fly away. And, poop on your car.

https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/peta-mocked-for-trying-to-end-sayings-like-kill-two-birds-with-one-stone

What is happening?

Why? We have way too much goose poop to track in now. Imagine adding ostrich poop. J. J. Audubon shot 1,000s of birds then drew them The Audubon Society bought and destroyed our WI Goose Pond after many years of our hunts there. Last visit zero geese and ducks. So sad!

I am a hunter that likes birds. Fried, baked, grilled. In sauce or gravy. One stone to kill 2? Sounds like a good hunting day to me. I did not get to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables only.

Please do not give that org. any more publicity.

I’m not sure what the heck is safe to say anymore! (Is “heck” OK?)

We keep letting those fringe fanatics take the lead in the discussions.

Woohoo!!! Congrats on winning the 2019 Reuben!!!

Congratulations, Stephan, winner of the 2019 Reuben Award!!!!

Rat rage 2019

One has to admit, this being real, PETA is being incredibly stupid. Humans or no humans, animals die every day. They are eaten by other animals. Get a clue PETA.

F@@k PETA, and the horse they wouldn’t ride on, because it would be cruel, or something like that.

But then again, they say not to feed bread to ducks because it kills them, so we’re right back where we started from…

Goat reads strange newspapers. This “news” is half a year old.

Sure think there could have been a ‘gator tie in here somewhere. Miss those ’gators when they’re not around.

Hey PETA: I work from home and get paid to effectively eat pizza in my underwear while binge-watching Netflix. I KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE that way!! Don’t like that I said it? Cry me a river and tell me what a bad person I am. See if that changes my mind.

Rat is the swear king.

OMG, Pastis, you’re one up on Rat!!!

Wait, so is the scone poisoned so as to get the same effect?

It appears that some PETA-loving Comic Censor Guy didn’t like the post I made hours ago and deep-sixed it, so I’ll just say Rat is right and so is his alter ego, Cartoon-Boy….

Lets make a deal

If everybody suddenly became vegetarian/vegan, wouldn’t that lead to overpopulation of the animal kingdom?

A few years ago PETA wanted the Green Bay Packers (they were first sponsored by a meat packing company) to change their name to the Green Bay Pickers, as in fruit pickers, as in nearby Door County apple and cherry pickers, as in…THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE!

Peta is is a farce, imo. I get what they’re about, but if goddess hadn’t wanted us to eat meat it wouldn’t taste good! (Yeah, candy… and scones… taste good too, but they were invented by humans). Be vegan if you wish, but leave me alone about my burger!

Every scone is (too) high in “simple” carbs (white flour, sugar, raisins…) and too low in the things that birds really need in their crops (seeds, bugs). We feed them seeds for sustenance and suet for a treat (and for the wood peckers et al who don’t really eat seeds)

Googled it to confirm it is true. And while I consider myself to be very progressive and forward-thinking, for the first time since I’ve been reading this strip I agree with Rat.

Sorry, but Rat, get the bat again.

Everybody gets one so no one is left out

Isn’t starch unhealthy for birds?

Leave no Scone unturned.

I’ve heard that saying before Ha ha ah… Feed two birds with one scone.I like that.

This is the parody inversion point Dogbert spoke of!

Leftism/commie/fascists are what’s happening. Mental disorders on a mass scale.

How about “bean 2 Peta supporters with one stone”

Poisoned scone!

PETA will be glad to know that, in Italian, the equivalent expression is “prendere due piccioni con una fava”. That is, to catch two pigeons (baiting them) with just one fava bean. Not clear what one’s going to do with the pigeons afterwards but, apparently, less murderous. Anyway, why kill birds (wild birds)? Unless, of course, if you are lost in the woods and starving