Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 12, 2022

  1. Img 0910
    BE THIS GUY  about 2 years ago

    People wouldn’t order it if you didn’t offer it.

     •  Reply
  2. Ding a ling
    BasilBruce  about 2 years ago

    Rat, just give him the whip. Repeatedly.

     •  Reply
  3. Photo
    Robin Harwood  about 2 years ago

    I don’t know what the guy is asking for. Is it coffee?

     •  Reply
  4. Figaro 1
    Wilde Bill  about 2 years ago

    I dunno, he seems pretty whipped to me.

     •  Reply
  5. Zooey girl
    ronaldspence  about 2 years ago

    to misquote the Rollimg Stomes, “Rat sees that order and he wants to serve it black!”

     •  Reply
  6. Crazyforkedindianpalmsquirrel max 1mb
    B UTTONS  about 2 years ago

    Sir, we serve coffee. Whipping are handled at the massage parlor 2 doors down.

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    willispate  about 2 years ago

    to Rat Give me the Strongest Coffee you got, Heavy on the Cream and Sugar. Rat: How hot do you want it? to Rat Hot enough to make me stand the rest of the year. Rat: Coming right up.

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    carlsonbob  about 2 years ago

    For once, I agree with rat!

     •  Reply
  9. Ava2
    C  about 2 years ago

    The decline of Western Civilization

     •  Reply
  10. The rat
    Ratkin Premium Member about 2 years ago

    I never frequent Starbucks normally, but once I was on a road trip and I was charging my car for a half hour or so and it was the only food source and shelter from the rain. I ordered “a cup of coffee” and they actually gave me one. I didn’t know any of the terms like this guy used. I also bought some awful dry chicken sandwich they called by some Italian name.

     •  Reply
  11. Large blunebottle
    blunebottle  about 2 years ago

    A minute of silence, please.

     •  Reply
  12. 20071112 einstein
    hariseldon59  about 2 years ago

    I’m sure Rat would enjoy whipping him.

     •  Reply
  13. 6892211ffa124d5d1e5f7ae1bbce02db  pearls google images
    _lounger_  about 2 years ago

    you can’t always get what you want…

     •  Reply
  14. 20211101 125120
    scote1379 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    In and out no "Gingerbreading " large Black Coffee, Done !

     •  Reply
  15. C8qq8guw0aac3et
    garethkb415 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Bad boy cartoonist Sephan Pastis remains on the cutting edge of 90s humor

     •  Reply
  16. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  about 2 years ago

    What’s funny is that baristas learn to keep orders like that straight all day long, but give ‘em a name like “Bob” to write on the cup and they can’t spell it right.

     •  Reply
  17. Sammy on gocomics
    Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 2 years ago

    When the coffee tastes terrible, the customers are forces to add all kinds of junk to it. The company can then charge much more for it.

     •  Reply
  18. Foolishhandsomebarracuda max 1mb
    Frog-on-a-Log Premium Member about 2 years ago

    I shall mourn with you, Rat.

     •  Reply
  19. B3b2b771 4dd5 4067 bfef 5ade241cb8c2
    cdward  about 2 years ago

    What’s wring with this country is more likely to be found in that mega-pickup truck he drove to the coffee shop (but never actually uses to haul stuff).

     •  Reply
  20. Dragon head coloring page 724x1024
    MoonMan1999  about 2 years ago

    How do you make a coffee that’s over the boiling point of water?

     •  Reply
  21. Fallout boy
    Kayak_Brian  about 2 years ago

    He ordered a grande but will only drink a short worth (yes, I had to look up the smallest size from Starbucks, 8 oz.)

     •  Reply
  22. Billcat
    ACK! Premium Member about 2 years ago

    When all the control you have over your life is the options in your coffee, you go for what you can get.

     •  Reply
  23. Missing large
    SALUDADOG  about 2 years ago

    Rat is not wrong, but he’s also contributing to the decline of civilization with that bowtie.

     •  Reply
  24. Freedom
    bookworm0812  about 2 years ago

    I found the wrong. It’s the guy didn’t say “Please.” And that’s where things are wrong with this country. People don’t know how to use common courtesy anymore.

     •  Reply
  25. Familyreunion2009
    Pocosdad  about 2 years ago

    OK, I’m not a coffee drinker. Can you actually order your coffee at a specific temperature, or is that just something that Pastis made up?

     •  Reply
  26. 20141112 192913
    Aladar30 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Rat, i can assure you than in Italy is normal ask for way weirder kind of coffee.

     •  Reply
  27. Nc201206
    some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member about 2 years ago

    I think it started with the word “Grande”.

     •  Reply
  28. Grandbudapesthotel cr alamy
    Imagine  about 2 years ago

    100 degrees C, F or K?

     •  Reply
  29. Emmett and bella 3 3 2022
    EmmettWayne  about 2 years ago

    Can they actually set the temperature?

     •  Reply
  30. Ed583643 91bf 4172 be99 60eabdf33fa3
    Lee26 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Two observations: Rat is in the wrong occupation and two, I’m glad that I am a tea drinker.

     •  Reply
  31. 123631647 10157732280428316 4231990242952427275 n  1
    chris_o42  about 2 years ago

    I’m glad I don’t drink coffee—I’d never be able to remember all that.

     •  Reply
  32. 1959 chevy elcamino
    F-Flash  about 2 years ago

    Luke warm ?

     •  Reply
  33. Dscf0345
    colddonkey  about 2 years ago

    Love the look I get when I walk in the shop and just order a coffee black.

     •  Reply
  34. Face
    BadCreaturesBecomeDems  about 2 years ago

    If you know what this person ordered, I don’t want to know you.

     •  Reply
  35. 3083024 0826053922 daveb
    Kaputnik  about 2 years ago

    This morning’s coffee. Black. Espresso roast beans. Made in a Moka Pot. At home. I am actually kind of picky about my coffee with nothing else in it, but if I do go to a place like Joe’s Roastery, they can usually handle a black coffee. I’m not going to put a thermometer in it to see if it’s the perfect temperature. I might want to go there when Rat’s not working, though.

     •  Reply
  36. Gators
    Croc Holliday  about 2 years ago

    Hey Rat, blame Joe’s for making those options available. In business, the supply is often created first, and then marketing takes care of the demand.

     •  Reply
  37. Ellis archer profile
    Ellis97  about 2 years ago

    We sell drinks here, sir.

     •  Reply
  38. Missing large
    klapre  about 2 years ago

    I don’t know about the rest of the country but in New England we have a short hand way of ordering: give me a “regular” means large with cream and sugar. Anything else is just slowing down the line.

     •  Reply
  39. Img 0448  2018 01 29 23 33 16 utc
    pheets  about 2 years ago

    Amen.

     •  Reply
  40. Missing large
    uniquename  about 2 years ago

    When your customer walks in with his fists already balled up, it might be better not to argue with him. Especially before his first cup of whatever that is.

     •  Reply
  41. 63680c74 0f3b 4c1a adb6 fbbe1a174ea3
    ElVez2  about 2 years ago

    Need to mourn the decline of manners. Not a please, or can I have , or a thank you out there

     •  Reply
  42. 1017207 10200214106421862 492754112 n
    Cameron1988 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Doesn’t matter how much shyt you put into it the coffee will still taste bitter

     •  Reply
  43. 1306946534966
    Spacetech  about 2 years ago

    That will be $85.78. Inflation and local taxes.

     •  Reply
  44. Photo 1501706362039 c06b2d715385
    Zebrastripes  about 2 years ago

    Give him what he wants, so he leaves, customer is always right…but NOT REALLY!

     •  Reply
  45. Image
    diskus Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Is there any coffee in that thing?

     •  Reply
  46. Missing large
    MichiganMitten  about 2 years ago

    My dad went into one of those cafes and said “I want a coffee.” The barista began to start with options, thought better of it after a couple of words and the look on my dad’s face, and got him a black coffee. Which is probably the rarest order at those places.

     •  Reply
  47. Missing large
    Tweet&Bleat  about 2 years ago

    Is there coffee in there somewhere?

     •  Reply
  48. 96480   copy  2
    Goat from PBS  about 2 years ago

    I think the biggest flaw with that order is that it’s half-caff.

     •  Reply
  49. Cave cat
    CaveCat87  about 2 years ago

    Rat, don’t try to rile him up, just give him his order! Also, I prefer drinking tea to coffee.

     •  Reply
  50. Missing large
    raybarb44  about 2 years ago

    No time to morn. Coffee now….

     •  Reply
  51. Missing large
    petermerck  about 2 years ago

    Sad part is how many different combinations he tried to get to this level of annoyance.

     •  Reply
  52. Missing large
    Drbarb71 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Italians say, “Everything in America has too much sugar.” Their caffe is to die for. They call Starbucks “burnt beans”.

     •  Reply
  53. Tink
    snowedin, now known as Missy's mom  about 2 years ago

    Amen!

     •  Reply
  54. Missing large
    timbob2313 Premium Member about 2 years ago

    If that is in fact an actual drink, I feel sorry for everyone who works at Starbucks

     •  Reply
  55. 750a5be89e5492a6a79cdd5442eb47d9371b0b836689298121981f62979e5eac
    hooglah  about 2 years ago

    Are there people really like that?

     •  Reply
  56. Missing large
    John Jorgensen  about 2 years ago

    Rat sure is a snazzily dressed barrista.

     •  Reply
  57. Photo
    MartinPerry1  about 2 years ago

    I used to think the Fraser boys were a parody. I now see they were a glimpse into the future, now our present.

     •  Reply
  58. Me4
    CitizenOfTheValley  about 2 years ago

    A fun time: Walk into the local coffee shop. Order a large coffee. Get the blank stare. Give them your name and ask, how much? Again, get a blank stare. Baristas don’t understand plain black coffee.

     •  Reply
  59. Missing large
    stamps  about 2 years ago

    Soon there will be more coffee varieties than ice cream flavors.

     •  Reply
  60. Purplepeopleeater small
    Purple People Eater  about 2 years ago

    I wonder what Rat would do if someone simply asked for a cup of coffee.

     •  Reply
  61. Missing large
    rexhahn Premium Member about 2 years ago

    So on point. I hope the readers understand the meaning.

     •  Reply
  62. Pupil
    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Have it your way. Unless it’s after 2021.

     •  Reply
  63. Pupil
    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 2 years ago

    I like my coffee like I like my women: Black and Hot.

     •  Reply
  64. Klingon crest a
    Scott S  about 2 years ago

    Irish Coffee

    1 1/3 oz (2 parts) Irish whiskey 1 oz (1½ parts) Fresh cream 1 tsp. Brown sugar 2 2/3 oz (4 parts) Hot coffee

    Heat the coffee, whiskey & sugar. Do not boil. Pour into glass & top with cream. Serve hot.

     •  Reply
  65. Spinynorman
    liberalnlovinit  about 2 years ago

    I’ve always wondered – would the guy be able to tell if Rat intentionally left out one of the ingredients?

     •  Reply
  66. Missing large
    JustMe  about 2 years ago

    Rat is my spirit animal hahaha

     •  Reply
  67. Missing large
    198.23.5.11  about 2 years ago

    Worse news for Rat—the next customer is Jeremy of ZITS

     •  Reply
  68. Obama e. neuman..
    cosman  about 2 years ago

    ..The non-fat soy clued me.

     •  Reply
  69. 9955efd21df5915eff04d5beb0b7f6bb
    jth4510  about 2 years ago

    Local Dunkin’ used to fill your cup half full of milk if you didn’t say “just a dash”, or something like that.

     •  Reply
  70. Missing large
    asrialfeeple  about 2 years ago

    Rat: “Turn around and keep walking until you can drink something normal” Customer: “But …”Rat: “You have your order”

     •  Reply
  71. Missing large
    aKG1  about 2 years ago

    The guy ordering is one of those people that doesn’t really understand his order. No need to say non-fat when getting soy and macchiato is topped with milk foam, not whipped cream so it comes no whip.

     •  Reply
  72. Joe the bugatti mulhouse clipped
    Call me Ishmael  about 2 years ago

    There’s only one thing wrong with our country: 70,000,000 people who don’t realize how imperiled they are. Today I saw a truck with a Trump sticker saying “stand by your country” – and urging us to vote for the draft-dodger who calls dead soldiers “losers”. Go figure….

     •  Reply
  73. Screenshot  18
    Da Cat Guy  about 2 years ago

    Is there a possible coffee order that is a pangram – that contains every letter of the alphabet, like “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”?

     •  Reply
  74. Thinker
    Sisyphos  about 2 years ago

    Rat may not be a very good barista, but he does effectively puncture the pomposity of pretentious preferences!

     •  Reply
  75. Missing large
    Otis Rufus Driftwood  about 2 years ago

    You want to ‘mourn our decline’, Rat? How about our labor economy being so dysfunctional, they won’t fire you? Rat is an example of the kind of people in real life whom we should be paying to stay out of the workforce. Like Wally from ‘Dilbert’, they may not make one percent of the overall workforce, but their toxicity is a huge problem for the rest of us.

     •  Reply
  76. Nollanav
    DaBump Premium Member about 2 years ago

    Please tell me a good deal of the humor is due to the order being an exaggerated mockery and not all that close to anybody’s actual order.

     •  Reply
  77.  k3 6383
    AndrewSharpe  about 2 years ago

    And I used to order a black coffee.

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Pearls Before Swine