to Rat Give me the Strongest Coffee you got, Heavy on the Cream and Sugar. Rat: How hot do you want it? to Rat Hot enough to make me stand the rest of the year. Rat: Coming right up.
I never frequent Starbucks normally, but once I was on a road trip and I was charging my car for a half hour or so and it was the only food source and shelter from the rain. I ordered “a cup of coffee” and they actually gave me one. I didn’t know any of the terms like this guy used. I also bought some awful dry chicken sandwich they called by some Italian name.
What’s funny is that baristas learn to keep orders like that straight all day long, but give ‘em a name like “Bob” to write on the cup and they can’t spell it right.
What’s wring with this country is more likely to be found in that mega-pickup truck he drove to the coffee shop (but never actually uses to haul stuff).
I found the wrong. It’s the guy didn’t say “Please.” And that’s where things are wrong with this country. People don’t know how to use common courtesy anymore.
This morning’s coffee. Black. Espresso roast beans. Made in a Moka Pot. At home. I am actually kind of picky about my coffee with nothing else in it, but if I do go to a place like Joe’s Roastery, they can usually handle a black coffee. I’m not going to put a thermometer in it to see if it’s the perfect temperature. I might want to go there when Rat’s not working, though.
I don’t know about the rest of the country but in New England we have a short hand way of ordering: give me a “regular” means large with cream and sugar. Anything else is just slowing down the line.
When your customer walks in with his fists already balled up, it might be better not to argue with him. Especially before his first cup of whatever that is.
My dad went into one of those cafes and said “I want a coffee.” The barista began to start with options, thought better of it after a couple of words and the look on my dad’s face, and got him a black coffee. Which is probably the rarest order at those places.
A fun time: Walk into the local coffee shop. Order a large coffee. Get the blank stare. Give them your name and ask, how much? Again, get a blank stare. Baristas don’t understand plain black coffee.
The guy ordering is one of those people that doesn’t really understand his order. No need to say non-fat when getting soy and macchiato is topped with milk foam, not whipped cream so it comes no whip.
There’s only one thing wrong with our country: 70,000,000 people who don’t realize how imperiled they are. Today I saw a truck with a Trump sticker saying “stand by your country” – and urging us to vote for the draft-dodger who calls dead soldiers “losers”. Go figure….
You want to ‘mourn our decline’, Rat? How about our labor economy being so dysfunctional, they won’t fire you? Rat is an example of the kind of people in real life whom we should be paying to stay out of the workforce. Like Wally from ‘Dilbert’, they may not make one percent of the overall workforce, but their toxicity is a huge problem for the rest of us.
BE THIS GUY about 2 years ago
People wouldn’t order it if you didn’t offer it.
BasilBruce about 2 years ago
Rat, just give him the whip. Repeatedly.
Robin Harwood about 2 years ago
I don’t know what the guy is asking for. Is it coffee?
Wilde Bill about 2 years ago
I dunno, he seems pretty whipped to me.
ronaldspence about 2 years ago
to misquote the Rollimg Stomes, “Rat sees that order and he wants to serve it black!”
B UTTONS about 2 years ago
Sir, we serve coffee. Whipping are handled at the massage parlor 2 doors down.
willispate about 2 years ago
to Rat Give me the Strongest Coffee you got, Heavy on the Cream and Sugar. Rat: How hot do you want it? to Rat Hot enough to make me stand the rest of the year. Rat: Coming right up.
carlsonbob about 2 years ago
For once, I agree with rat!
C about 2 years ago
The decline of Western Civilization
Ratkin Premium Member about 2 years ago
I never frequent Starbucks normally, but once I was on a road trip and I was charging my car for a half hour or so and it was the only food source and shelter from the rain. I ordered “a cup of coffee” and they actually gave me one. I didn’t know any of the terms like this guy used. I also bought some awful dry chicken sandwich they called by some Italian name.
blunebottle about 2 years ago
A minute of silence, please.
hariseldon59 about 2 years ago
I’m sure Rat would enjoy whipping him.
_lounger_ about 2 years ago
you can’t always get what you want…
scote1379 Premium Member about 2 years ago
In and out no "Gingerbreading " large Black Coffee, Done !
garethkb415 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Bad boy cartoonist Sephan Pastis remains on the cutting edge of 90s humor
dadoctah about 2 years ago
What’s funny is that baristas learn to keep orders like that straight all day long, but give ‘em a name like “Bob” to write on the cup and they can’t spell it right.
Say What Now‽ Premium Member about 2 years ago
When the coffee tastes terrible, the customers are forces to add all kinds of junk to it. The company can then charge much more for it.
Frog-on-a-Log Premium Member about 2 years ago
I shall mourn with you, Rat.
cdward about 2 years ago
What’s wring with this country is more likely to be found in that mega-pickup truck he drove to the coffee shop (but never actually uses to haul stuff).
MoonMan1999 about 2 years ago
How do you make a coffee that’s over the boiling point of water?
Kayak_Brian about 2 years ago
He ordered a grande but will only drink a short worth (yes, I had to look up the smallest size from Starbucks, 8 oz.)
ACK! Premium Member about 2 years ago
When all the control you have over your life is the options in your coffee, you go for what you can get.
SALUDADOG about 2 years ago
Rat is not wrong, but he’s also contributing to the decline of civilization with that bowtie.
bookworm0812 about 2 years ago
I found the wrong. It’s the guy didn’t say “Please.” And that’s where things are wrong with this country. People don’t know how to use common courtesy anymore.
Pocosdad about 2 years ago
OK, I’m not a coffee drinker. Can you actually order your coffee at a specific temperature, or is that just something that Pastis made up?
Aladar30 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Rat, i can assure you than in Italy is normal ask for way weirder kind of coffee.
some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member about 2 years ago
I think it started with the word “Grande”.
Imagine about 2 years ago
100 degrees C, F or K?
EmmettWayne about 2 years ago
Can they actually set the temperature?
Lee26 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Two observations: Rat is in the wrong occupation and two, I’m glad that I am a tea drinker.
chris_o42 about 2 years ago
I’m glad I don’t drink coffee—I’d never be able to remember all that.
F-Flash about 2 years ago
Luke warm ?
colddonkey about 2 years ago
Love the look I get when I walk in the shop and just order a coffee black.
BadCreaturesBecomeDems about 2 years ago
If you know what this person ordered, I don’t want to know you.
Kaputnik about 2 years ago
This morning’s coffee. Black. Espresso roast beans. Made in a Moka Pot. At home. I am actually kind of picky about my coffee with nothing else in it, but if I do go to a place like Joe’s Roastery, they can usually handle a black coffee. I’m not going to put a thermometer in it to see if it’s the perfect temperature. I might want to go there when Rat’s not working, though.
Croc Holliday about 2 years ago
Hey Rat, blame Joe’s for making those options available. In business, the supply is often created first, and then marketing takes care of the demand.
Ellis97 about 2 years ago
We sell drinks here, sir.
klapre about 2 years ago
I don’t know about the rest of the country but in New England we have a short hand way of ordering: give me a “regular” means large with cream and sugar. Anything else is just slowing down the line.
pheets about 2 years ago
Amen.
uniquename about 2 years ago
When your customer walks in with his fists already balled up, it might be better not to argue with him. Especially before his first cup of whatever that is.
ElVez2 about 2 years ago
Need to mourn the decline of manners. Not a please, or can I have , or a thank you out there
Cameron1988 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Doesn’t matter how much shyt you put into it the coffee will still taste bitter
Spacetech about 2 years ago
That will be $85.78. Inflation and local taxes.
Zebrastripes about 2 years ago
Give him what he wants, so he leaves, customer is always right…but NOT REALLY!
diskus Premium Member about 2 years ago
Is there any coffee in that thing?
MichiganMitten about 2 years ago
My dad went into one of those cafes and said “I want a coffee.” The barista began to start with options, thought better of it after a couple of words and the look on my dad’s face, and got him a black coffee. Which is probably the rarest order at those places.
Tweet&Bleat about 2 years ago
Is there coffee in there somewhere?
Goat from PBS about 2 years ago
I think the biggest flaw with that order is that it’s half-caff.
CaveCat87 about 2 years ago
Rat, don’t try to rile him up, just give him his order! Also, I prefer drinking tea to coffee.
raybarb44 about 2 years ago
No time to morn. Coffee now….
petermerck about 2 years ago
Sad part is how many different combinations he tried to get to this level of annoyance.
Drbarb71 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Italians say, “Everything in America has too much sugar.” Their caffe is to die for. They call Starbucks “burnt beans”.
snowedin, now known as Missy's mom about 2 years ago
Amen!
timbob2313 Premium Member about 2 years ago
If that is in fact an actual drink, I feel sorry for everyone who works at Starbucks
hooglah about 2 years ago
Are there people really like that?
John Jorgensen about 2 years ago
Rat sure is a snazzily dressed barrista.
MartinPerry1 about 2 years ago
I used to think the Fraser boys were a parody. I now see they were a glimpse into the future, now our present.
CitizenOfTheValley about 2 years ago
A fun time: Walk into the local coffee shop. Order a large coffee. Get the blank stare. Give them your name and ask, how much? Again, get a blank stare. Baristas don’t understand plain black coffee.
stamps about 2 years ago
Soon there will be more coffee varieties than ice cream flavors.
Purple People Eater about 2 years ago
I wonder what Rat would do if someone simply asked for a cup of coffee.
rexhahn Premium Member about 2 years ago
So on point. I hope the readers understand the meaning.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 2 years ago
Have it your way. Unless it’s after 2021.
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member about 2 years ago
I like my coffee like I like my women: Black and Hot.
Scott S about 2 years ago
Irish Coffee
1 1/3 oz (2 parts) Irish whiskey 1 oz (1½ parts) Fresh cream 1 tsp. Brown sugar 2 2/3 oz (4 parts) Hot coffee
Heat the coffee, whiskey & sugar. Do not boil. Pour into glass & top with cream. Serve hot.
liberalnlovinit about 2 years ago
I’ve always wondered – would the guy be able to tell if Rat intentionally left out one of the ingredients?
JustMe about 2 years ago
Rat is my spirit animal hahaha
198.23.5.11 about 2 years ago
Worse news for Rat—the next customer is Jeremy of ZITS
cosman about 2 years ago
..The non-fat soy clued me.
jth4510 about 2 years ago
Local Dunkin’ used to fill your cup half full of milk if you didn’t say “just a dash”, or something like that.
asrialfeeple about 2 years ago
Rat: “Turn around and keep walking until you can drink something normal” Customer: “But …”Rat: “You have your order”
aKG1 about 2 years ago
The guy ordering is one of those people that doesn’t really understand his order. No need to say non-fat when getting soy and macchiato is topped with milk foam, not whipped cream so it comes no whip.
Call me Ishmael about 2 years ago
There’s only one thing wrong with our country: 70,000,000 people who don’t realize how imperiled they are. Today I saw a truck with a Trump sticker saying “stand by your country” – and urging us to vote for the draft-dodger who calls dead soldiers “losers”. Go figure….
Da Cat Guy about 2 years ago
Is there a possible coffee order that is a pangram – that contains every letter of the alphabet, like “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”?
Sisyphos about 2 years ago
Rat may not be a very good barista, but he does effectively puncture the pomposity of pretentious preferences!
Otis Rufus Driftwood about 2 years ago
You want to ‘mourn our decline’, Rat? How about our labor economy being so dysfunctional, they won’t fire you? Rat is an example of the kind of people in real life whom we should be paying to stay out of the workforce. Like Wally from ‘Dilbert’, they may not make one percent of the overall workforce, but their toxicity is a huge problem for the rest of us.
DaBump Premium Member about 2 years ago
Please tell me a good deal of the humor is due to the order being an exaggerated mockery and not all that close to anybody’s actual order.
AndrewSharpe about 2 years ago
And I used to order a black coffee.