Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for July 22, 2021

They’re not deceased, they’re the retired retirees.

The slogan for a Big & Tall clothing store: “Clothes designed for the spatially challenged.”

" hold my beer "

Mortality is eternal.

I went to see my grandpa, but he wasn’t there.

“Immortally challenged” seems like someone who’s not the brightest light in the knife drawer, and who has been that way … forever.

I’m intellectually challenged.

Not sure eternity is a good substitute for immortality. Maybe i am just challenged on both counts!

I accept the challenge.

A home for the body, not the soul.

Hey! I plan to live forever.

And you know what? So far so good.

Those who were gravely ill have gone to a reserve where they get stoned.

Underground movement recruiting centre.

“Climate change.” Talk about a euphemism! It never was “climate change,” that was ginned up to sound less frightening than “global warming.” In truth, these days it’s now global roasting.

Cryptic

It’s the you can’t live forever model for those who fatally think otherwise.

We all die, if we live long enough.

The morally challenged should retire.

I guess it’s better than my name for the place: “Dirt with bodies underneath.”

Gets me thinking, where do silly euphemisms go to die?

And they don’t have “Gravediggers”, they now employ “Manual Soil Extraction Engineers”, but they are “Placed in their Eternal Resting Locations” only after their “Mortal Remains” have been treated by the “Physical Vessel Retention Specialists” at the “After Life Preparation Facility”.

I would prefer ‘immorally challenged’.

Misplaced location for the use of “stupidly”. Belongs to the outfit that dreams up these euphemisms.

This euphemism is nursing from the rearmost mammary; it may wind up with them pointing skywards.

A number of years ago, as the euphemism/politically correct issues were beginning (in a legitimate effort to stop idiots from using insulting language about others) someone put out a joke book with silly, over-the-top additional PC terms. It was a joke book. A parody. Republicans all over the country put out campaign ads saying this was the real agenda of the Democratic Party. Apparently Republicans lack a sense of humor. Although continuing support for 45 suggests a sense of the absurd.

This way they can charge monthly rent….

We’re all “special” that way. I think the other gate has a sigh that says “One Way”

A Newspeak Woke Folk Joke from Wiley? Impressive!

My favorite came from our financial planner: He sent a document outlining how long our money would last until the “end of retirement.” I was incredibly disappointed that I would have to go back to writing ad copy in my 90s. Really. Upset. Until the light went on and I realized what “end of retirement” meant …

Sounds like the “hold my beer” crowd..

I heard on GMA this morning that a similar debate is going on concerning sharks; it seems that “shark attack” is sending the wrong message should be changed to something like “encounter” or “accident.” But somehow, I seriously doubt the sharks care one way or the other.

A city so silent and lone, Maggie,

Where the young and the gay and the best

In polished white mansions of stone, Maggie,

Have each found a place to rest.

They can challenge all they want, it ain’t gonna make a bit of difference.

I’m just live ’til I die!

This is why I intend to make an ash of myself.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.

According to some obituaries they’ve been re-united with certain loved ones. I still don’t know how this information is relayed.

A cemetery — that’s where the dead people live.

The person that decided UFO should be replaced with UAP (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena) should be tazed.

I think Terry Pratchett sais, “vitally challenged.”

“Don’t take life so serious, Son. It ain’t nohow permanent.”

- Beauregard Houn’Dog_-

Thanx and a tip o’ the hat to POGO and Walt Kelly.

I take issue with the “cushioned” part.

Cushioned, like a sack of oranges.

Or the Living Impaired (stolen from The Simpsons)

And Immortality Challenged.

They installed that cemetery when the “Retirement Home for the Morally Challenged” filled up too quickly!

“Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred.

Tan me hide when I’m dead.

So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde,

And that’s it hangin’ on the shed.”

“The fact of having been born is a bad augury for immortality.” —George Santayana (1863–1953), American philosopher

Henrietta Lacks lives on!

I don’t want to live forever, I’m not greedy – about 125,000 years will do.

That is going to be a very long retirement for them.

“Americans are the only people who think death is optional.”

I hate break it to anyone, but we all end up there or a facsimile there of. Ok, I don’t really hate it, I find it hilarious.

Shakespeare: “At supper.”

Shouldn’t that be ‘IMMORTALITY CHALLENGED’?