Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 11, 2024

I’ll take that.

Wise a** is wise. The full spelling gets it censored.

Some people want the “right” to choose that ending, just ask the guy, played by Richard Dreyfuss, in whose life is it anyway, (NOT THE IMPROV SHOW, whose line is it anyway!!!!) who fought for the “right” to “choose” his ending…Dan aka…

So, life is an early ’70s movie?

We can only hope wise a’s

I want my life to be like a movie that ends with “To Be Continued …”

And people walk out just as the credits roll.

You spend your whole life gathering guests for your funeral.

https://www.gocomics. com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2024/01/11?ct=v&cti=1213174

What did the Kenny Rodger’s song say? “The most you could hope for is to die in your sleep!”

O well…try to win a few Oscars if you can…

Life is fatal.

Again, Mr. Pastis has given us hope, through the words of Mr. Wise-Ass.

I honestly don’t fear death like some people. I’d just rather not be there when it happens.

I’d like to go with “life is a race”. We will get to the finish eventually.

I would add “And you’re not completely alone when it happens” to that list.

Enjoy Life while you can. You’ll never get out of it alive.

“Sometimes I think, life is just a rodeo… the trick is to ride, and make it to the bell.” — some song, I can’t remember the name

I have a sign I put out at Halloween, “Life is a Witch, and Then You Fly.”

Lemont: If you could have people say just one thing about you at your funeral … what would it be?

Clyde: Hey! Look! He’s breathing!

If you want we can insert pain to your ending.

The Wicked Witch of the East agrees.

Someone — Hemingway? Orson Wells? — said something to the effect that every story can have a happy ending, if you know when to stop.

Billy Joel sang, “Only the good die young”, the question becomes, who determines “Young”?

In the moments before I die, I want to hear a sickle-wielding wolf whistling in the distance.

“I knew I could never defeat you, lobo, but I never stopped fighting for this life.”

I had a college professor who used to say that if you knew ahead of time where you were going to die, you wouldn’t go there

sooner would have worked too.

Remember, One man’s “Wise A$$ on the hill!” is another man’s ’’Dumb A$$ on a pile of shite!"

Unfortunately, it’s seldom quick and seldom painless.

I just want to know where I well die. Then I won’t go there.

Fingers crossed.

When I go, I want to go like my grandfather did, quietly in my sleep. Unlike the passengers in his car.

That would be nice.

Life’s an ok movie. I just wish there weren’t so many commercials.

Pretty sad if that’s the best you can hope for. Too bad I don’t have time to post a link to my short story, “The Zzizzm Experiment.”

Hoping to go peacefully in my sleep. Being an introvert, I’d prefer not to make a dramatic exit.

Sure the death itself is painless – it’s just every second leading up to that point can be a big pain

Don’t want to go by the devil

Don’t want to go by the demon

Don’t want to go by Satan

Don’t want to die uneasy

Just let me go naturally

As my Mom would say, “then you know the secret”…

Not all deaths are painless….☹️

There’s a saying that people should laugh when you are born and cry when you die. Then you know your life has been worth it. Netflix has a very apropos series “Six Feet Under”.

This seems to be a paraphrase of “Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” A quick Google search has two or three sites apiece attributing the quote to Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, and Leonard Cohen, and that’s just on the first page.

The GOOD NEWS: We are all going to die of something, someday.

I want to die in my sleep like my father did. Not screaming like the other passengers in the car.

Good health is merely the slowest rate at which we can die. My favorite curse is, “May you have a long, slow death.” People don’t know how to take that.

A man from our church set an example for me years ago.

he was 98, still lived in his own home and drove his own car (less than 2 miles for any trip). One day he had lunch in the restaurant that he always ate at and went home. The next day his son found him sitting in his favorite chair with a book on his lab, and a smile on his face.

I’ve always thought that too.

Death can be extremely painful. Don’t knock a painless one.

Life is stupid.

The last laugh comes after death, when you cut all your greedy relatives out of the will

I have been led to think about this lately. Had a heart monitor installed this A.M. and awaiting a catheter procedure to install a valve for aortic stenosis. I hope to hang around a bit longer.

Quentin: The good news is the engine has exploded and we’re all going to die.

Dave: How is that good news?

Quentin: I haven’t yet told you how we’re going to die. That’s the bad news.

Pirate Radio (2009)

Endings can be a conflicting time. We rarely want a good book, movie, song, or party to end. And yet, somehow, an ending imbues often a greater meaning, or an urgency to engage that would not be there if something just went on endlessly. Some things should definitely last longer though. If I could add another ten or so years to my dogs life, I would gladly give up a couple of my own. Some things feel criminally short.

Yep. Best case.

I’ll stick with Julius Caesar’s preferred type of death, unexpected.

Well that depends. For a lot of people life is never okay from the cradle to the grave.

“Mostly Harmless” – Ford Prefect (the hitchhiker, not the car)

I’m really starting to dislike the Wise Donkey.

…like LOST.

Not if you know the Lord and accept him as your Savior.

That’s just leaving the body. It ain’t over then.

It isn’t over when you die.

Will no one rid me of this Wise A$$ on the Hill? Quick and painless, or not….