Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 14, 2021

When Tim Apple says upgrade your software, you should say:

You’re not the Jobs of me!

“Oompa loompas”? That’s nuts.

iBrick…

When I got my new phone, I put my old phone in airplane mode so it would not ask for updates. I use it as a kitchen timer. I sold my most recent old phone, but still have 2 previous old phones.

Yesterday I Charged and re-used my 2013 Windows8 Nokia Lumia and I discovered that WStore don’t work anymore since 2019.

My Samsung phone is almost six years old. It no longer gets updates, and it works just fine!

I can’t remember the last time i read the words “I’ll kick you right in the Oompa Loompas”.

I remember Microslops…er..Microsoft trying to shove Win 10 down our throats when we were perfectly comfortable with older versions of the OS. :/

You oughta give that Tim Cook a kickback he won’t forget.

Resist! Last update messed up my lock screen art.

Now I know what happens if I ignore the upgrade notices! Okay, okay…Sheese

You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Cook.

I’ve never had Apple updates mess up anything, but I’ve had two Microsoft patches that screwed up our systems.

And then it died

I’ve had major issues after transferring my old iMac’s stuff to my new iMac. The old one gave it demenia. (No, it’s not a virus. Something was really screwed up in my old computer.) I just upgraded in hopes of it improving and it got worse. Sigh. The Genius Bar is in my near future.

Kick him in the what? What’d i do?

Never had an “Apple” product and never will!! Thank you very much!! If I want to purchase an “apple,” I’ll go to my nearest grocery store!!

/SHMIRK/

updates are a plot!

One advantage of being old is you still have a landline. I keep the cell thing with a different number for the junk stuff. That blame thing gets enraged and hops around for not being answered.

Updated mine yesterday! (I don’t want to be kicked in the Oompa-Loompas!)

I have a flip phone. What is this “update” of which you speak?

This is why I no longer use an iPhone.

This might be the cheapest way to get you a meeting at your place with Tim Cook ever.

Somehow the phone always gets slower and space always gets lesser and more unwanted stuffs gets installed after every updates.

In my part of the Metaverse, we use the expression: “right in the crab apples.”

More spyware for you!

The exact reason why I stick with android phones

The whole Windows 11 thing is to get people to buy new computers to run it!! Well I got 4 more years of Windows 10 and can wait.

Programmers have to justify their jobs after they’ve finished programming. So they have to keep producing useless upgrades, and tinkering with the thing until they break it.

You gotta update everything nowadays.

Next comes updating the phone so the one he has is obsolete and no longer works and has to buy a new one. Told to me by a friend who lost all of the unreplaceable pictures on his old flip phone when it happened to him. :.(

My favorite” “Account action required. Add birthday to your google account now”

Does g send out presents? :-)

Sell your oompa loompas, Pig. Mountain oysters.

Can you refuse a phone update? On mine you can put it off 3 times I think before it says it will do it without your ok. This is a Samsung, so Apple may be different.

Ahem. It’s “family jewels”, Tim…

Or, just don’t use an iPhone and your oompah loompahs will be fine.

A couple weeks ago, my phone spent five days downloading an update. Same version of the OS I’ve always had! Still messed the phone up and I had to purge all of my call history to clear the problem.

Computers are the works of the Devil. How many times have you seen someone sitting at a computer keyboard taking the Lord’s name in vein? Ditto with cell phones.

Apple sells an impressive amount of phones, but most of the world does not, in fact, run on Apple phones. In fact, Samsung sells more phones.

I am never bothered by prompts to update my phone……because that doesn’t happen on land lines.

Whichever phone, tablet, or computer you own just how many people actually look into what they’re about to update before they start the update?

How many use anti-virus let alone anti-spyware or anti-malware? And how often if ever do you check those to be sure that their auto-updating protection is actually doing that and that they are also not auto-updating each of their apps and programs?

My wife bought me a new android phone with all the bells & whistles for my birthday. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I was perfectly happy with my old cell phone – which I seldom used. This one has so many apps – especially gaming apps – which I will never, ever use – and so many daily message requests to download some app – I find most annoying. I found the Do Not Disturb button so I don’t have to listen to the constant pongs and pings. All I want is a phone that I can use to call someone if I have to, not another computer!!

NOOOOO! Not the family jewels !

Does it work now?

Never would’ve happened if he had a Galaxy.

I wait a week after one of these updates before applying.

I’m gonna not update just to get a visit from Tim! That would be great!

Rat, I’ll be singing soprano for a while my oompa loompas take their time traveling back down. They are painfully singing

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you. Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee, If you are wise you’ll listen to me. What do you get when you …

I simply don’t update the phone. I also don’t have financial information on it, like credit card info, nor do I use it for email, and I rarely use it for browsing. As long as it doesn’t go wonky, I’ll keep the same version of the OS that it came with.

I hate updates. They do mess everything up, so I never do them.

As a person with dwarfism: please don’t kick me, Tim Cook.

And your next update should be on the TV you’re watching. It looks older than my combo TV/VCR, if such a thing is possible!

Kind of reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer didn’t want his junk mail. Earned him a visit with the Postmaster General…

Never owned any Apple products. Never will.

Did Tim Cook approve this message?

Has anyone else figured out his business model?

If the Pope Tim Cook says to update….

The CEO a Jehovah’s witness?

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve lost all my respect for pig.

Most times, Apple devices are smart enough to know they can’t handle the update. But not phones, go figure.

And guess what? The updates messed everything up. As least the Oompa Loompas are safe, for now.

That’s how I feel about Windows. It always has bugs that screw something up on my computer. Luckily Bill Gates is retired.

Wow! So many comments, I had a funny joke about Apple but no one would read this far down so I’m not going to bother commenting today.

Nooo—not the Oompa Loompas!

That phrase always makes me laugh.

Fun comic here.

Apple just wants you to update it to eventually make it inoperable, then sell you a new one for over $1000.

to much tim, to much

Yeah, don’t bother listening to him

I don’t use Apple products. Android works fine for me. And I only need one cord to charge any of my devices.

Apple is a tad imperious….

That’s exactly why I don’t have any Apple products.

Don’t you understand? You must accept the updates so that we can screw your old phone up so much that, in frustration, you buy a new model. Do your duty. Submit!

Shenanigans. Tim Cook would be telling him to buy a new phone so the update won’t mess it up.

At least he didn’t say ‘buy the new iPhone’. Probably even he can’t think of a reason to do that any more.

Bring back “The Princess Phone”—-women will prefer it.Especially if it’s pink.

Oompa Loompa