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Someoneâs been taking a page out of Steve Martinâs book.
âWell, not a lot of people smoking out here, thatâs for sure. It kind of bothers some people, if youâre in a sleazy place like this and somebody starts smoking. It doesnât bother me so much, because Iâm used to it. But if Iâm in a restaurant eating and someone asks, âHey, mind if I smoke?â I always say, "Well, no, do you mind if I fart? Itâs one of my habits!
Yeah, theyâve got a special section on airplanes for people like me now. I quit once for a year, but I gained a lot of weight. Itâs hard to quit. After s*x, you have the urge to light one up."
If you look for records of pranking online, you may find the one about the woman dressed as a nun supposedly selling votive candles from a table. The prank was that, while smiling as nuns do, she would suddenly clench up and lean forward, and at that point one of the candles would flare like a blowtorch. The reactions of the prank-ees was interesting
Thereâs the anecdote (possibly apocryphal) about the electrical engineering genius, Charles Steinmetz, who was an inveterate cigar smoker. When his employer, GE, considered instituting a No Smoking policy, Steinmetz supposedly replied âNo smoking, no Steinmetzâ. His cigar smoking was allowed to continue.
Very hard to find a decent Cuban now. So many are Dominican tobacco rolled in a Cuban leaf. You can tell immediately whatâs what. my local rez brings them in and I ask if they are 100% pure Cuban but they cannot show if they are or not. They wonât show me the tax sticker on the box.
I smoked cigars for 40 years; âquit 14 years ago. Cigars greatly added to my quality of life, but in deference to my potential quantity of life I gave them up. No regrets on either side of those choices.
LOL at the Momâs comment in the second panel! One of the few fart jokes I find to actually be funny. Also regarding the first panel, if itâs legalized in their area, Calvinâs line would probably be âWeed is all the rage, Dad! You should smoke weed!â
codycab 1 day ago
Well that was a âGasâ!
Sugar Bombs 95 1 day ago
At least flatulence wonât give you cancer.
Spacehog 1 day ago
I never seen that strip before! That is pretty funny!
C 1 day ago
Close, but no cigar
snsurone76 1 day ago
I hope Mom didnât give Calvin ideasâabout farting all over the house!
sirbadger 1 day ago
Is dad about to unleash rage flatulence?
Imagine 1 day ago
Rage. As in: âmakeâs Mom madâ.
Blu Bunny 1 day ago
Surprised Calvin didnât say that to mom.
orinoco womble 1 day ago
A pipe would fit Dadâs persona better and smell better, but heâs too healthy to smoke.
californiamonty 1 day ago
Flatulists were popular at one time.
finzleftright 1 day ago
Flatulence isnât nearly as nasty smelling. Flatulence doesnât make me puke like cigar odor does.
bdpoltergeist Premium Member 1 day ago
do not get her started
Jayalexander 1 day ago
So, yours doesnât stink? Contest time hike up that skirt, Iâll drop trow.
BigDaveGlass 1 day ago
Flatulence and naked flames. An explosive combination.
minty_Joe 1 day ago
Someoneâs been taking a page out of Steve Martinâs book.
âWell, not a lot of people smoking out here, thatâs for sure. It kind of bothers some people, if youâre in a sleazy place like this and somebody starts smoking. It doesnât bother me so much, because Iâm used to it. But if Iâm in a restaurant eating and someone asks, âHey, mind if I smoke?â I always say, "Well, no, do you mind if I fart? Itâs one of my habits!
Yeah, theyâve got a special section on airplanes for people like me now. I quit once for a year, but I gained a lot of weight. Itâs hard to quit. After s*x, you have the urge to light one up."
Mediatech 1 day ago
Fume about that one.
Concretionist 1 day ago
Among a certain demographic, flatulence IS all the rage. And giggle-making.
Say What? Premium Member 1 day ago
No matter how you cut it.
MĂ iri 1 day ago
If you look for records of pranking online, you may find the one about the woman dressed as a nun supposedly selling votive candles from a table. The prank was that, while smiling as nuns do, she would suddenly clench up and lean forward, and at that point one of the candles would flare like a blowtorch. The reactions of the prank-ees was interesting
MS72 1 day ago
Maybe a pipe.
The Reader Premium Member 1 day ago
Maybe they should go for a pipe instead.
steveh64 1 day ago
Thereâs the anecdote (possibly apocryphal) about the electrical engineering genius, Charles Steinmetz, who was an inveterate cigar smoker. When his employer, GE, considered instituting a No Smoking policy, Steinmetz supposedly replied âNo smoking, no Steinmetzâ. His cigar smoking was allowed to continue.
Egrayjames 1 day ago
I enjoy my Dutch MastersâŠ..Outside.
win.45mag 1 day ago
Only disgusting to uppity broads like her. Non-stop laughs for me.
Huckleberry Muhammad Premium Member 1 day ago
My guess is she pharted as she made her exit, to emphasize the point.
Kaputnik 1 day ago
If only a few people are into something, is it just part of the rage?
bbenoit 1 day ago
Flatulence is a medical condition and, therefore understandable, indeed uncontrollable. Gratuitous farting is another matter.
fjc007 1 day ago
Subtle mom, very subtle!
baskate_2000 1 day ago
Thatâs a big Amen!
Yermo Adam 1 day ago
Brilliant and screaming funny.
Rabbit Brown 2105-30 P coat 1 day ago
Vaping shouldnât be an option.
gozirra2 Premium Member 1 day ago
Calvin, âButt farting builds character! Right Dad!?!â
gozirra2 Premium Member 1 day ago
Mom just âcrop-dustedâ as she walked by. Wait a few seconds Calvin and Dad, start running to escape.
uniquename 1 day ago
Momâs not a fan of âBlazing Saddlesâ.
Twelve Badgers in a Suit Premium Member 1 day ago
This was known 30 years ago, but there are still people who think cigars are cool. Apparently we donât learn.
sandpiper about 24 hours ago
Comments today definitely lower the tone. Overworked descriptions of bodily functions are more acceptable in a bar than in a kidsâ comic.
garcalej about 24 hours ago
One word, Calvin: cancer.
Now go outside.
ladykat Premium Member about 23 hours ago
Very well put!
Wren Fahel about 23 hours ago
The smell of cigars remind me of my grandfather. He died when I was 8, due to his cigar-smoking habit. Hence, the smell is not pleasant to me.
DKHenderson about 23 hours ago
Yes, very nicely put!
Angry Indeed Premium Member about 22 hours ago
Farting is one of natureâs perks!
royq27 about 22 hours ago
Calvinâs Mom once again farts on his parade.
rockyridge1977 about 22 hours ago
âSmokingâ on both ends!!!!!
91ZULU about 22 hours ago
Although they are fairly common today, this may be the oldest fart joke (or even reference) ever published in a comic strip (1995).
formathe about 22 hours ago
Very hard to find a decent Cuban now. So many are Dominican tobacco rolled in a Cuban leaf. You can tell immediately whatâs what. my local rez brings them in and I ask if they are 100% pure Cuban but they cannot show if they are or not. They wonât show me the tax sticker on the box.
Otis Rufus Driftwood about 21 hours ago
Well played, Mom. I never understood whatâs so great about cigars anyway.
dtdbiz about 21 hours ago
If that were true, a lot of dads would be in vogue. âPull my finger.â
Holden Awn about 21 hours ago
I smoked cigars for 40 years; âquit 14 years ago. Cigars greatly added to my quality of life, but in deference to my potential quantity of life I gave them up. No regrets on either side of those choices.
wiley207 about 20 hours ago
LOL at the Momâs comment in the second panel! One of the few fart jokes I find to actually be funny. Also regarding the first panel, if itâs legalized in their area, Calvinâs line would probably be âWeed is all the rage, Dad! You should smoke weed!â
txmystic about 20 hours ago
The mid-90âs cigar craze is how I kicked my tobacco habit for goodâŠ
lnrokr55 about 19 hours ago
A woman is just a woman, but a cigarâŠ.is a smoke ! ;-)
Scott S about 19 hours ago
Man, them Rosarita refries! I gotta quit eating that!
oakie9531 about 19 hours ago
aw, youâre talking out yourâŠ..
sirjackum about 19 hours ago
Everybody was Kung Fu farting!
ekke about 18 hours ago
Buzzkill, just plain buzzkill.
And besides, flatulence is all the rage; we all do it regularly and often. So do cows!
chuckcork1 about 18 hours ago
Man to Steve Martin: Do you mind if I smoke?
SM: Not at all. Do you mind if I fart?
Spiffy about 18 hours ago
Youâd think Calvin would be all over that one.
Doctor Go about 17 hours ago
I never thought of it that way.
g04922 about 16 hours ago
Cigars smell like a fart?? LOLâŠ
Number Slx about 13 hours ago
Iâm pretty sure l didnât know what âflatulenceâ meant when l was Calvinâs age.
BC in NC Premium Member about 13 hours ago
WaitâŠso flatulence isnât all the rage right now? Uh-oh.
lindz.coop Premium Member about 8 hours ago
Not much difference.