Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 02, 2019

Didn’t Rat wake up when the riot broke out after a 0-0 tie?

Try watching a darts competition next time, Rat. Works much quicker.

Golf works too. Sometimes, baseball, but I am usually watching it late at night.

Rat, try to watch an educational documentary, you will sleep in a few minutes.

What Rat thought to be football/soccer, was actually the televised fist fight between Trump and Pelosi. Siri misunderstood Rat’s desire to see the team that Trumped in Soccer.

Soccer is 90 minutes of actual playing time, doesn’t leave a lot of time for commercials. NFL football games only have 11 minutes of actual playing time, leaving the rest to beer, car and insurance commercials, and instant replays….

https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704281204575002852055561406

Soccer is just a very slow imitation of Australian Rules Football. Look for AFL on the alternative sports channels. Scores of 74-71 (or thereabouts) are not all that uncommon.

That might work until someone eventually scores: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Football (soccer to a minor world population!) is a lot better than wimps in plastic armour running around with balls pretending to be as tough as Rugby players!

There – that’s my contribution to a minor flame war!

Meh. I bearly watch sports.

Soccer would put me to sleep as well in seconds, faster than listening to a golf commentator.

Want to sleep ? Just listen to a long winded preacher ! Put me to sleep in church every time until I got the poke in the ribs ;-) ……. Croc Power !

Gee, I get the same effect with all major league sports….

It’s sadly true

Non stop action but not enough scoring? I guess that’s why Hockey, although by far the most entertaining, technical and skilled north american sport is not as popular as the others.

I’ve always been amazed that people can actually watch TV in bed and fall asleep to it. It’s like try to fall asleep when the radio is on. Some peoples brains must just be wired differently.

or just irritating, since nothing watchable happens

Try reading “War and Peace” the next time, Rat. You might like half of the book, though.

Try watching golf. Instant sleep!

I would think golf would put anyone to sleep…BORING!!!!!!……..ZZZZZZZZ

Soccer? Are you kidding? Golf, THAT is for insomniacs. Or baseball. But soccer? There’s always action.

90 minutes of watching men run around. Nothing happens but sometimes they stop to feign injury though.

I’ve found that reruns of Johnny Carson can still put me to sleep 30 years later.

The US invents sports nobody else plays so we can dominate the world in them. Like the ‘World’ series. It’s just US.

Or it could be any televised sport in general. . . YAWN!

Yes, yes they are.

I can understand why people who don’t understand soccer would find it boring. Same for baseball, golf, and a host of other sports. I love watching soccer, but then I played for 40 years, so I understand the nuances of the game. By the same token, I don’t particularly like watching hockey, but then I don’t understand it.

Soccer is like a singles bar. A lot of action, but very little scoring.

Love Soccer, and I sleep like a baby. Coincidence?

Ultimate disc! Not tough (like rugby) but definitely athletic!

Goooooalllll

Pro basketball: bounce, bounce, bounce, shoot, bounce, snore…

TV itself, regardless of the program (except Star Trek, the original series).

I find sports in general are the best way to fall asleep because you really aren’t missing anything important. Though if I had to pick one, it would have to be golf.

golf

or golf

Then there’s ice hockey

For us, it used to be a reliable way to have a nap on a Sunday evening by listening to Car Talk. Now our audible soporific of choice is a podcast about bad movies called the Flop House.

For me, it’s golf.

NFL or MLB does it for me.

Golf is the same. Lots of green…. zzzzzz

Socker. Darts. Golf. And the occasional Olympic fencing match with contestants lolli-running across the mat toward each other. They’re all better than Ambien.

(No offense intended to Olympic fencers. But seriously, in the middle ages that prancing would have gotten one killed pretty quick. What does that even have to do with fencing? I can say this; I’m an ex-fencer myself and gave it up. There are better sports. Volleyball, racquetball, chess…)

Golf is boring on T.V.

Soccer is like baseball. It’s a mental game with short bursts of action. It’s hockey with brains

I’m sorry to all my Canadian friends, but televised curling has to be the most boring sport on television. I admit living in the Deep South of the US limits my appreciation of what is likely a very exciting game to the participants. Soccer I can at least appreciate.

good thing he wasn’t watching REAL football – the one played by the rest of the world – then he would never have been able to sleep …

Sports and games are interesting if one knows what is going on, and preferably had tried it oneself; otherwise most games and sports are boring to watch.

[ASTONISHED GASP] Soccer is ‘the beautiful game’!

I remember an old joke:Q: Why is soccer like the “Twilight” movies?A: Everybody runs around, and runs around, and runs around, and nobody scores, and millions of people tell you You Just Don’t Get It!

Just as effective as golf.

I’ve seen soccer outside the USA, good luck trying to sleep through it there!

I played soccer in HS. Still don’t care for it.

Zzzzzzz…….

I happen to love soccer. You want something boring, watch bowling.

Bob Ross is soothing, which is not the same as boring

Watching soccer cures insomnia [so does golf and bowling and baseball].

OK, Pastis, I can handle your going after the spandex-wearing cycling set (even though I loooooooove the TDF). But going after the Beautiful Game is gonna rile me up. Better stop with this one.

Good question Rat, good question.

Or golf or any of the corny sports you find on ESPN2, like cornhole championship.

Obviously a lot of non-golfers here. If you play and understand the difficulty of the game, golf on TV is never boring. (Ok, I’ll admit that the announcers can be really boring—it’s why I have a mute on my remote)

lol I agree soccer the most boring sport in the world even cricket has more action than soccer

I always thought that’s what televised golf was for. The announcers even whisper. Total. Nap.Sport.

There’s Golf, which used to be very soothing until people started yelling “In the HOLE” after every putt.

And then there’s the fishing channel…

My personal favorite sleeping channel is the one that shows on the screen when the power’s off.

So very true.

Even watching World Cup Finals some years ago (Germany vs. someone; don’t remember for sure who) over a few cold beers in a European tavern wasn’t all that exciting, though most of the local patrons were clearly into it….

No, GOLF! Golf is supremely boring hence the prior joke Pastis did.

Not golf?

Soccer, soap operas, golf, tennis… The list goes on and on!

It’s called the beautiful game for a reason. I love soccer and so does 90% of the world.

The world cup is more popular than the Olympics

I love soccer! I could never fall asleep watching it!